So stressed

Hi All,

I'm Spidergirl, I am 23 and have been living with fibro for 10years. I'm married to my Spiderman with one child (so far) SpiderBaby who is 20(almost 21) months old.

For the past week my household has been sick with the cold (or so I thought) My Spiderman is a whimp about beening sick (I love him to death- but God, I might as well have two toddlers -_-) Spiderbaby has just been stuffy, a little fever and crumpy but this running amuck, I feel like I've been thrown through a few brick walls but I have no time to be sick- I still have a house and family to take care of.

As the week went on Spiderbaby is having more problems(she won't eat any food only wants to nurse), she can't breath through her nose at night and stopped breathing for a few moments (I stayed up to watch her as my Mom senses were going off about her breathing earlier in the day) I took her to the doctors as soon as they opened today and she lost 3lbs in one week! (she just has a check up on the 1st this month) Also the doctor looked at her ears and says it looks like she's starting to get an ear infection then he checked out her mouth and say that her tonsils are way too big and may have to come out. I almost started to cry, I had to have mine taken out when I was 8. She is so young I don't want her to go through surgery, but if it has to happen then it has to but surgery is scary. I just want to cry. I feel like I'm failing as her parent, she lost weight and may need surgery before she's even Two years old.

We are taking her into the ENT Doctors sometime next week (I'm waiting to hear back from them) until then I'm staying up at night with her to make sure she keeps breathing ok. So no sleep, still sick, and my pain level is at a 7/8+ Oh and Spiderbaby has 6 new teeth coming in..... I'm just so stressed

Dear Spidergirl:

Rather than failing Spiderbaby you're doing all of the right, responsible things for her. You got her to a doctor, listened to his advice and are caring for that darling little web slinger. No parent is responsible for their child's enlarged tonsils! And if they have to come out it sure beats having the surgery as an adult, when it's absolutely dreadful. My son had his done at age 5 and doesn't even remember. His pain level was not anything outrageous. He was sick in bed for several days, then back to normal. Spiderbaby will do fine if she needs them out. And she'll thank you later for not having a sore spiderthroat.

And babies do lose weight when ill. You're doing the responsible thing by having her under a doctor's care. Little Spiderbaby will get better.

6 new teeth coming in! Wow, Spiderbaby will be cranky! And chewy! Not to exactly compare but I have a puppy going thru the same thing. Very, very chewy. For a while he was trying to use my arm as a chicken bone or chew toy.

No wonder your pain level is so high! And you're so stressed. Fibro LOVES to hit us at the most stressful moments. I hope that SpiderHubby can get well and go back to work soon so you only have one Spiderchild to deal with. I know it's hard but please try to take some time out for yourself to rest. Do anything you can to help manage the symptoms...heating shower or bath...things to distract yourself from the pain, like a good all helps a bit. If nothing else, lowers the stress levels some, which helps to lower the fibro pain sooner or later.

Hope things improve soon! And aren't you blessed to have that little Spiderbaby?

Thank you :) I'm trying to make sure she stays healthy, I think I'm a little hard on myself at times, I look (and am) and dress (I wear a lot of superhero shirts) fairly young most people think I'm a teen mom and there for a bad parent (thankyouverymuch MTV) but I have been working with children since I was 15 and at this point pretty good with them... as I work in the child care field.

I'm ok with her tonsils coming out (The doctor said it would cut down on ear infections and all that fun stuff later) I had mine out when I was 8... I really like hospitals so I had a blast, but the ear infections and all the issues with my tonsils before I had them out are what I don''t want Spiderbaby to go through, it was so bad for me my ears were bleeding. So having her's out now may spare her in the future.

Ugh, yes she is very cranky and sensitive plus being sick she's been having more meltdowns :(

Since I can't sleep I've been snuggling with Spiderbaby in bed reading to her as she sleeps, I've been reading her The Hobbit (my Dad use to read it to me when I was sick as a child, when he passed he left me his copy, its a beautiful 5th edition green hard cover.. he also left me his Lord of the Rings copy too) and that helps keep me mellow and more relaxed :)

She is truely an amazing blessing, I thank God for her and SpiderHubs everyday. I don't think I could get out of bed without their happy faces :)

Lucky, lucky little Spiderbaby, having her SpiderMommy reading the Hobbit to her (treasured family edition) as she sleeps. Sounds so very, very peaceful. What better way is there to bond with your child than reading and snuggling up while sharing time together? Sure wish my kid was a child again.

Super hero shirts are cool and there's nothing wrong with looking up to those who seem to have special powers...we all need to have moments of levity as well as idols who seem to be able to fix things/figure things out that we can't.

Yup, you're right, those ear infections are awful. If the doc thinks the surgery is better for her, sounds like a good plan. My son had ear infection after ear infection til I finally got a new doc who agreed to take out his tonsils. Sure did help! And hopefully Spiderbaby will never have a bleeding ear! That sounds painful, scary and just plain awful!

Looking young may seem like a curse right now but will seem like a blessing as you age. And if anyone judges you wrongly because you look so young, your very actions will prove them wrong. (And you could always totally blow their mind by winking at them and saying, "pretty good for a 12 year old mother, eh?)

Yes, she is a blessing. You have two gifts there. yes, they do make life worth living, for sure.

you sound like an amazing mom. their r moms well into their 30's that cant do a good job. u have made lots of sacerfices and says alot. being sick with fibro sucks. i cant imangine have your whole house ill too. i love that u like spiderman and wear t-shirts with super hero's i wear alot of eeyore shirts and i am almost 30.

make sure and try to get some rest while someone looks after little spider baby. u will need your rest to continue to take sure good care of her. staying up with a sick baby can b very tough. i dont have kids myself but i have had both my sisters kids over night and many nimes i was up with them because they were sick.

like peturina said u r doing all the right things with your baby. once she has surgery and feels better she will put the weight back and more. it is very possiable she may lose a few more pounds with the surgey since she will not be able to eat solids for days after. i have been in child care for close to 20 years and trust me she will bounce back from all this just fine. try not to worry. their r special drinks and even a formula for her age with lots of good stuff for her to drink while she may not b eating much. they contain lots vitiamins and minerals.

please hang in their it will all b over and u will and spidybaby will be playing again soon any all this will just b a memory.

Dear Spidergirl

Yes, you have more than enough stress and Spiderman shouput his big boy pants, not his baby whiny pants. You need some help!

I am now 69, but my tonsils were taken out when I was just three. But the grew back in so at age 10 I had to have them taken out again as well as my adenoids! Oh for so many months I had severe earaches on both sides of my head. But my health improved a great deal after that. You and Spiderman ought to trade off staying up at night with your baby.

I don't have any advice as I am not a mother but from what I'm reading I must say. You are doing great, don't doubt yourself, your spiddy senses are very good and you are so strong to have fibro and a little one at your age. Most people I know who are in their 20's seem to be unable to take care of themselves... nevermind a child so you're lightyearsahead of them. And your childs health is not your fault, just as we don't blame our parents for the health issues we have. My two cents... You're an amazing mom. :)

Hey Spidergirl!

Wow, lots on your plate! Just remember this will pass, everyone will get better. I know you are a good Mom, don't doubt yourself on this. Things like tonsils are all part of life, and best to have done when young! The ENT will comfort you any way they can . I was 5 when mine were removed, maybe they can wait, maybe not.

Yes, you are so right about the men! That never seems to change! Vent away, we all know the story!

Hope the teeth get cut, and the ears clear up, and everyone can get well soon. Don't you have a Spidergram to come help you out, girl? Hopefully someone can come in and give you a rest!

My heart goes out to you. Wishing the entire Spideyfam well!



That's really quite RUDE of your tonsils to have grown back! Seriously, though, how odd to have a body part grow back! Too bad we can't have hearts or other organs do this little magic trick!

lol I love Eeyore :) my best friends mom is a huge Pooh fan and she is a children nurse so all of her scrubs are Pooh themed.

I hate being sick -_- but in a weird way I'm use to it, before fibro hit me I was always sick with something during the fall/winter seasons. And I am very much a suck it eff up type of person.

I really hope she gets this weight back, she was only 23lb and it took months for her to get over 21lbs. That and she is a smart kid, she is a head a few months on most things expect eatting, she notices when I start feeding her more solids and less breast milk so she stops eating solids- just like that.

I would love for him to take night with her once in a while but... he works grave yard (3am to 10am sometimes1pm) so I'm solo. when he gets home I take a nap.

I agree with the whiny pants though -_- I kinda wanna slap him (kidding, kidding)

Thank you :)

I wish there were more people I trusted to watch Spiderbaby, but my family is rather small and far apart. My mom is the only in town I trust, but she works with my husband, I trust my sister but she is 4 states away, my brothers are idiots around children, my father passed. My inlaws are... well most of them are crazy and aren't allowed on our property let alone near our child. The sane ones are older and aren't up for watching her (I asked). For the most part its just my husband and I (and Spiderbaby), our friends are still partying, away at college, or working FT. But then again, I wouldn't have made/had her if I wasn't willing to take care of her all the time. I knew what I was getting into and I'm good with how it is. I hate sharing her ;)

I just hope Spiderman gets his promotion asap(should be anyday) so he gets more sick days-- those would come in handy right about now -_-

You know, I was just telling someone that if they made a pill for 'family' we would all stand in line for that one!

I know you are very committed, but a break would be nice, we just had the great grand baby yesterday, overnight and today! Love having him, so glad he is so comfortable here that he will spend the night at such a tender age of 2! He really brightens our life and he begs to come nearly every single day! LOL! WE are doing something right! We are usually bed bound for at least a day afterward though! Ha!

Vent away, we're here for you, girl, hoping that Spiderman gets his promotion!

Hang in there, girl!

When I was growing up they took out my tonsils the first time when I was only three years old!! But they grew partially back so when I was ten they took my tonsils out again and my adenoids. While in the hospital the second time I picked up the red measles!!! Two weeks after I left the hospital I came down with the red measles. My immune system was not very good because for a long time prior I would have earaches nearly every night in both ears! And we had only one hot water bottle so I had to change off my ears.

Nowadays they don't take out your tonsils unless you have had strep throat so many times in six months. When I was growing up they didn't seem to think that tonsils were important.

u r blessed to have a great grand child. it is really neat the he will stay the night 2 is a tough age i can see why u need a day to recover. i can only imangine how sweet u r. u always have the nicest things to say to help others.