I realize that some of you have passed this phase, but I am stuck in the middle of it. I was diagnosed last April, so it's been about 8 months. I am pretty sure I am going through the grieving stages because I have already gone through, and am sometimes still clinging to the first step-and now I have hit a fibro fog and can't think of the word but I know it has something to do with not believing that it is actually happening. I have been on the second step or stage for a while now-anger.
I am angry that I can't just wait to get better. I am angry that I don't understand what caused this or why I have it. I'm angry because usually I can figure out why something doesn't work or what is wrong and then I am able to fix it-but I can't fix this. But most of all I am angry that I don't have anyone who fully understands and supports me. My husband is still in the stage one and I am pretty sure he will be in it for a long time.
I quit working about 18 months ago because of the symptoms I was experiencing that were later determined to be fibromyalgia. I have two bachelor degrees that haven't gotten me very far and my husband loves to tell me about it repeatedly. I just don't think I can handle starting a new job right now. I think it would be different if it was a job that I had been doing for a while and I could work with them, but I don't have that luxury. Right now, I do 95% of the housework, yardwork, bill paying, shuttling kids all while trying to find time to just relax, or to do some exercise. I don't think my husband understands how much pain I am in on a daily basis. Sometimes, my jaw hurts so bad that I don't even eat. There are times when my body hurts so bad I can't fall asleep. I can't get down on the floor and play with my 4 year old without making it a five minute process just to get up.
I feel really alone and lost and I don't know what to do. I am going to talk with a psychologist to help me through all of this. Hopefully she will have resources to point me in the right direction.