Dawn,
There are parents out there with Lou Gherig's disease, MS, paralysis, etc. who are appreciated and loved by their kids. Why? Because they gave their children the ONE thing that no child can do without on Christmas or any other day of the year: heartfelt love. My mom grew up with nothing in the Depression years. She was lucky if she got an orange for Christmas. I think one time she got a doll. She doesn't love her parents any less for this.
Advertisements are designed to make you feel like a failure if you don't GIVE your kids tons of materialistic stuff. I've seen children with tons of stuff but not a lot of love and they are a mess. I've seen kids with very little stuff and a lot of love and they are wonderful. Please remember that the ONLY gift you owe to your kids is your love. The only way you could ever fail them would be to give up the fight. Trust me, setting that sort of an example only gives them a role model to base themselves upon and act upon when the stress is too much. That is the sort of example you never want to set.
Most towns have secret Santas or Toys for Tots in the area. I know the toys aren't just for Tots. And the Salvation Army collects for families. i don't know if the time limit has passed but you could inquire.
As for your daughter's birthday, give her a card and cake, if possible, on the second, then explain that the gifts will be the next day. I've never seen a kid get too worked up over waiting a few days to celebrate. It happens all of the time because the birthday falls during the week and the party is on the weekend. If you don't make a big deal out of it, I suspect she won't either. And if she does, just calmly and rationally explain that this is the best you can do, you love her and this is how it'll be this year.
Dawn, the pain truly does make us depressed. That's not unusual. But it sounds like you need to try for better pain management as well as a discussion with your doctor about your depression. You may well need an upped dosage of your anti-depressant. I was feeling just as you were and got an increased dose and feel more like myself again.
I know, that wind can make you feel blue! Maybe you could counteract it by putting on some soothing music. And a nice heating pad and some hot cocoa. Little things to push the blues away.
Take care of yourself, Dawn. You're in a tough situation but you are also always a role model for those kids. They need you. They need your love and guiding hand. Don't let the depression do this to you. You deserve better.
Hugs,
Petunia
Inexpensive Christmas gifts can even be hand made: you can get some small unpainted wooden boxes, paint them in nice colors, decopague or glue a photo of a favorite person onto the top of the box, then decorate the edges with glued on pretty beads.
You can do something similar with wooden frames too.
You can also go to a store, buy some inexpensive small beads, get some plastic fish wire, cut the fish wire to a bit larger than the area of your daughter's neck, tie a knot in the fish wire, then put the beads on the necklace. You can tie the ends together or add lobster clasps. I'll be doing this for some of my presents this year. You'd be surprised by some of the pretty beads you can find for not a lot of money. You could even find earring wires in a craft store and make matching earrings. Someone at the store could probably help you. I've been to Michaels and have heard the staff giving info on making things.
You could buy some pretty fabric and stuffing and make your daughter a very pretty pillow for her room. If you're any good with a sewing machine, you could make her pretty matching curtains too.
You can also find some pretty interesting books in the bargain bins at Barnes and Noble. Craft stuff history stuff, etc. Even fiction. Little women is a good book, even at her age and can be found for a low cost.
A calendar with your daughter's favorite animal on it is another low cost gift. The Dollar General even has some.
Trying stringing some popcorn together and using it as garland. It would make for fun mother and daughter time.
Boutiques often have designer name stuff, like purses in them. They are in good condition and could be one way to get her something more expensive at a low cost.
Hope these suggestions help and get you thinking!
PS: One year my son and I made Christmas cookies from a mix we received as a gift. They came out Martian green! We had such a good laugh at that blooper and even took pictures to show to others. Remember, mothr daughter time is important, even at her age.
