The stresses loved ones put on us

General
1

I am new on here but have been very impressed with this site. Reading all of your posts and words of encouragement and advise has been so very helpful.

I am currently dealing with a situations that I know most all of you have encountered as well. I guess I just need to vent to people who totally understand what I am saying. I thank you for allowing me to do that here.

I was diagnosed about 10 years ago with Fibro, though I think I had early on-set from a very young age. The illness has completely destroyed the life I had envisioned for myself. I have been struggling all this time financially, emotionally and every other "ly". Lol. Then I met the love of my life. We have known each other for 30 yrs but even as kids we always had a special bond. He was older than me to he eventually got married, then I married, then he divorced, I was still married, he married again, I got divorced and so on for the past 30 yrs. But anytime we would run into each other the moment our eyes connected it was like no one else on earth was there. It sounds cliche but its the God's Honest Truth.

Finally we were both single at the same time and we figured it would be now or never to see if we really had something for a strong relationship. We got together on 12/31/10 and haven't been apart since. He knew all about my fibro and was very compassionate and understanding. That was one thing I adored about him was that he seemed to really care and understand and would do anything I needed to make me feel better. He is an extremely active person. He can barely sit and watch a movie. So I have had quite a few months of feeling better more than not so I have been able to go and do with him. Plus at the time he was working out of state for the oilfield in Alaska and gone several weeks at a time so that was my time to relax, take care of myself and get as much rest as possible. I always made sure the house was clean before he came home.

Well now we have moved to Texas. He is still in the oilfield but he is home most every night now especially while things are slow so he may actually be home all weekend. This is wonderful but this is also my greatest problem.

You see, he is of the old south, oilfield mentality. Because his work schedule is so on and off and he never knows when he might get a day off here or there he really doesn't want me working because I can have a schedule like that. Not to mention my fibro has increasingly gotten worse over the years and there is no way in hll I could hold down even a part-time job. So, he figures since he goes to work everyday that it is my job to keep the house hold in order. Well part of that I agree with. We all have to put in our labor to earn our way in life. He is able to go out and work for an employer and get paid so don't mind keeping the home clean and cooking dinner for him and washing clothes, etc. The problem comes when I am having an especially rough day, my pain level or fatigue or both is almost to the boiling over point.

2

Dear Bonita,

I understand perfectly. My husband was raised with the farming way of life, the men take care of the outside, the women take care of the inside and cook. ha! My wonderwoman phase is long past me, I used to work 'door to door' meaning anywhere from 12-16 hours a day and do the rest, though he did start cooking, though not cleaning up the mess.

He has been through hell with me, knows how ill I am, how bad I get somedays, yet still looks for a hot dinner on the table. It seldom happens anymore.

Because of my back, from both injury and disease, I can no longer sweep, mop, vacuum. He hired the lady who used to clean for his late Mother to come weekly. She mainly just does the floors for me, works 2 hours, that is her limit, she dusts a few rooms if time allows. What a help it is and so worth the $25.00! Perhps this is something to consider, it can really make a difference in your life.

As good as they are, as much as they seem to understand, it is still a struggle when certain ways are ingrained in their culture. Hope you can work through this.

Wishing you well,

SK

3

Con't

I have tried and tried to make him understand my condition and that just because I was feeling really good for a week or two does NOT mean I'm cured. I am so frustrated with him right now because he says he know how I feel and he has read some of the posts on here showing that they are actually better worse off than me but most of they symptoms are the same as mine. He even commented that a couple of those I could have written. His family, and right now his daughter,20 who is living with us while she is in college hears her dad say negative things about me. Like he has to wash his own clothes even though he has NEVER at to go to work and not had at least a couple of clean work clothes.

4

SK! I have this visual of you at home, in pain and unable to do much of anything. You are lying down in the afternoon and decide to go in the kitchen for a glass if water at about 6:00 pm. When you walk into the kitchen, you can see your husband sitting at the dining room table, napkin tucked in his shirt, fork in one hand and knife in the other, looking down at his plate like his dinner will magically appear if he just sits there long enough! LMAO.

Men are funny. My husband will be asking me how I am doing one minute and saying he wishes he could help and he’s sorry that I am in pain and the next asking me to iron his shirts, go to the store for him the next day, etc. I don’t even think they realize what they are doing! Bumbling idjits! LOL

5

Oh my, the guilt trip always makes you feel so much better! So sorry, Bonita, from what I have read, the large majority could have written your story, or mine or MB's.

6

The problem is he gets so focused on what isn't done that he has blinders on to what does get done. I have tried every way I know how to get him to relate and he says he does but then just a few days later he will make a smart remark and I can tell he doesn't get it at all. Just the way he treats me, never a voice raised or threats, but he makes me feel like a failure because I can't keep the house spic n span. I should point out too that neither he nor his daughter will do anything to clean up because that is MY job. Not to mention that his side of the family with the exception of his dad who I knew growing up cuz he worked with my dad, think I am just with him for his money and for him to take care of me so I don't have to work. They think I am just lazy and that he is too stupid to see it. Now with his daughter here everything that happens between us goes right to her mother in AK. Shouldn't my HOME be the ONE place where I can feel safe from prying, judgmental eyes?

The other day hubby was coming home from work and he said he was going right my our pharmacy so I asked it we wanted to stop and pick up his and mine. He said sure, i'm going right by there anyway. Well he has to do things the hard way and instead of going through the drivethru he had to go inside and wait in line. So that irritated him. Then I called and asked in hamburgers sounded good he said yes. So I asked if he wanted to stop by and pick us up some and he said sure. But after he got home he seemed testy. Finally said that he was really tired and then he had to do all the running around and getting dinner and stuff while I didn't do anything today. I told him he should have said you were too tired and I would have gotten them. But he said "Sure" in an upbeat voice not a voice like sure, if i have to.:(

We used to be sooooooooooo close. We made each other laugh all the time. And I know he really does love me but I am watching him become colder and less compationate than he was before. I see on here where some people admit they are testy and grouchy to their spouses because of the pain but I truly am not. I truly try to stay as up beat as possible even when I am feeling really bad. He is the one that hives in a corner not talking and brewing. And it is usually over some stupid little thing that make absolutely no difference in his life at that point in time. He came home and his uniforms weren't washed. Well he had 6 clean ones in the closet. Then he got focused on the spare room, the bed in there wasn't made up. And he kept asking when I was going to make that bed. We do not have any plans for anyone to be coming here and staying so I don't know why he was so focused on that bed being made. The door is always closed and he rarely goes in there so it wasn't and eye sore. Then the other night he pouted all night because he had to pick up the scripts and a hamburger. He gets "it" pretty much every night so he can't even complain about that.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I have tried talking to him and he will sit and talk and say how sorry he is for making such a big deal out of nothing (like leaving the toilet seat up so I could see there were a couple of spots of urine on the underneath) Apparently that is my job too to make sure the toilet is spotless. It took two seconds to get a baby wipe I keep in there and just wipe it off. But he wanted me to know that it was there.

I am truly starting to think he is trying to make it more and more miserable for me to stay so I will leave and he won't have to deal with this anymore but he won't have to be the 'bad' guy by kicking me out.

Any ideas? Everything I have said on here is the absolute truth and absolutely no exaggerations.

He seemed so perfect but now I think he is regreting getting involved with me.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Patty

7

Patty, would he go to a professional with you?

http://www.bottomlinepublications.com/content/article/home-a-family/spouse-in-pain-how-to-be-supportive

8

I don't know. He has gone to my doctor appt with me but one time when I mentioned couples therepy I thought he was going to shoot daggers at me through his eyes. I have an appt with a counselor next week so I am going to talk with her and maybe be able to get him to come.

9

Bonita, It may be of great help to you, even if he will not go. I went to a Psychologist for a couple of years after the last car accident, which kicked all of this into high gear. She is a super great lady, who taught me so very much, she helped me get through PTSD from the wreck, got me back behind the wheel, she helped me through chronic pain, we spent hours talking about others not understanding. She helped me become a more resilient person.

10

Patty,

I am so sorry that you are going through this. He’ll, I am sorry anybody has to go through this. And yes, your home should be the one place that you feel safe. A little disclaimer before I go on- I am in no way taking sides or defending your husband.

Living with a chronic illness can be hell at times. Living with an “invisible” chronic illness can be hell x 1000. Speaking from personal experience and relying on what others have said about living with fibro and other chronic illnesses, I can say that there will be good days, okay days, bad days and "shoot me and put me out of my misery " days. On the shoot me days, lay in bed and read, watch movies on your iPad (if you have one) or simply lay there and think good thoughts. And, as always, sleep if you can. On the bad days, do something that does not cause too much strain on your body, su ch as needlepoint. On the so so days, get up and move around. Work outside in your garden a little or anything that gets you moving but isn’t too stressful. On the good days, go grocery shopping, to the mall, to a movie, whatever you enjoy, but be careful not to overdo it.

Two things to do every day unless you just absolutely can’t.

  1. Get moving. Walk outside, even if its just for 5-10 minutes. Ride your bike. Swim. (Some type of aerobic exercise) Do yoga or Pilates for a few minutes (you can find free videos that teach each one and that take you through a workout on YouTube- thanks Lauraflora for letting me in on this). Aerobic exercise will not only make you feel better and help with the pain (even if causes some pain while you are doing it), it will help keep your heart, lungs, etc. healthy and will help to control your weight (for those of us with weight issues). I have found that since I have been walking every day(mostly- i sometimes miss a day), I do,feel somewhat better, especially mentally. My color is better and I feel stronger. My appetite is better but I could have done without that. LOL. I already love to eat and my belly and thighs show it. Bleh!

  2. Think of at least one thing you are grateful for every day. Try not to repeat them day to day but if you do, that’s okay. Some days you may only be able to come up with one. Some dys more. But if you do this every day, it will get easier to think of more and more things.

About the husband- this is such a common lament from people living with chronic illness. I am not defending or justifying anyone or their.behavior but one thing to think about is, if you don’t understand the illness that you have, how can your hubby? And if you can’t explain it to yourself and if no doctor can adequately explain it (just my opinion but I don’t believe they can), how can you or anyone else possibly explain it to him? I know doctors can give explanations and explain how it works to some extent and how it affects us, but any explanation is going to be theoretical (for lack of a better word) because you can not see fibro. And many, if not most, people have a hard time understanding something they can’t see. So that is taking a toll on him emotionally and mentally. And guys are fixers- they see a problem and want to fix it or have it fixed and it is driving them nuts that they can’t fix this so they retreat, become irritable, angry, etc. in my family, there is the added strain of a financial burden. I can’t work, I have just applied for disability and my husband is underemployed and unable to find a better job right now. And I have thousands of dollars in medical bills from a recent major surgery. My hubby tries hard to be supportive but he feels helpless because he can’t “fix” me. A couple of sessions with my counselor helped, and he goes to every doctor appointment that he can manage. But he still has bad days too.

Men need to be “stroked.” (Not like that Petunia- stop being so dirty minded! LOL) they want to hear that they did a good job when they wiped off the counters, they want to be thanked when they empty the waste baskets in the bathrooms, and they want to be fawned over when they vacuum the floor. And they want to be fussed over when they vacuum. And watch out if they don’t feel good- a simple cold will put them down for days (and then we feel like putting them down- LOL). And sure, they will feel anger and resentment. That’s normal and natural. Always tell your hubby thank you, even for the littlest things. Tell him you love him even when he is being unlovable. Give him a kiss when you walk by. Men thrive on stuff like that.

I think the best thing for you to do (this is just my opinion) is to sit down and have a discussion with him about the things he is doing. He may not even realize it. Men are like children in that they act out their feelings instead of talking. Tell him that he is pointing out to you that the toilet is a little dirty and how that makes you feel, tell him that you believe that he just wants to leave and can’t tell you so he is acting out. I know how incredibly difficult this type of conversation can be and how scary. The way I start one of these with my husband is this: “honey, I want to talk to you and you are going to listen until I have said everything I need to say. Then its your turn and we can talk more about it.” That way you get it all out and don’t get flustered when he tries to interject or argue. And I have been known to have bullet points on a little scrap of paper so I don’t forget anything. And be calm and even toned when you talk. All of this is so incredibly hard to do but with practice, it gets easier.

I am sorry that I am rambling but this is a subject near and dear to my heart and, I am sure, to most other people on this site.

So, lucky you, my wrists hurt and I can’t type anymore. LOL I hope that you are able to. Get some peace in your life. That is so important to us fibro sufferers. And I hope that you and your hubby can work things out.

Hugs.

11

Bonita,

My heart hurt while reading your eloquent cry of the pain you're going through. I so wish there was something anyone could do for you.

You don't say, do you have family or a really close friend whose hands you could hold? I ask because I lived through a situation frighteningly like yours for many years and the total isolation imposed upon me was as debilitating as my, (un-diagnosed, at that time) Fibro. In my case, it netted me a whopping case of PTSD on top of everything else. I don't want anyone to have to suffer the abuse you're going through.

If your husband won't go to couples' therapy with you, please consider seeing a therapist for your self and joining a group for abused women.

Yes. I know that sounds drastic, and you probably don't think the relationship IS abusive, but it is. And, you've internalized it to such a point that you're telling us it's all your (or at least your Fibro's) fault.

I really wish I didn't feel so strongly compelled to say this to you! Please, puleeeze know it is genuine, deep concern for you that prompts my words.

You have my thoughts, hopes and prayers for brighter days

Suz

12

Thank you everyone for your support. It is truly the only place I can go where everyone knows and can relate to what I am talking about. I have family that supports me but they do not live in this state. My parents understand that I am ill but they are in their 80's and are starting to have health issues of their own so I don't want to stress them talking about my issues. My daughter has come to understand since she got older, 20, but again she does not live close by. I don't like talking to her about my personal issues because she tends to be very protective of me which is great but if she hears someone in my life isn't doing right by me she will dislike them for a very long time, even after the issues have been worked out. I do not have any friends here mainly by choice. I had a lot of friends BF (before fibro) some that were very good friends. Over time they have all gone away. We all know how that is. No one wants to be around someone that is sick all the time. Even if they don't complain about it but its difficult on the friends when we have to constantly cancel out of plans because we don't feel well.

MBP, I agree with you completely. We have gone through the trying to understand part. He finally understood that this is something that CAN'T be understood. We went through the "you can't FIX this" part and we both understand that is very frustrating for him to not be able to fix it but we deal with that. As far as him doing some of the household chores, I am and always have been vocal about my appreciation when he does do them. I am always telling him how much I appreciate all he does for me. The hard work he does at his job so we can have a good life and good medical insurance. I honestly do. I never snap at or act grouchy to anyone when I am having a bad day. I am just quiet and tell them, I am not feeling good today. I have never been one to take out my bad feelings on someone else whether it was the pain of fibro or PMS or anything. I just don't do it. But I am going to start. When he is in a mood, and he is the moodiest man I have ever met, I get the brunt of it. When his daughter is PMSing she takes it out on EVERYONE. Her dad told me to beware of it when she first came to live with us and her mother even called me to warn me. I just laughed it off but inside I thought well, the only reason she is bitchy to everyone is because you LET her. Anyway, I figure why should I take the brunt of everyone else's bad mood when they don't have anywhere near the painful reasons I HAVE to be moody and I don't take it out on them.

We sat down just about two weeks ago and talked all of this out. I told him everything I mentioned in my post. There was no yelling or blaming just a candid talk. One thing I forgot to mention in my post that was really the catalyst of the straw on the camels back was that in the middle of the night he snores loud enough to wake the neighbors! LOL He also has apnea so at times he snorts really loud catching his breath and of course it startles the crap out of me. I would nudge him and he would roll over and it wasn't an issue. Well in the last couple of months when ever he would snore too loud or do his apnea thing and I would nudge him he would yell and curse at me for waking him up even though he would turn over and go right back to sleep. The first couple of times I just blew it off but finally a couple of weeks ago when he got especially ugly towards me I had enough. So thats when I brought up the talk about all the things he was doing that hurt me. He tried to defend himself about waking him up at night saying he can't help what he does after being woken up. But I explained to him that for 2 years he never, ever even grumped at me about it and all of a sudden it was ok for him to curse at me. That was what bothered me the most, not the cursing, but that in his mind it was OK for him to talk to me that way. He apologized and seemed to understand what I was saying and agreed that by him acting frustrated and making negative comments around his daughter made it ok for her to talk negative about me to others. He really did seem to get it. Then two nights ago he came home all butt hurt because he had to stop and pick up scripts and hamburgers.

I know I am rambling on. I really appreciate you all allowing me the place to ramble and get it out of my system without judgement. For the first time my feelings aren't "hurt". I am pissed! If I had cancer and was weak from chemo I can be sure he wouldn't be grumping about picking up scripts or that his uniforms weren't washed. (sigh) Ok, I'm done ranting. :o) Thank you for understanding.

13

Ya know, Bonita, we are very often tuck between a rock and a hard place. My husband and I both worked at demanding jobs and my hours were often onager than his. Before we moved here, my hubby liked to go to the pool on the weekends so I would get up, walk the dog, run the errands and come back to wake him up at about 10. That was my weekend. No break from work- just different kinds of work. And he would call me when I was on my way home after working late and think nothing of asking me to stop at the store because he didn’t bother on his way home and didn’t feel like getting back out and driving ALL the way to the store (about 2 miles). I got to the point where when he would call and ask me where I was , I would tell him I was past the shopping center so he would say never mind. If he wanted something bad enough he could get up off his last ass and go get it or it would just have to wait.

Since we moved here, I have not worked due to not being able to find work and then because of being sick. Before I got really sick, I did EVERYTHING inside and outside. He would occasionally help with the yard work if his shoulder didn’t hurt or his feet didn’t hurt or his … didn’t hurt. I got so sick of hearing it especially when he was never really injured. And this past summer, he did not work in the yard once. I either did it with his mom helping me or a friend came and did it. And in May, his mom and I took down the wallpaper in our hallway and bathrooms with the intention of painting them. They stayed that way for a while until I found out I had a tumor in my esophagus, was going to have major surgery and my mom was coming. So, again, he literally sat on his ass watching tv while his mom and I sanded and painted and cleaned. Everyday I would go to bed so tired that i could barely remember my name or what I did that day. His response was not to pitch in and help, it was to tell me not to overdo it. I felt like killing him. I was actually looking forward to going in the hospital so I could get some good rest, and good meds! LOL

Ok, about the sleep apnea thing. My hubby has it too and you can hear him snoring throughout the whole house. He does have a CPAP but he knocks it off during the night or he sometimes falls asleep in his recliner without his CPAP machine. We do not sleep together anymore. With his apnea and my insomnia issues, we were both miserable. You can partake in lovemaking, sex, whoopie, whatever you call it, any time and anywhere (not that it happens very often in this house) so sleeping in separate rooms allows us both to sleep without botherin the other one and making everybody miserable.

I admire you for not taking your frustrations out on others. I try my best but it just comes out sometimes, more often than I want. Everybody is different but my tactic lately is just to ignore my hubby when he is making me mad or pissing me off. I just walk away and let him stew in his own juices. It doesn’t do me any good to argue with him because he is ALWAYS right (wish I was that smart- LOL).

Not I am ranting and raving. I hope that y’all can come to some happy medium and that you are able to get treatment that will make all this moot because you will be perfectly healthy and back to your “normal” life. Chin up, girl, and have a great weekend.

14

HI AKBONITA YES THEY DO I WISH RHE TECHNOLOGY EXSISTED FOR THEM TO TRADE PKACES WITH US FOR 1 DAY THEYD UNDWRSTAND WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE US AND THEYD BE THE ONES EXPLAINING THE SITUATION TO IRHERS WHO MAY OR MAY NOT CHOOSE TO TRY TO UNDERSTAND LET ME KNIW GANG WHEN IT EXSISTS

15

Patty, ma dear,

I've been wondering (and, yes, worrying a little bit) how you're doing.

You mentioned that you're "Mad as hell and not going to take this any longer!" Good. It's time you asserted yourself - just be careful to pick your battles so you don't make this very touchy situation more tense.

Do know your "team" is pulling for you.

Warm fuzzies

Suz

16

MB, It has been awhile since I have been on this site. I just returned and reread all these posts. I hope this finds you doing better, feeling better. I just thought you might be interested in how all that played out. I just recently left him. Things didn't get better as a matter of fact things got worse and worse to the point he started getting physical with me. That was when I left him. Now he is angry at me for leaving him and he is doing everything he possibly can to hurt me and make my life miserable. This I truly don't understand because he was so miserable with me I would think he would be relieved to not have to deal with me or be "responsible" for me. But I have to say that even though I have no money, no income, no vehicle and no transportation I am happier to be out of that situation. It isn't because of the physical part because he never actually "hurt" me, yet. I left before he could. But the mental abuse was by far the worst. I am fairly sure I some form of PTSD because of him (and others from my past) so I am going to get some help with that. But I also have come to realize that I cannot, nor do I want to be, in a relationship with anyone. I can have good friends, date, etc. but I will never 'GOD AS MY WITNESS!' (while staring up at the sky shaking my fist) LOL, I will never put myself in that position again. I will never live with a man or get married because it ALWAYS turns out the same. And that's okay. I'm okay with being by myself. I prefer it actually. That way I never have to worry about letting anyone down. I only have to be responsible for myself and I only have to do what I can when I can.

I appreciate you being there for me. I will try not to be a stranger on here anymore. Everyone is so helpful and appreciated.

Patty

17

Mama Suz,

I am sorry I didn't reply to you last December. I was under so much anxiety my doctor put me on some strong medication but it took awhile for them to work so I kinda hid in a corner, so to speak.

I just read your comments and it brought me to tears. Your words were so very kind. And you were so very right!! Things continued to get worse and worse until it started to become physical. The moment he laid his hands on me I left him. This was actually only 3 weeks ago. He is trying to make my life miserable by making sure I have no money, no vehicle, no income and if it were up to him no medical insurance. But then he sends me texts and emails telling me how much he loves me. Whatever. I now realize I too believe I have some form of PTSD because of this situation and others in my past. But regardless of this I am for the first time in a LONG while happy. At least mentally. I feel relief by being out of that situation and will never again allow myself to get into that kind of situation again. I now realize that I am best not being in a relationship. That way I never have to worry about not being or doing what someone else expects of me. And I'm good with that. I do just fine by myself.

I'm sorry if I worried you all this time. But I'm okay now, just need to figure a way to get on my feet. And I will try to not be such a stranger on here again. Everyone on here is so helpful and caring.

I hope this finds you doing well and feeling well.

Thank you again for your support,

Patty

18

HI AKABONITA ITS SUZYQ SORRY GANG I HAVNT BEEN ONLINE SINCE JULY.17 IVE HWD PROBLEMS WITH THE WIFI PASSWORD I RECEIVED MY DISABILITY SSI AND BWCKPAY I RETIRED AUGUST 31 THEY HAD A RETIREMENT PARTY FOR ME AT WORK. AUGUST 28TH IT WAS LIKE A BRIDAL SHOWER WITHOUT THE PARTY GAMES WE MOVED HEIDI MY DOG AND ME LAST FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 13TH 2 FRIENDS CAME AT 9 PM AFTER DAD LEFT FOR COFFEE THE 3 OF US PACKED EVERYTHING IN A PICKUP TRUCK AND A CAR WE LEFT AT 9:38AM WHEN OUR NEW LIFE BEGAN ITS BEEN HAPPY BUSY DAYS UNTIL THIS AFTERNOON I WAS IN THE OTHER ROOM SOMEONE KNOCKED ON THE SLIDING GLASS DOOR IT WAS HIM DAD I SAIS TO HIM HOW DID YOU FIND OUT WHERE I LIVE HE SAID I WENT INTO THE OFFICE AND ASKED THEY TOLD ME ITS AN APARTMENT BUILDING I TOLD MY SISTERS THEY KNEW BUT WHEN I SIGNED THE LEASR I WAS TOLD OF EOMEONE CALLED OR CAME IN AND ASKED IF I LIVED HERE THEY WOULD BE TOLD YES BUT NOT THE APARTMEN5 NUMBER HE KNOWS ONE OF THE MAINTENANCE MEN NOT SURE WHICH ONE BUT THEYRE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL MAYBE THE SISTERS TOLD HIM HE SND MY SISTER BETH ARE GUARDIANS BRCAUSE OF THE FIBRO BUT I THINK IF SHE BETH THE SISTER KNOWS HE DOESNT HAVE TO IF HE WANTS TO CALL EMAIL OR TEXT THATS FINE BUT I DONT THINK HE SHOULS COME AND VJDIT HE CSME IN HEIDI THE DOG WAS EXCITED TO SEE HIM HE DOESNT LIKE IT WHEN SHES EXCITED SHE WAS L6ING ON AND HE WAS SITTING ON THE LOVESEAT HE HAD HIS HAND ON HER NECK AND KEPT SAYING NO SETTLE DOWN I THOUGHT THIS IS OUR HOME MY NAMES ON THE LEASE I PAY THE BILLS EHEN OTHER PEOPLE COME TO VISIT IF SHE DOES SOMETHING I DONT LIKE I CORRECT HER THATS WHY WE MOVED WE HAD TO WATCH WHAT WE SAID AND DID BECAUSE IT WAS HIS HOUSE HE PAYED THE BILLS O DIDNT SAY ANYTYING BUT I WAS WATCHING IF HE TRIED TO HURT HER ID SAY WHEN OTHERS COME AND SHE DOES SOMETHING I DONT LIKE THEY LET ME CORRECT HER WE WERE READY TO GO OUT BUT I SAID HEIDI WELL GO OUT BUT I DOJT LEAVE THE HOUSE UNLOCKED WHEN ALL3 OF US LEAVE TOGETHER THEN WELL LEAVE AND ILL LOCK THE DOOR IT SEEMED LIKE FOREVER BUT HE FINALLY LEFT WE WALKED TO THR OTHER SIDE OF THE BUILDING TURNED STOUND HEADED HOME HE WAS FINSLLY LEAVING HE SAID TO HEIDI WOULD YOUNLIKE A RIDE I SAID NO THANK YOU SHRS HAD A RIDE TODAY AND WE LEFT I DUPPOSE HELL GO BACK TO HIS HOUSE SND CALL THE GIRLFRIEND AND TELL HER IVR ONLY BERN HERE 5 DAYS THE PLACE DOESNT LOOK LIKE I WSNT IT THE TSBLES HAVE TO BE ASSEMBLED DVD CONNECTED STEREO SYSTEM INSTALLLED NAILS PUT IN AND PICTURES HUNG UP YOU ALL KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE I BOUGHT A DIGITAL CAMERA TO TSKE POCTURES AND SEND TO AUNT LNDA BETH AND CARA THE DIDTERS BEFORE AND AFTER PICTURES PLUS THE APARTMENT BUILDING SAY PRAYERS GANG HE DOESNT COME BWCK HAVE A GOOD EVENING EVERYONE TSLK TO YOU TOMORROW