Is it just me or does anyone else get mad at them self when they push them self beyond what they know they can manage ? I’m suffering because I spent Saturday with friends, lunch & the casino then Sunday a tree farm in the freezing cold , did a lot of walking & I knew when I was in horrible pain I should stop … But that would have meant not seeing my son cut down his first tree with his girlfriend or my daughter getting her first live tree with her husband and son. I would normally not schedule two big days in a row, but I just didn’t want to miss either thing so I pushed… I maybe should not have gone to the casino after lunch since i was already having to push through the pain just being at the lunch, & I knew Sunday at the tree farm would be hard. So now I’m just so mad at my self because the pain is off the chart.
& as much as I sit here and try to rationalize my participation the increase in pain makes me fearful for future activities , and I’m mad at myself because I should have known better.
I am so grateful to have been able to even go, but I really had to push myself because of the fear of the consequences , so now I’ll pay that big price !
I guess my limits are being redefined …and they say fibro is not progressive … Ha … NOT !
A friendly reminder … Take it easy and know your limits, it’s easy to loose sight of that during the holiday
Hugs & blessings
dee B
Dee, I think it must be progressive too. I used to function with this 'syndrome' so much better than I do now. I'm not employed anymore. Yesterday I managed to get to the store, finish the tree, haul some firewood, put birdseed in the birdfeeder, load 40 lb bags of salt into the water treatment system; and this morning I woke up and knew I was paying for my activities of yesterday. :( Low key day today. Gentle hugs! Michelle C
I'm sorry for your off-the-charts pain and flare and I completely believe that it's beyond your usual fibro pain and that fibro is progressive. And yet, how can I fault you for going out for such memory-making moments? Dee, you could have ended up in this much pain by going outside and doing something banal. At least you'll have some memories to cherish, although they'll be wrapped in fibro fog and pain. And girl, I am JEALOUS that you had two days of spectacular fun and family and friendship! Good for you! Why should you feel regret and guilt and anger for doing normal and beautiful things? If you're to be mad, be mad at the FIBRO for making these moments so rare, dang it!
Oh my gosh!!!! I don't know how you did all of that Michelle, but good for you! And I think that anyone who is on here can attest, fibro IS progressive. Last winter I was still working part-time, delivering meals to the elderly, doing a lot of stairs and walking and hauling of stuff. I cannot imagine doing that as I am today. I can barely carry a few bags of groceries up the steps and can no longer walk very far at all. Does anyone else have walking issues, I wonder?
Oh dee B, I'm SO with you!! I hate, absolutely hate, missing out on life and having to chose what I participate in and what I will forego. I've been over doing it too - my anxiety makes me totally type A and I can't sit down...and then I crash so hard! Have to be careful - I've had a few rare times I literally couldn't feed myself. Horrid!! So, I'm much more careful now, but this anxiety gets me all antsy and it's hard to just rest like I need to. Blah!
And Fibro is SO progressive!! It may not kill me, but every year I've had it my pain has gotten worse and the more symptoms I have. At first my tender points hurt, but they didn't send my into a clench jaw fight off tears. Now I have trigger point so painful if my husband tries to help me up and down I can end up in screaming amounts of pain. Or I barely scratch an itch and flaming pain rises to the surface and it can take a little while for it to resend again.
Ugh, ugh, ugh! So not fun!! Hope you recover quickly and are better able to remember your limits and enjoy as much as the holidays as possible!!
I have decided that there are some things that I really don't want to miss so I push through knowing that I will pay the price. Now that you are paying the price just remember all the things that you did and how much joy they brought you. Yes, I too have found that going out two days in a row is not wise, but life sometimes hurls these things at us and we always have to weigh the price. Is it worth it?
Sometimes we have a bad pain day and we have not done anything unusual. If you had been "sensible" and stayed home cancelling one day's activities and had a pain flare I think you might have said to yourself, "Why didn't I go to these activities? The payback pain couldn't have been any worse!! The pain will settle down in its own time and you will have those lovely memories forever.
Thank you all for reading my rant …Rachel your right My pain is a bit better today, but I did have to double up on pain meds which Iv never had to do before , Im not regretting it as much tonight, but I did experience a level of pain that really scared me, wow !! It brought me to tears… Not nice
I’m glad I got to do what I did , but I’m certainly going to pay a bit more attention to my limits & I remember the last time I went to the casino with this group of friends I was in pain for days after, so I’m wondering if the lights and dinging of the machines sets off the flare… Then I walked in the cold the following day, so the two together were just a horrible combination.
Hugs & blessings
dee B
My biggest problem is over doing all the time. I pushed so hard I had to stop work and thought it would be better I just changed one thing for another. I stay so fatigued all the time.
I do this a lot. I think it helps though if friends and family can understand that you can do it as long as they can help you balance with rest breaks in between. Or maybe a sleep day on Monday if you don't have to work? Does that help? It is hard though to balance when there is so much to choose from and people don't always understand a need to choose. They get upset. I think the Sunday tree day was so much more important that the casino in terms of long term memories if you had to choose or maybe a nap between lunch and casino? I hope you are able to rest to enjoy the rest of the holidays. Always a hard time to push through the symptoms. And you are right you may have had sensory overload.
Oh, Dee. I know exactly what you mean. I know each function has to be weighed out so carefully, but I have decided to push. If I do not push I will miss what little I have left of family. I'm 55 and feel 75. Yesterday I cancelled a girl date at the last minute because I didn't feel well. I could have gone if I pushed, but did not want to use that energy for that particular function. I have Christmas shopping and wrapping to do and everything else that comes with Christmas. I love my girlfriends, but I really am pushing for family Christmas time right now. I am using my energy and energy I don't have (pushing hard some days) so I can be with and enjoy family. Yes, it requires planning in plenty of recovery time. But, I say push. It's the only chance I have at a real life. Even if it's just little crumbles. And my limits are being redefined too.
I have to make sure that I said I am clearly allowing recovery time along with my over doer days.
Three days ago one of our outside pipes froze and burst even though it was covered. Our basement flooded. I was down there with my husband and brooms pushing this standing water out the basement door (which created a skating rink outside). It hurt like mad and I really don't know what kept me going. Love for my man, I guess. This was after I came home from a really long and successful shopping day. I knew I was going to pay big time. I am home and in my recliner still. Sometimes we can't avoid over doing it.
Dee, I wish you such good things. I know you don't want to miss out on these special milestones with your loved ones. I don't either. You take care and weigh each thing out.
Thank you all for your responses !!!
I feel the love and Its so helpful to know you all understand
It’s Thursday and my pain is gradually returning to its normal level
It’s so crazy that we have to pick and choose how we use our very limited energy, I guess it is a balancing act and a management skill
Hugs & blessings
dee B
I do the same , if I have a day im managing I thow myself into everything , thinking I can do this ! then within a few hours , HERE WE GO AGAIN ! fatigue is crippling , legs pain and go crazy , arms , wrists all kick off to. but like you say because its Christmas we must tc care .
I to from last year being diagnosed have become much worse ! maybe still trying to understand whats happened to such a fit person , to what iam now . that's probably why I push hard but IT wins in the end . FOR NOW !!
Hi Dee, not sure who “they” are that think fibro isn,t progressive, similar to the 'they" that think weather doesn’t affect fibro patients; obviously not patients.
I try not to feel guilty or regret it when I push myself past my limits, but I do try to plan it so I can rest afterwards. Life is for the living (although some times we may wish we weren’t) and sometimes you just need to go for it. I always try to rationalize it during payback by thinking who knows maybe I would have had a flare anyways. I’m sitting here hurting pretty bad because I went to the gym today for over an hour and a half. Now I have to go out with my husband for his doctor’s appointment. I am still glad I went this morning, made the pain a lot worse, but helped a lot with my depression. Darned if we don’t, or darned if we do.
I’m sorry you had major payback, but expect the memories will be there longer than the pain. Hope you’re feeling better now.
I know exactly what you mean. I end up doing things I know I shouldn’t-like going sledding after having a big day the day before. I sometimes think I am punishing myself, but for what? I am still in this mode where I want to do what I could before even though I know I can’t. I hate it. Did I say that already? I am so tired of feeling like I have been run over by a stampede of football players. Yuck
I know exactly what you mean. My husband is a pastor, and over Christmas its gets very busy with socials, decorating, Christmas Programs... All of this finally ended on the 16th of Dec. I had been pushing myself like crazy. I paid for it for the next entire week!! was in the bed for several days.
And I get so frustrated with people when I can't make an engagement and they tell me, "you just got to push yourself"... they have no idea!
and Its so helpful to know you all understand