Hello, I am a mother of a 2 and 3 year old and my fibro seams to be getting worse. I have my kids 24/7 because of my husbands crazy work schedule, he is currently working 12 hours a day 6 days a week on night shift so the one day he does have off he is sleeping. I don't have a good support system and my parents don't seam to care much about my pain. Yesterday was one of the worst fibro days I have probably ever had and I was almost waiting for it cause it has been getting worse and worse lately. I push through and do what I need to to but my skin even hurt today. My husband knew but there was nothing he could. I am currently taking savella but it does not seam to be working any more and I know I need to go to the doctor but I am not looking forward to it cause my regular doctor has had to leave the practice and I have never delt with her partner for my fibro before. Please, any advice is welcome. Thanks for listening.
I'm so sorry hun, my fibro fog is awful right now, and major face and head pain; so as much as i would love to come up with some insightful advise for you, i just can't.
But i felt i had to reply, just so you know your not suffering in pain alone.
It must be very hard for you with 2 little ones. I really struggle myself and the most i have to look after is my cat! (saying that he is disabled, but that's not the point!)
Like i said i can't say or do anything, as i'm not good either... but send me a pm ANY TIME you need to vent or whatever. Keep fighting hun x
Rebecca,
I am sorry you are hurting so badly. My husband also works a crazy shift, very similiar to yours. I don't have any pearls of wisdom for you, but know that you have company in your misery :/ Hang in there, especially having two little ones. They love you dearly, and you could recruit them to help you with housework (long socks on their hands for dusting, helping you carry things, helping to set the table). Good luck with your appointment with a new doctor. It could be just what you need. Feel better.
So sorry you are in this much pain. I think we all have been to that breaking point at one time or another. I wish I had good enough advice for you besides my usual advice and words of motivation to myself. I constantly remind myself that those before me lived through worse medical condition.s and made it leaving me to have no choice but to prove to myself that I can handle this…you can handle it. It hurts and I kno…its so unfair what we go through but I sometimes feel special…I’m part of a breed of strong willed people who fight everyday to do basic functions that those unlike are blessed to experience without pain. Gentle hugs to you my friend. I know ur pain…I just scratched an itch and my ARM still hurts…I’m in so much pain but the day must go on. Stay strong…
Thanks everyone, just knowing I'm not alone does help. Thanks again and gentle hugs to all of you.
Rebecca,
I can't imagine taking care of little kids with FM! I struggle taking care of myself when I have a flareup and it's hard to even care for 3 cats sometimes. I am also having a bad flareup now and I feel pretty crappy but it's good to know that I am not alone - which I used to think all the time since I didn't know anyone else with FM around me. I joined this group because there's no support group in my city (I don't know why).
Not getting support from your family members is very tough. My family doesn't understand my FM, either. They simply try to ignore or think my symptoms are peri-menopausal. No one understands your pain unless they are in your body! We can't really expect healthy people to understand it. People here do understand, though! I know it's not the same as getting support from family but it's something!
i really feel for you. i am single and have no kids but i do watch my sisters 3 a few days a week. if i were u i would think about switching meds. i am on cymbalta it works ok. but there is also lyrica u need to go to the new dr and ask about switching and which med might b better for u. i know lyrica has a lot of side effects but try not to focus on that because not every one will react the same to it. i have heard lyrica working in as little as two weeks. try taking warm baths that can really help. try not to over do it with your kids. dont feel like u have to take them to the park just cause it is nice out. do b afraid to let the watch tv so u can rest on the couch for a litte while. break up your house work dont do more the 15 to 20 minutes of cleaning at a time. with school getting out in just a coulpe weeks consider having a mothers helper come over to play with the kids so u can rest. i used to help moms in my church before i was old enough to babysit. u would b amazed at what a 10 year old can do with kids. and because of their age u dont have to pay as much as u would a babysitter or part time nanny. if u can afford a nanny a few days a week that would b great too. do what ever u have too not to wear yourself out. that only makes the fibro worse. u might also consider a maid u dont have to have them come weekly u can do twice a month to do things that r hard for u and to give u a break on cleaning. try to find play groups for your little ones so they can tire out while u sit and chat with other moms. i used to work full time as a nanny and before that in a daycare. and as an aunt of 15 i know a lot about kids and how much work they can b. in the last two years i have been unable to work other than helping with my sistets kids ages 12,8,5. they may b older but they r all boys and the younger two love to fight. some days i have them up to 8 hours it can b rough. the oldest helps but i still have to make dinner and some nights its what ever can just go in the oven like pizza, chicken nuggets and fries, the frozen family dinners. my sister understands that some nights even making spegetti is too much.
i think the best advice is to ask for help. dont feel like u r lazy you r not! i hope your dr visit goes well. hugs to u. good luck and best wishs.
Hang in there… You have a tough situation for sure. The support of a sitter even for a few hours might give you a chance to decompress, get a massage or take a hot bath, and catch up on sleep. Also sounds like you need to switch meds - can you get a break for a dr appointment?
I have to ask, can your husband rework his schedule so it is closer to an 8hour day? It might give both of you relief.
Wish you the best - you are in a tough spot. XX
Again thanks everyone for all the advice. Unfortunatly my husband cannot rework his scheule and it looks like this is going to be an all year thing with them switching month to month from nights to days. I don't know how to go about finding a babysitter. All of my neices are younger and I don't know of anyone else. My mom will watch them occasionaly but but babysits my sisters kids while my sister works, so I don't ask her too much. I have been on a lot of differant meds before I found the Savella and it hasn't even worked for a whole year. Warm baths always help till I have to get out LOL but with my kids kinda sucks cause I have to wait till they are asleep or they keep getting out of bed to come see me. I don't dare talk to my mom about it or ask for help cause all I've ever gootten back from her is that I am too young for all this pain 'stuff' and that she did it with 3 kids or that's part of being a mom and I'm tired of hearing it from her and she just doesn't understand. My great Aunt in Indiana also has it but I don't really call her because we both always break down in tears. I have been considering lately writing my mom a letter but I don't know how much it would accomplish and for how long. Plus I don't know what to say. Thanks again and gentle hugs all around
Can I ask what line of work your husband is in? I’m wondering if there are other moms who are in need of a break and would help out.
I wish you only the best! XX
He is the supervisor of a paving stone plant. Most of the other wives work from what I know.
Hi Rebecca. I am a mother of 2 as well. I have a 4 year old and 7 year old (girls). My husband is a painter and currently works nights. I have no family close and little support. Some days I feel like I am absolutely worthless. The most I can do is get my girls ready for school and send them off. I found a place through my local park district that has drop off childcare, so when I'm having a bad day, I take my 4 year old there while my 7 year old is in school. I also have a list of babysitters from the local college that will come on short notice. That is about all I can afford. I have tried hiring help for the house, laundry, etc, but my husband always talks me into letting them go because we can't afford it.
I have been to MANY doctors. I started off with Endometriosis, then a very painful hysterectomy, and now am daignosed with Fibromyalgia. It has been the hardest 2 years of my life. Before all this, I was a very active mom. My girls are amazing. It kills me when they come home from school and I am in bed. My husband is getting better about helping out, but he will never be able to do what I do as a mother.
The only thing I can focus on is getting better. I let myself take breaks sometimes, like, last December, I refused to go to any doctors or change anything I was doing. Then, I continued on my path to find a Doctor to help me. I found a decent Rheumatologist and am now seeing a nice Psychiatrist to help with my severe depression and fatigue. I am doing okay. Mostly, I feel as if I am just surviving. But, I refuse to give up. There has to be more I can do. I find that massage therapy, gentle chiropractic and acupuncture work best for me, but my insurance is not paying much anymore, so I try to space it out.
As far as medications, I have tried a LOT. I am very sensitive and have a high tolerance. My PCP keeps me on Butrans 20 ml Patch. It take enough of the edge off of the pain, that I can function when I am not in a bad flare. I have been on it for about a year and have not built a tolerance to it so far. Though, I do wish there were something that could help the pain I have when I am flaring. Hot baths, gentle stretching. I also take Flexeril as needed, I save it for mornings when I can barely move and I have to get out of bed to take care of my kids. I try not to take anything at night to sleep since my husband is working and I am the only one in the house with my girls. But, I do take Klonopin .5 to help sleep sometimes. My psychiatrist has me on a new med for depression, Viibryd, It seems to help a bit. ALso, started Adderall XR 20mg for energy and fibro fog. Helps but does not last long. ABout 2-3 hours. I think it;s suppose to last all day.
I'm not sure what us mothers are suppose to do. I never thought I would be sick like this when I thought of being a mom. I wanted nothing more. I was good at it too. Now, I feel like a failure. I am so tired and in so much pain that I do and say things I would never have before. It's not fair to my children. They have been robbed. I am still trying to wrap my head around it.
Gentle hugs--I can't write anymore--it's so overwhelming sometimes....