Hi guys, I was wondering how many of you have bottled up your feeling, emotional feelings, for most of your life.? How many of us have not been good at expressing your feelings?. How many of you put others before yourself.?
Hi Cindi, yes I sure have kept my feelings under rap, people get tired of hearing how I feel so my usual response is "better" , nobody evers questions that. But I know some are genuine and really want to know but... I think when we have put the shield up for so long it is hard to break
I will wait in line for the longest time and let ppl with more items go first forever,but recently I have found myself a bit abrupt cause I do not know how long I will be able to stand there. Oh well I am rattling on again, I know it is ok but I tend to get of the subject so often. It is 2am here and I am still wide awake, and have tried to sleep twice.
Happy New Year to you and yours
GentleHugs
Vicky
Cindi, I just had a fight with my hubby because of this very same issue. He accidentally (yeah right) saw an email I had sent to a friend venting. I asked him if he really wanted me to vent on him and he said yes so I let it fly. Well, now I am an ungrateful bitch who doesn’t appreciate all the sacrifices he has made for me. Huh? I gave up my job and my family to move here for his family. I am the one who is sick and was out mowing the yard two days before my recent surgery because he is too damn lazy to do it himself and … I could go on and on. So now he is talking about quitting his job because he hates it and the only reason he stays is so I can have insurance. I feel like screaming! Sorry, just had to vent. I am going to go have my five minute pity party, then get up, brush myself off and keep on going.
Well, he is already apologizing. And I know he has a lot going on inside him but damn, take it out on the crap in the back yard that needs to be cut down. Go back there and chop away.
And I don’t allow myself more than a five minute pity party. It is counterproductive and just tends to drag me down. I don’t want to be down- I want to be up and I want to appreciate everything I have, a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in my belly, family that loves me, my sweet babies, etc.
Hi MB , I’m sorry you had a fight with your hubby, I do believe most men are narsacistic and they just don’t have the ability to understand some things, just my own thought, there are some that can have empathy, but I think it’s rare.
From my experience they are like children that need direction , but their Ego gets in the way…
I’m glad he apologized, tell him he owes you a nice back rub !!! Lol
Hugs & blessings
Hi Cindi, I am for sure guilty of bottled up feelings& emotions, and have always put everyone ( especially my kids) before myself. I have to say though this past year I am learning if I don’t put myself first I will suffer, so fibro has kinda forced me to put myself first. I’m just learning & wishing I had done it 20 years ago .
Hugs & blessing
It is so very difficult for me to nput myself first. I have been trying lately and I think that is a large part of why my husband is upset with me. He doesn’t understand why I can do some stuff and then not want to do something else the same day. I gave him The Spoon Theory to read and that makes him a tad more understanding for a day or two. I don’t think there is a good answer to all this. We are all human and we are all governed (to some extent at least) to how we were raised and the environment(s) we have lived in. We all have free will, however, and the ability to control our own actions. And I am rambling so sorry. Hope you got the drift.
Hi Cindi, as a child I remember being told constantly to "snap out of it" whenever I was depressed, which was often especially in my teens, then when I would try to talk to my friends they would tell me I had nothing to complain about as their lives were so much worse. So I learned pretty early on to stop complaining about my problems to others and now I have a really hard time opening up to anyone. I will always make sure that everyone else is happy or comfortable or content with whatever before I think of myself. I have dealt with some pretty crappy situations by myself because I don't want to be a burden to anyone. This is the only place I have been able to fully express myself and because of everyone here I am starting to learn that I have to begin to put myself first. It's a hard habit to break but I'm sure I'll get there.
Mbp we may be married to same man. Lol! Sorry they isn’t it funny how they ask em what’s wrong and when we finally tell them they get mad it’s crazy
Thanks everybody! I’m just here thinking why are minds are causing are body so much pain. Heres what I think. Maybe fibromyalgia comes from pushing down the pain, disappointment, exctra for years and years untill one day your brain says wait we don’t have anymore room in here. So it starts letting out off that pain. So are bodies hurt, we feel fatigued, and we can’t think straight. Maybe all those bottled up feeling poison our bodies, and that is what cause fibromyalgia. Maybe that why not everyone gets it after a traumatic experience. Or maybe I’m totally wrong. What different dose it make cause all the experts are just guessing too.
Oh, I am so guilty of this. I talk to no one, other than my doctor. My husband has no idea that I have a new diagnosis (fibro), I figured why bother, since I've never received much from him in the 4 years I've had lupus. Everyone else, too. No emotional support from my sister, my in-laws, no one. Just my doctor.
I take my meds (including a chemo drug that I inject), then go to work, get my 7 year old to school and back (plus everything else he needs - showers, meals, homework help, etc...), then try to sleep, all while in pain, then get up and do it all over again. I try to fit in a load of laundry here and there. Weekends of course, there's grocery shopping, cleaning, etc... Oh, and we have 2 cats, 2 aquariums, and 3 guinea pigs that all need care daily (except the fish tanks).
And my 22 year old son has Connective Tissue Disease (something auto-immune, they just don't know which auto-immune disease he has yet), so I try to go to his doc appointments with him, plus he still lives at home and his dad and I still support him.
I find myself more and more angry with those who should be supportive but aren't. I told my husband that he has made me angry, bitter and resentful. But I try not to let that fester, because it won't help me health-wise. Most days, I just accept the fact that I am completely on my own in this life and do my best to get through. :/