Confused and frustrated about the pain and other things

General
1

I don't know but i know my knee on one side is getting worse it seem weekly the pain and sensibility in my back has gone done to manageable with serious increase of Gabapentin to 600mg in morning and 300mg at night it keep me going during day but night it get little worse and middle of day is so so on some days and pure boo boo bawling days to normal days it so confusing to me to be ok one day then in agony cant even stand have clothes touch me days. My knee is so bad that there days i cant hardly put any weight on it it always seem right side has always been worse then my left side on symptoms. I just hate the days where it hurt to even wear clothes =(

I dont think im "depressed" per say i just got really upset and down when i cant do thing myself like simply walking to kitchen grabbing drink! I hate taking pills and pain pills because i dont like feeling so odd when i take them but i cant function seem a little without them.

Sleep is something else that bothering me greatly i know i read bout all this but i can sleep for 2 days straight without blinking then i cant sleep at all for days is very annoying! i jsut so frustrated i think with this whole dang Disease i know my mom tell me to uck it up keep going and stop complaining but yanno some days I cant even sit up without feeling like being burn by electricity shooting down my nerves in my back. She says she understands cuz she has back pain but i dont think anyone here realllllly understands what i go through daily basis to just exists. I wanna scream and rant and throw things sometimes when i told to just suck it up. yanno?

I wish they could just for 1 days be in my shoe i know they never tell me to suck it up or stop exaggerating it for sympathy yanno me crying when i walk and other things i jsut wish they understand me i feel like it to much to ask these days

2

Holy Bajeebers!!! Oooooh, I am so sorry you are going through this!!!

On a Monday I went to my Primary to get a 2nd pain med 'script, because for some reason my pain med Hydrocodone 325mg doesn't always work on the pain!!! & he said "No". That Thursday I was in a Flare & the pain med wasn't working!!! I called my daughter to see if she could take me back to the Primary's office for a 'script for a Back Brace, she said yeah at 330P. That Friday morn I made an appt for 330P, she ended up not able to take me so I called my niece & YAAAY she could take me!!! Every time I moved I yelped unvoluntarily/involuntarily 3 steps into the dr's office a nurse had me get into their wheelchair & she took me into a room, I waited 10 min & I got a shot in my hiney & was given a muscle relaxant & more of my pain med. My niece "kidnapped" me & took me home w/her.

Moral of this long story is When you are in a Flare go to your BLEEPING Primary & show him/her it ain't working!!!

((((((((((Happybunnytsu))))))))))

M

3

HappyBunny, there there, here's a hug for you. {{{{HUGGGGGGGG}}}}

You are NOT alone! In fact, your experiences are quite normal and typical for those of us with fibro. We can function on some days but on other days, it feels like lightning has struck us in the nerves. Or a truck smashed into us. Everything that you describe, the knee pain and barely being able to walk, the nerve pain, the desire to suck it up but the inability to do so - all typical of fibro sufferers!

Sleep is another BIG issue for us. We get all stiff and nasty at night, but can sleep better during the day. My mom is visiting my house and grouses about my getting up at 2:30 in the afternoon. It's because I can't get to sleep until 5 or 6 AM! I have found that if I take my nightly nortriptyline that my body can unstiffen enough to sleep. You might want to ask your doctor for something to help your body relax so you can fall asleep. It does help.

Sucking it up makes it worse and is how many of us ended up as bad as we are. We keep going and going and going until we're ready to drop dead from the pain and the illness. THEN we finally get help. Please do not put yourself into that situation because I can guarantee that it will only make you worse. For the things that you must do, make sure to take a lot of breaks so you can feel better and de-stress yourself. And there is a point that you reach where you must stop, because going over it will put you into a big flare - i.e., many bad days at once.

Many of us have had to file for disability due to our illness as we are too sick to work. If you find yourself in that boat, please find yourself a good SSDI lawyer and ask them to file for you. If you have never worked, you can file for SSI, which is different than SSDI. It's awarded dependent upon your income, rather than work background.

And finally, please ask your mother to come on here and read our comments about our illness. Or print some out for her to see. She'll soon appreciate that you're doing as well as you are! Some people here are dreadfully sick from fibro. If that doesn't work, maybe you could bring her to a doctor's appointment and ask your doctor to explain it to her.

Whoops, one more thing: here is a link for you to read. It explains how we must pace ourselves and how we function and feel. I strongly recommend that you read it, and your mother too. It's called the Spoon Theory: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christ...

I hope this helps! Please keep coming and reading; it will help you to learn more about your illness as well as get much needed emotional support.

Petunia

4

Im grouchy today because Im flaring so if it comes across that way youll know ahead of time.. I actually wrote a post about this I had such a big issue trying not to hurt myself doing basic things like walking or going to the bathroom or showering. Im so glad i have an understanding husband so far but whether they understand or not its really their issue. I took to listening to rock music really loud and singing it at the top of my lungs its great for venting and i get to say what i need to say without hurting the feelings since they assume its the lyrics of the song its not like i could do judo chops on them for real you know i dont really wanna hurt them i just wanna say "in the end it doesnt even matter" to them, vent, say my piece and feel better (in the end- linkin' park)

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Wow, like the idea! Loud rock really IS cathartic. (I guess I forgot about that avenue once my 20's were over but what the heck, why not go back to it?) Sounds like such a great way for you to get out all of your pain and anger and frustration, vishq.

Don't worry about being grouchy on here, vishq. Vent away. Venting is good. Venting helps ya to be able to go back into a room and interact normally because you know you were able to let out a bit of the pain.

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Sorry to hear you are going through a rough time. I have always been confused by the fine one day in agony the next myself. From what I've learned it's part of the illness. I am still trying to find the right balance. I too feel misunderstood at times especially when I'm going through a rough bout and nothing seems to work and I can't do the things I normally do.Luckily I'm not depressed either but I too go through the ups and downs in my mood when I have my rough days. Myself having FM and a recent back surgery don't understand why you are being told to suck it up by someone who suffers with pain as well. Trust me one isn't easier or less painful than the other. Hope you have brighter better days ahead!

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Walk a mile in our shoes if ya can...right? I've told a few medical professionals to do just that before they tell you to do something that is just not in our abilities.

My Mom told me to suck it up as well. That was before they took her leg. Now she sings a different tune and is very sympathetic about my ailments....when she can remember, LOL.

I too find myself talking about my ailments more than I need to, losing my audience, feeling bad about not having anything better to talk about. Everything happy I talk about gets cut short because Fibro joined the story and made it about all about IT. It's pretty hard to get past that though for us and I do sympathize with you and I do know exactly what you are talking about here. I have become very quiet in a crowded situation unless spoken to. Many of our friends know about my health issues and don't bring it up but yet again some do ask how it's going and I just ask them if they really want to hear what's transpired since we last spoke. But for the most part I have to train myself not to start talking about myself because I will empty a room, I'm serious, with my tales of woe.

My Dr. has me trying Melatonin and/or Valerian Root in the evenings before I lie down to try to increase my drowsiness so I can fall asleep. I never stay asleep, pain ALWAYS wakes me but I can readjust and still feel drowsy enough to at least close my eyes and rest the body. I've tried Ambien, Xanax, and Klonopin for falling to sleep and I give the Klonopin my vote. I really don't sleep much but I do feel it's important for my body to get the rest it needs whether or not I sleep. I often nap in the afternoon hours and they wake me for dinner. I attribute my drowsiness at that time to my meds kicking in...seems it takes forever for that to happen any more. I am becoming immune to many of my pain meds but they still affect me in other ways...sleepiness is one of the ways. If someone wants me to explain all of this to them I will but in my immediate family, they just know and let me work out my own schedule.

Just cut yourself some slack...you can't help how you are! Let's be sure to try to "have Fibro" and no to let Fibro "have us".Be sweet to yourself!

Always~Laurel aka Northwoods G-Ma

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Laurel

When I read your paragraph about you ... talking about my ailments more than you need to ...Holy moly! That sounds exactly like myself. Due to my FM it keeps me home quite a bit. Over the past year or so I noticed I have isolated myself a bit, I do decline social event. I feel I don't have much to talk about with people besides my health issues and who wants to get into that convo again. I get sore very easily and I'd rather be home where I'm more comfortable and not have to explain myself or my issues. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I love the ... Let's be sure to try to "have Fibro" and no to let Fibro "have us". I tell myself all the time.. I have fibro.. It doesn't have me! :)

After reading my post I thought it may sound like I'm down on myself. I'd like to correct that by saying I'm not! I've gone through some pretty big changes in the last little while and I'm still getting used to them. I love being at home (most of the time) :) Those who know me understand and love me.