I think that you really should try your best to think of this as positive surgery...that it is going to make you feel better. If you have any doubts then if it was me, i wait.
As to healing, unless you have some health problem like auto immune diseases such as lupus, you should heal just fine. I have few autoimmune diseases and they just make sure i am not active and it does take me few weeks longer to heal than normal healthy people...so not enough to make huge difference.
As to the pain...again try to keep upbeat attitude! I do know that if you are anti inflammatory drugs or narcotic they will lower your dosage or have you stop a few weeks before surgery. So you will hurt before but afterwards, your doctors should take care of your pain.
Is this doctor a believer in fibro? Or is this their way of saying that they are not going to treat your pain after surgery because they think you are faking it? i ask this flat out if this is what is possibly going on.
See now i have had RA and opted not to fuse after doing research and speaking to others with it in same joints. My husband fused his ankles and yes it did stop the ankle pain but created pain by him not being able to walk normally plus the pins created pain and a few had to be removed. I personally, always felt fusing was not his best choice but it is his body and his decision. He is on more narcotic pain medication now than before...so i see this as negative as to reducing the pain.
I make sure that you know realistically how much function you are going to lose of your hands especially if you knit or do something like typing, other crafts or work with them. You might not be able to after fusing! I had instead joint work and eventually will do replacement joints..yes they can do joint replacement of your hands. I also have RA in my hands and was worried in my 30's so checked into it....they improved a lot since i originally did my research..20 years ago!
I just hope you looked into all your options. Plus, about pain..my mother had a quadruple bypass surgery and yes they had her on narcotic drugs the few 4 days after it in the hospital. She asked to go on motrin last few days and after that she only took 4 reg Vicodin pills in her complete recovery!! I kept after her that if she was in pain to take them but she said motrin really helped and i believe her as it has helped me as much as narcotic drugs or better.
SOO...most of this was her attitude...she just knew the surgery was good thing and though she was scared at first when she felt her heart beat eventually she would say it gave her new lease on life and it has!! She is 85 and gardens every am..really gardens..goes on walks, small hikes ..just in great shape despite having OA and touch of RA..So try to think of this as positive for yourself and it will be!!
i wish you speedy recovery and hope it makes your live improved!! If you have any doubts..wait..make sure before you let them...i never regretted not having fuse and i also have spondylitis in my spine and was told only thing that might be bad is bones might break...but i never plan on having surgery. so just depends on what you feel is right for you...than do it. I often still think best question is to ask your primary doctor what they do if it was them or their spouse, child etc. Also would they let the surgeon be one to do it?
Oh one thing if you do have surgery....while in the hospital my sister who is RN insisted that before touching my mother that they change their gloves in front of my mother. Also that room was clean! If any dust bunnies showed up at all either in room or bathroom she insisted they cleaned her room immediately...also she made sure they cleaned her room at least daily and tried to get them to do twice.
Now my mom went in with 7 other people who all had failed their stress tests..she was only one to not get infection at some point after surgery..even small one..sure it was due to glove changing and room being cleaned!! Often if you are well enough to notice dentists, nurses, LVN's will come into room with gloves ...does not mean they are not new but just in case have them change them..even to do BP she had them in new gloves! So have advocate if you can!!
I think this bit of information is valuable so i try to pass it on to those having surgery.