Discouraged

After years of unexplained muscle and joint pain, tingling and burning sensations and fatigue, dysautonimia, irritable bowel, migraines, I finally get a diagnosis … Fibromyalgia … The words from the Rhuematologist immediate following the news was…". It’s just something you have to learn to live with." Well, I have learned to live with it obviously, but I am TIRED of just living with it… The older I get the more exhausting it is… I would like some advice on how to ease some symptoms. I am a mom of a teenage girl, a wife, and I work a full time job. Thank you to anyone that has any advice or success stories.

TAMMY WARM WELCOME !
You have come to the right place for ways to learn how to better manage this horrific condition !!
Our members are always sharing up to date research and things that help them, there are hundreds of posted discussions , if you tap the all discussions in the upper left of your posted discussion , you can search discussions that interest you… Read , read , read , I just spent an hr reading all the responses to a discussion about the causes of fibro, and I learn something new everytime I read a discussion.
That Rhuematologist that told you " it’s something you just have to learn to live with " get rid of him !!! Lol
We do learn to live with it, but there are so many things you can continue & try to be the best you can & sometimes it’s trial & error, something may work well for one person and not another, but there are soo many things to just keep trying … I’ll never just live with it , I have learned to be more selective on different things I may try, it is exhausting , for me it’s a full time job …
Working full time as you do, being a mother & wife are all exhausting enough… That’s a success story in itself :slight_smile:
For me , being apart of LWF has made a huge difference , just being able to connect with others that understand has been so helpful ! There is always someone helping you see the positive in a bad situation
I have spent hundreds of $ on supplyments , but found that some helped some didn’t
Calcium-Magnesium supplyment has helped me & is one supplyments I continue, & q-10,
Mild exercise helps , 9-10 hrs sleep every night , pacing activities , learning to say no with out guilt
Massage & chiropractor are my must haves…
And I try very hard to focus on what I can do, not on what I can’t & when I’m having a really bad day, I turn to my friends here, because they always understand :slight_smile:
And me time … A bath , a movie, book, my heating pad
Having a teenage daughter is a hard time, don’t stress over the small stuff, and pick your battles with her…lol it does gets better :slight_smile: with my daughter 16-21 was crazy, ( don’t really know how I got through it) she is 30 now & my best friend !!
Most important …stress reduction … For me that’s a trip to the barn to feed the horses, find your stress reliever !
You have to take care of your self first, hard thing for a mother to do, but it’s a must !
Thank you for your discussion, I look foreword to hearing what others will have to add
One day at a time , we will all fight this together :slight_smile:
Hugs & blessings
dee B

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I am sitting here in tears reading your words and feeling your understanding!! I have read and heard magnesium many times...and have just bought some... so thank you for affirming it does help some folks. I will begin taking it. Again, thank you! Have a blessed day my new friend. Tam

Sorry you are having a rough time. Today I am on a bit of a low day myself. I have two teenagers and two that are 21 and 23. Someone out here posted a story about telling a friend how Fibro feels. They used an example of spoons. Whomever did that please come forward and share with Tammy. Basically the concept is explaining that we have a limited amount of spoons and once they are used up we are done for the day. I read this to my 14 year old teenage son who is very hard on me. He did not say a word when I read it to him but one day he told his father to pick me up some protein shakes as my spoons were slim lately. Since that time he makes references to them when asking to take him places. When he gets overly selfish I will remind him now that I know I got through to him.
Since I occupy my bed most of the time when I am not working. I started inviting my daughter to come in and watch movies with me. I always leave the door open when I am “open for business” meaning my children can come in and sit on the bed and talk or we can watch their favorite shows together. It now works for all of the children. They come and go from my room. It is funny how sometimes one child will wait outside the door for the other one to finish then they yell “my turn”. So I mommy from my bedroom. I ask tons of questions to keep up with their life and as was previously said, I try not to sweat the small stuff. They know when the door is clothes to knock gently as I am having one of my really bad days. But I find now they will come check on me now when the door is closed and are quieter. It is not a perfect system and sorry I wrote a book…
For yourself, Epsom salt warm soaks in the tub. Light a candle makes it peaceful. Vitamin D3 my dr said along with the Magnesium and B12 mentioned. The long heating pads either under the sheets or heating blanket over. Think soft soft soft. Soft clothes, sheets, pillows. Rest. Can’t think of anything else but if I do I will post again. Cut yourself some slack as teenagers are hard. Gentle hugs, Scarlett

Scarlett, thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I appreciate you sharing how you manage to take care of yourself by resting (hard for me to do lately) So, I really like your way of making the children feel welcome while you are resting. I am taking vitamin D max dose, hoping it helps eventually. I have the magnesium and have heard Epsom Salt baths already, so I must do that too! I type this from hotel as I had to go out of town unexpected for work. Looking forward to long holiday weekend and rest rest rest. Peace ~ Tam

Thank you Mimi, I am 45 and it has really hit me hard this year. It was bad several years ago and seemed to almost go into a tolerable remission... never totally dormant... then, I lost my Mom and life in general became very very stressful, it's back with a vengence now. I have recently bought lavender scented fabric refresher for our bedding... it does seem relaxing... Wishing you well!! Tam

Thanks Nic! It has helped me so much already just to know I have a connection to people who understand the struggles and have helpful advice! Happy Thanksgiving!

Thank you for your response. So very helpful to know. I agree, stress makes things worse. I continue on the prescription Vit D and have an appointment with a new Dr which I really look forward to. I struggle with the 'taking care of myself' part :) but, in my PJ's now, just relaxing. Happy Thanksgiving!

Welcome to the community Tammy!

I can understand your frustration. I was officially diagnosed about 3 1/2 years ago, but I've been going through this for over 10 years. Doctors always made me uncomfortable & irritated. They would tell me it was all in my head, that I just needed to forget about it & move on.

I gave birth to our son 6 months ago & boy, let me tell you how much I worried. I spent so much time in bed with debilitating pain. I would cry & tell my husband I was going to be a failure as a mother. Thankfully, I'm not a failure, but the few pieces of advice I can give you? Take it one day at a time. Be nice to your body. Take your TIME. Get a notebook or a journal & write in it every day. When you're having a bad day, write it down. On your next bad day, go back & read a passage from a good day. Realize that you're not expected to be a superhero. Tracking my symptoms has helped me to realize what aggravates things more & that is a very helpful way of helping to see things coming so you can prepare. It's not an exact science but it does help.

I wish you the best & remember we are all here to help you! Happy Thanksgiving to you & your family!