I feel weighed down today and tired as all hell I didn't sleep well last night and you know how that feels the next day. I'm pretty depressed with the diagnosis I mean who wants to know that they are just gonna feel like crap and hurt for the rest of your life and I'm only 24 if I feel this bad now how am I gonna feel when I'm 54 + . to know that there isn't a cure and I might live for the rest of my life going through this. I mean there are days that I just wish I could roll over and die. but I'm not suicidal so I just deal with it but it really sucks. sorry had to vent for a minute I was looking up full symptom list and I wanted to cry after reading it not because it scared me but because it true. this disease was made by the devil himself. oh well i'll get over it I just feel like crap today and wanted to vent.
I do feel like I'm carrying sand bags on my shoulders especially when there is a high pressure system moving in. I'm very sensitive to weather changes.
Hi Severiaprince,
I am saddened by your letter because I know what you feel, what you face and that you are depressed about your reality. The truly optimistic thing I can say is that a cure will no doubt be found in your lifetime, and most likely sooner rather than later. Also, my rheumatologist told me a year and a half ago that fibro research is currently ongoing and that much better drugs will be available to us in a few more years. That in itself is good news. I don't know if that would also decrease our fatigue but if there is less pain felt then perhaps there would be less fatigue?
We most definitely must go through the cycle of grief, due to the losses we incur with fibro. The cycle is disbelief, denial and depression, anger, then, finally, acceptance. My acceptance wavers quite a bit, some days I'm pretty good with accepting what I have, while other days I'm very upset by it.
The one thing you should never, ever do is allow fibro to take away all of your hope. And there IS hope: hope for a better drug or better way of managing the illness, hope for a cure, hope for the return to simpler, healthier times. I'm not sure that the last hope is possible but perhaps it is, if a cure is found. Never say never. And with you being so young, well, a cure should definitely be part of your life. Please don't think about "when I'm 54," because you're not there yet and you don't know what the future will hold for you.
What everyone with fibro needs to learn are management skills in regards to the illness. For instance, we can no longer work a full time day, so we work a part-time day, or perhaps retire from working if necessary. We can't spend 5 hours out with friends, so we spend an hour or perhaps two with them. We use helper devices if so needed. I've learned to use the electric wheelchairs that are available in some stores. I also use a cane for balance and my gosh but it helps! (I went on-line and found the funkiest, coolest ones I could find.) We tell people that we are having a bad day and can't do XYZ.
Fibro sufferers need to learn pacing. In that way, we can accomplish more things. Here's a great article to help explain pacing: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christ... I strongly recommend that you read the article.
And finally, you need to be in an environment where people understand and believe you. This is a really good site for that. I think you'll learn some patience with yourself, belief in yourself and your struggles, and a sense of peace. If you have fellow people along with you on your journey, it's much more do-able.
Hugs of friendship,
Petunia
i so appreciate your words I try to stay positive but that takes a lot of strength of mind and will and sometimes I'm just tired of having to be strong. so I vent, I'm glad I found this place so I could get that fear of my chest. thank you for your support.
I’m sorry love. I know of what you speak because I can’t remember a time in my life when I was without fibro. Sometimes it was good, sometimes it was bad. My advice to you is to try to surround yourself with people that understand and love you bunches! My sweet husband is worth his weight in diamonds and several of my friends will be here for me anytime of the day or night. It makes all of this so much more bearable.
Blessings,
Bevie
xoxoxo