I married a healthy young pup 6 happy years ago, now I am not sure what to make of all this. Idk if it is the fibro or the meds they have him on but he has not taken a second look at me in months…this illness SUCKS…and the way it effects me SUCKS…any advice? Can you relate? Why does this happen? I can I wrap my brain around the fact that this is what my life has become?
Hello,
My heart goes out to you, your hubby is so lucky to have you. In my opinion it is just as difficult and life altering for families as it is for those of us that have Fibro. As a divorcee I cannot give you any really useful advice. It can be a tricky and intimate subject to discuss on-line, but I hope people will feel able to share. I can only think your hubby may be too consumed with his own problems at the moment, fear of failure or just fear it might hurt him. You both have to adapt to the ‘new normal’, it can get better, but you might have to be a little patient. Just one last thought, are you able to talk about this with hubby? I wish you well
Take care, Anne
My wife has fibro and a number of other sickness, physical and mental illness, for the last 10+ yrs we have not had Intercourse, nor have we had any other kind of physical contact with one another. Every time I initiate some light kissing and or touching , rubbing , etc… I get pushed away because all of it hurts her. How I have dealt with it for over 10 yrs is maturation. … I do not think maturation is wrong especially when your partner is unwilling and unable to have any kind of sexual contact with you.
I’m spilling my guts here but if that helps you understand it is worth it to me.
I have coped with not having physical contact with my wife or another woman for 10 yrs. I have been faithful to her for 26 yrs. As a man I am going to honor the bond I have made when we got married to not have any relations with another woman while we are married. We are currently separated for the time being and a divorce is most likely and until then I will not have sex with another woman but all I want right now is at least to hold a woman closely in my arms by my side on a couch or in a bed while she wants to hold me as well and fall asleep next to me.
Guts spilt …hope this helps.
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We hope spilling helps too, Deetz. You’re in a difficult spot, but I admire your ability to sort and verbalize your feelings. I’m afraid I can’t help with suggestions, but I hope it helps you to know that you have an empathetic ear here. Sometimes we get it, and we feel for the other person, but we just cannot find the words. Silence … blank space on your screen … doesn’t mean than nobody is hearing you, especially when what you’ve said is something so emotional, intimate and raw.
If we were all in a real room together, we’d be reaching out, and I’m sure there would be plenty hugs and tears for you.
Seenie from Moderator Support
I understand. I am the one with the fibro and my hubby has to put up with my ever changing mood. I do have one suggestion. I find that I feel the best in the late morning. By the time we go to sleep at night I am soooo tired and sore and just want to go to sleep. My suggestion is to discuss with him when he is feeling his best. Maybe you can set some time aside once in awhile during the time that he feels the best during the day. That is working for us.