Getting Pregnant and Having Children with Fibromyalgia

General
1

Okay, so just curious what everyone's outlook is on actually planning to get pregnant with fibro. My husband is ready to have kids, and he is just waiting on me to give him the green light. What worries me is how many times I have dropped things or fallen because of my fibro. I am terrified that it's going to make me drop my baby when I have one! I'm also terrified that I'll fall down the stairs with my baby! I also am completely prevented from driving because of the severity of my fibro fog among other things.

Does this all mean that I can never, or should never have children?

2

If you want kids, by all means, have kids! I wasn't diagnosed till after my first child was born, but knew something was wrong my whole pregnancy. I will say this, sometimes, fibro goes into remission during pregnancy, othertimes, the pregnancy can make the flare ups worse. that was the case for me. i was in so much pain during the last few months that i actually BEGGED my ob to induce me at 30 weeks. of course they didn't and i delievered on my due date, but the moment that baby was out, i felt pretty good again. i had to take pain meds and did not breast feed so that I could medicate, but it was so worth it. i do worry about things and find myself taking it slower with the kids.

i just gave birth 3 weeks ago and had a horrible pregnancy again, but having finally educated my husband fully on fibro, i'm finding he is helping out tremendously with the girls and is even noticing my flare ups now in enough time to step up to the plate. you also find yourself pushing through and covering up so that your kids don't suffer!

like i said before, if you want babies, then go for it! just make sure you have the full support of your husband and family!

3

Thank you for your response. I have already told my husband that I will want him to take a short paternity leave so that I can get the medication that I need and also because I’ve heard postpartum is very common among fibro sufferers. He is already very supportive so I believe that he will do everything he can when the time comes.

4

I actually was just talking about this today with my mother. I am 32 and single. I am back into the dating scene, and the topic of having children comes up. I have a hard enough time dealing with my pain and fatigue, and to have a baby and take care of it 24-7 seems impossible. I wanted a family my whole life...and now think I may never have it. It is sad to think about.

I wouldn't worry about dropping the baby...instincts will keep you protecting the little one constantly! You can take precautions to prevent it also. If your husband wants kids and is willing to help...go for it! Let us know if you decide to start trying! Wishing the best of luck!

5

We just had a discussion about service dogs for people with fibro, to help keep us from falling and stuff. They are real and exist. If you check page 2 or 3 you'll find a lot of info on them. It might be worth your while to looking into one as it seems to me it'd be like having an extra set of eyes on you, so you wouldn't have to worry about dropping the baby or falling down the stairs.

I think you have to think about what your symptoms are and if you're ready to deal with a child who will become an active toddler in a few years. Maybe try babysitting a relative's kid for a few hours to get a feel for how it gels with your fibro. People obviously do have children when they have fibro, so it's possible to do it.

That's the extent of my advice, as my child was older when my fibro struck. I hope you get some helpful opinions, as this is an extremely important topic and it must pertain to many people who visit this site.

6

Hi it was after my second child was born that I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. She was 2 in Sept. I thought it was all just post partum issues but it just lingered on and on. She was a c section and I was 42 when she was born so I thought my recovery was just extended. I went back to work full time too when she was 3 and a half months old. I finally spoke with my Pcp. Saw a rheumatologist and was told it was fibromyalgia. I had my first and only other child when I was 28. I didn’t have these problems after he was born. They are 13 years apart. Hes a good babysitter lol. Anyway my advice is of course if you really want children many people with fms have children. My advice is to really examine your specific symptoms and medications you really need. You cant take alot of medications while pregnant. Try to be in the best physical shape you can. My children come first and I feel so blessed to have them. I was actually just told yesterday by my Pcp that I am likely still experiencing post partum issues even though my daughter is over 2. I thought that was a little weird lol…

7

Having Fibro and small children is a catch 22. Yes you will have pain and Yes you will have flares but they also give you the drive to not moap around and keep moving. My LO is 19 months old I went in to remission with him and had a good few months where I had less flare then before. Yes I had pain and had fibro fogs. I have two 7yrs and 19 months that i chase around. It is up to you weither or not to have kids. Don't let our illness stop you from living life. Kids are not out of the picture.

8

I’m sorry I babbled earlier and I wanted to add that I really think its important to discuss all your concerns with your doctor before getting pregnant. I think having symptoms as controlled as possible is important as well as a plan when u cant take your usual medications. Be right back my girl just took off her diaper loo. Gotta get to spotty training. Lol

9

Ok just wanted to finish my thoughts. Talk to your husband too. Tell him your concerns. My husband isn’t supportive of me with any of my symptoms so I don’t tell him mu h and it has negatively affected our marriage. I think its just because he cant deal with me not being totally strong and independent. You will need all of his support and his willingness to provide just as much of the care your children need. I wish you the best of luck and I hope I didn’t just confuse you more.

10

Sorry that I didn't respond to this after I got more responses. I kind of abandoned the site for a while =/... We waited a few more months until with a very expensive way of eating, yoga, and a great schedule got me feeling great and healthy. Things were great in all aspects of our life a few months after this post and we decided to stop prevention(which was easy as we have always used "natural" prevention and it has always worked. The first time we stopped preventing, we got pregnant. We were so extremely excited. My family family was unsupportive, but hubby and I were so excited that I didn't really care what they thought. It didn't take long for me to have problems, and no doctors would listen. I was in such extreme pain, that after we went and walked around for a few hours at a fair, I collapsed on the street. I could not walk more than a few feet at a time before collapsing again. It took an hour or more to walk a city block back to our car. I went to the hospital immediately and they just told me that everything was fine. I knew things weren't fine and am used to doctors not listening to me at this point. My pregnancy symptoms all came on within the first few weeks like an extremely accelerated pregnancy. With the pain, I knew I was losing the baby. Because the doctors told me everything was fine and even performed an ultrasound and gave us pictures, I told myself I must be crazy. (I was 6 weeks pregnant) A few nights later, I woke up in the middle of the night in tears. Hubby woke up and asked what was wrong. I told him "I'm going to die. I'm not going to make it. Please take care of our baby, please let my family be involved, please don't let your parents raise him." He, I'm pretty sure, thought I was insane. A few days later I had an appointment, and because of the problems that I had, they gave me another ultrasound. They said everything was fine. Later that day, I had to call hubby to tell him that he needed to come home to take me to the hospital. I was bleeding, my pain had stopped. I went to the hospital and again, they did nothing. They asked me to pee in a cup, and I handed them a cup full of blood. They told me that I hadn't lost the baby yet, and that I might not. They sent me home. Within an hour, I experienced the most emotionally and physically painful experience of my life. And then I flushed my little blip that was in those pictures, my little bubble -down the toilet. The labor like pain went on for the next 12 or so hours. Hubby fell asleep as I laid on the floor screaming.

After that, our lives went to hell because of our clouded judgement during the pregnancy. We were moving, because of a baby that we no longer were going to have, and it was the biggest mistake of our lives. Now we're here and we're trapped.

And I'm terrified that I might be pregnant again. Like I said, natural prevention has always worked. (i.e. not much sex around fertility, pull out, etc.) because of the problems that medical birth control have caused me(killed me libido on top of extremely damaging and possibly permanent side effects that seemed to lead to my fibro) With the damaged libido, condoms are kind of... retarded. I can't see hubby wearing one without laughing, making him feel bad about himself, but I feel like they look funny on him...

Anyway, getting off topic. A few weeks ago during one of my high fertility days, hubby did not do what he is supposed to do, without telling me, and then after the fact, said, "It felt right."

Just so people know that I'm not trying to get pregnant or just not taking any preventative measures and then saying "uh-oh." Hubby kind of... tricked me? I guess?

So anyway, I'm terrified now.

Also, the point in me making my post was to talk about the pain that I experienced when they kept telling me nothing was wrong. Could this be from the fibro? Was I feeling things that maybe other people wouldn't notice because of my fibro?