I am 30 years old and just got married a few months ago. I want to have a baby with every fiber of my being. I feel that I was born to be a mom and I know I would be the best mom possible. I have had a few people say that I am being selfish for wanting a child. One, because I have fibro and might pass it on to my child and two, I might not be the best mom because of the fibro limitations. I am not saying it will be a cake walk. I want a challenge. Anything in life worth your love and attention is worth fighting for. So that is what I want to do. I am hoping for some information. Has anyone on here carried a baby while having fibro? Was it difficult going off of your medication? How was the pregnancy? The recovery? What are the limitations you face as a mother with fibro? What have you found to be you biggest challenges? Do you have any advice for me? Thank you so so much for the time and support. Michelle
I don’t have children yet but I have the same feeling that I was born to be a mother and I WILL NOT let fibro get in the way of me having children. I hope you have an easy pregnancy and a wonderful life with your child. Hugs and support-Mikayla.
I’ve wondered this same thing. I’ve always wanted to be a mom and am engaged. He asked me the other night if I thought kids were still possible since I feel so bad right now (not formally diagnosed so I’m not on any medication). I told him I still want at least one kid no matter how bad I feel…I just may need more help than I normally would.
I was diagnosed with Fibro about 6 years before I had my daughter. I wasn't taking many meds before I was pregnant but I did have to go off what I was taking. I had a normal pregnancy I think, the last 2 months were difficult and I think some of the issues I experienced were Fibro related. After my daughter was born I would say I felt like any new mom would. The only thing I feel like is the pregnancy made my feet worse overall (still). I wasn't able to breastfeed (not due to fibro) and I seemed to recover my energy to what it was before the pregnancy. I think some adrenaline kicked in as well and I did fine overall taking care of my child. It isn't easy but everyone in life faces challenges and we each have to decide what is right for us. I was 32 when my daughter was born and for me I am glad I was a little bit older. Everyone is different but that is my experience.
I was diagnosed when I was 19 and had had an unplanned pregnancy that ended in miscarriage months before being diagnosed. I had gotten married almost a year before and my biggest concern was that it would stop us from starting the family we had always planned. Today I am 24 and have two beautiful baby boys. It’s incredibly challenging and completely worth it.
My boys are only 18 months apart, the younger one is almost 4 months old. Without my medication I’m bedridden so I chose to continue taking my meds throughout both my pregnancies. My boys are both healthy and strong little men.
My pregnancies were very different from eachother.
The first was planned, I had spent a year in advance doing pilates to tone up my back and pelvic muscles and it made a huge difference in how I felt. I went into remission about halfway into the pregnancy and was able to go off my meds. The remission ended when my son was 2 months old. I ended up having preeclampsia so my son was born early but healthy. Labour was painful, of course, but manageable. I found that bit was not as bad as flare ups had been and pain coping techniques I used for fms were very helpful during labour. I had a natural birth and a healthy baby. 6lbs 12oz at 37 weeks. Recovery was quick and easy. I was still in remission so I was out and about on day two.
My second pregnancy was unplanned, my body wasn’t prepared and the muscles in my back and stomach were still weak and overstretched. It was incredibly hard. I was on bedrest from about 6 months on. I had extra eater and a big baby and because my core wasn’t strong it became impossible to walk by about 8 months. We had to rent a wheel chair. I ended up being induced because I was so immobile. My Labour was long and extremely hard. I opted for an epidural and ended up having a c-section. My son was exactly 9 lbs. Recovery took about two months. I could barely walk for the first week or two. It took two and a half months until I could start pilates again to try to regain my core strength.
I think my planning and level of fitness made a monumental difference in the experience of pregnancy, Labour and recovery.
I am aware that my children could get fibromyalgia, and if that happens I will be able to guide them through it. When I was pregnant we decided not to do genetic testing because if people could test for fms I think it’s likely they would terminate a child who would have it and I know what a gift life is, even if you are sick.
My biggest challenge right now is that my 2 year old is big and heavy and clumsy. Him hugging me, tickling me, just playing is often extremely painful. Especially when I’m putting him to sleep and he is rolling all over the place. That being said, he is learning to respect people’s bodies and understands when I tell him he hurt mommy. But sometimes just being around him is too much. We have a high couch in the living room that he can’t reach so that even when my pain is higher I can be in the room with him.
My best piece of advice is to not be too hard on yourself. There is no one way to be a parent. There are a lot of things that I can’t do that other parents can. But Ivan always there for my boys, I know they will learn a lot from having a mom with fibromyalgia about empathy, gentleness and overcoming challenges they may face in life. Already it’s obvious that my son is more independent and more careful than most kids his age. He brushes and glosses on his own, clears his own plate and takes it to the counter, helps bottle feed his little brother. It’s amazing what kids can accomplish when they need to.
I am so glad I had children, and we intend to have one more. It’s incredibly difficult and incredibly rewarding. And so worth it.
Thank you everyone for giving me such great feedback. Mikal you brought up some things I didn't think of, like what having fibro will give to me as a parent. Thank you for that. I just needed to ask my new family what they knew and what their experiences have been. I will take it all to heart and use it along with the info I have gathered from family and friends to make an informed decision. Who know in a few months I may join the pregnancy group with a little one of my own on the way. I just needed to hear from others who are kind of in the same boat as me. Thank you again, hugs, Michelle