Hey all! I just wanted to reach out for some answers and support. I am 28 years old and was diagnosed with FM a little over a year ago. I am just letting it sink in recently that this IS the rest of my life and I will never have another good day, I will never be completely happy, and I will never be normal again. I am not married and have no children yet and I am petrified that when I do have children that I wont be able to pick my baby up, or be able to be a good mother to them. My boyfriend is amazing and always tries to help me when he can and feels bad I am always in pain but I am petrified hes going to get sick of it and find a woman he deserves that always feels good and happy. I am filled with worry and stress about what my days to come will be like and when I get older if the pain will get worst. I work full time and I am scared one day I wont be able to work. I am over weight now and It seems almost impossible to lose weight and exercise. I am always exhausted! I hate this! I don't understand it: I have had a rough past. I was in an abusive marriage. I have had a fair share or controlling relationships as well. I got through them all with love and moved on with strength and dignity. I never allow hate in my heart and It saddens me that I feel like I have already had my fair share of struggles and feel like God should be giving me a break at some point. Why is this happening to me? :( I would greatly appreciate anyone who has gone through this stage to message me and tell me how they grieved. Thank you!
Hi Christina!
A warm welcome to LWF! You will get through it with a little help from your friends! It is wonderful that you already have a supportive boyfriend, family and friends. The friends and people you will meet here know exactly what you're feeling and understand your symptoms and pain as we all are going through it. Joining this group is one of the best things you could do for yourself! I found in reading other members stories I realized I'm not alone as well as learning much on the subject of Fibro. It sure isn't easy to accept this life long sentence, but we have to find a new happy, a new normal and never is a very strong word. You will have good days and bad that is for sure. I think everyone one of us may have asked the same question "why me"...probably anyone who has ever been diagnosed with a terminal disease or debilitating one. Although I'm not as young as you and the things you stress and worry over like marriage and having a child is only understandable. We fear the unknown...I fear the future too...My story is similar only different stages of life. I finally got my youngest off to college and thought now it's my turn. I was excited to restart my life...moved to a new city where it was very challenging, but I was determined to make it work and then I get hit with Fibro. Go figure?! There are no satisfactory answers or one that I can think of that justifies that neither of us and everyone else here deserving this illness! Life certainly isn't fair sometimes and the only way I can do it is by taking each day as it comes. I try not to look too far ahead because it brings me down. The fear of not knowing where my next cent is coming from to pay the rent...will I ever find love again with a man who will understand all that is involved with Fibro? The whole thing is overwhelming! So you see we aren't that different. Some how I take comfort knowing that I'm not alone and the fact I've joined this group validates all that I feel and the ability to vent or ask questions without judgement is truly a blessing. I'm sorry I don't have the magic answer for you, however I do have compassion for all that you have been through and are going through. Have you tried meditation things that will help you put aside your stress. Stress is the very worst thing for Fibro. Take baby steps. I pray for you that one day you will be able to have the joy of marriage and having a child...it may not be exactly the way you would have liked. It will be different. If your boyfriend truly loves you he will continue to support and love you good and bad. Please try to maintain a positive attitude and we all don't know maybe a cure is not too far into the near future. That is how I prefer to think :) I'm sure you'll have many more responses here that will help encourage you that life doesn't have to end with Fibro! I'm sorry too for the length of this message...hard to explain in a few words :)
Gentle hugs,
Sue (aka Dreamcatcher)
Hi Christina,
I can not offer anything other than I feel for you! I am new here and have been struggling myself. This group is amazing...they will offer you support and their knowledge from coping /dealing with FM.
Gentle hugs
Roseanne
Hey, I’m new here but I felt like I was reading my own words seeing your post. I’m 24 and I have been struggling since my teens but always thought it would get better, that I’d grow out of it but this week the doctors told me I’d never get better and I guess I’m grieving now, I’m so confused and feel like I want to do things I never thought I’d miss just because I can’t do them anymore. I’m scared about having kids and my boyfriend putting up with me. I’m scared that I won’t work again as I lost my job recently. I’m really overweight and the more I try to loose, the more I put on. But one thing I’m not scared about, and it sounds silly but, I’m not scared of being scared. As long as we are scared then we haven’t given up, we can fight for a future we love even if it isn’t the original plan, we can push ourselves to find what helps, and we can hope for the good days. I know even before I knew what was wrong with me that if I thought tomorrow would be bad then it would be so now I don’t and even the bad days seem more manageable just because I’ve not stressed myself out dreading them. I hope this helps, and you sharing your story has helped me so thank you. Alice xx
Hi dream catcher! Thank you for your response! Have no fear about the legnth! It was wonderful! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I was in tears reading what you wrote! I do stretches followed by meditation every night before bed and it helps a lot! I never thought there would be a possibility to having a cure! I will just keep praying for a cure so all of us who suffer can have some relief! If not a cure than a medicine that actually works! I have always been thankful that i was diagnosed with the lesser of evils and its not lupus or ms or worst. Thank you again for your inspiration and your kind words! It means more tha you know!
Gentle hugs, Stina
Alice, thank you for your reply! You are so right about being scared! I never thought about it that way! I have always thought the only proper way to grieve or get through things is with a smile and to be strong and you helped me realize that its normal to worry and wonder about the future! I am sorry that you lost your job, but something will come to you! Thankfully by the grace of god while i was struggling at a very physically demanding full time job was offered s job at a medical facility as a receptionist and its been amazing! You will find something and you are young so you have your whole life ahead of you! I hope things get better for you and that you have many great days ahead of you! You are in my prayers!
Hi Christina and welcome to this group! It is an amazing group of people.
Coming to the realization that this is the rest of our lives is difficult. I was diagnosed in 2008 and I have been hit really hard by fibro. In early 2010 had to leave work and by mid November was on disability. But oddly enough, the realization that this was the rest of my life, did not really hit me until a few months ago. As bad as I have it, I guess I just thought that I would feel better one day. Believe it or not, I am a fairly bright person! So I understand, it is a tough thing to deal with. But I just deal with one day at a time. I spend time in prayer everyday and keep myself centered that way. I keep this group in my thoughts and prayers everyday. (I hope that does not offend anyone.) But this group keeps me going most days and I am sure it will be the same for you!
Jackie
This is all still new for you. Grief is a good word when you first find out that you have fibro or when you begin to realize that the symptoms just don't go away. I felt the same way for about 2 years in a row. I was at my breaking point last year when I finally went back to the doctor and laid out all my symptoms, etc. That really helped - ie talking to my doctor and being real honest about my feelings. Also, meds can help ease some of the symptoms too. Reaching out for support also helps because having people who actually understand what you feel is very healing. You say that you feel like God should give you a break. I take that as you do believe in God. For me, oddly enough, dealing with my diagnoses and the chronic pain has been largely a spiritual journey. A journey of the realization of human suffering and my own mortality. It has helped me to turn to God and to learn to Trust in Him in all things. It has been healing for me to come to God with my pain knowing that He is gonna help me get through each day....that when I put my trust and faith in Him, He will see me through whatever challenges I might face. I am a wife and a mother and I work full time at a job that includes service to chronically ill individuals. I think I would be crazy right now if I didn't keep going to God for strength and support. I think He can help you too if you come to him and ask him to help you....if you trust in him to help you live your everyday life. Don't worry about the future. Just know that God will get you through whatever comes your way. No one can predict the course of this condition and while I have learned from others on this sight that its manifestation changes with time, you might actually have periods of relief. You never know. Try to enjoy your life. And don't worry about tomorrow. Take one day at a time. Check out the "Serenity" prayer (you can find a copy online). It was very helpful to me in my dark days of the beginning of my fibro diagnoses. Maybe it will help you too. Thinking of you Christina and praying too. God bless you!
Thank you helpfulhol, I appreciate your kind words. It is nice to know that someone possibly slightly older, who is married, has kids and a full time job and is still able to function. That is what my biggest fear is, is that i wont be able to be a parent and a wife, who can pick up my child, play, and be able to do everything. ( i know that sentence made no sense lol) Someone told me once that Fibro does not stop you from loving and with love in your heart ou can get you through anything. I will look up that serenity prayer and thank you again for your kind reply!
Gentle hugs~Christina
I truly feel for you! I simply take one day at a time, and I think of how fortunate I am to be alive, and not dealing with Cancer. there is always someone less fortunately so try to stay positive! Hugs, Jackie
Aww Stina that warms my heart if what I wrote helped in some small way! I love your attitude! And yes without hope then what do we aspire to or for...hmm not sure which is correct! lol No matter you get what I mean!. Prayer is always good and you know what they say hmmm who is "they" not sure either, but it goes like this "there is strength in numbers"! That's why this support group is so important! We'll take a cure or medication that works!! You will bring wonderful things into your life being positive than negative. I hope you continue on that path! You so deserve happiness and much more! Best wishes and if you ever need another dose of inspiration lol and/or need to talk by all means add me to your friend list and write me a message! You know I get inspired too...you are right we are blessed as it could have been worse! Thank you for sharing your story and giving me a little inspiration too! Sue