Omg will it ever end?
Thanks
The people here understand you and will give you hope and humor. We will cry with you and laugh with you. Don't lose heart. We all have been there. Some days are worse than others too. People have a hard time understanding. Friends I've tried to explain it to since 2007 just don't get it. Cuz when they see me I look ok. They need to come over some day about noon when I'm still not dressed and my house has been hit by dog and cat tornados. Then they might get it. Hang on Amberlyn. Hugs.
LKitty
I am 32. Closing in close on 33. I have always worked and worked very hard. I have a child with Cerebral Palsy and while managing full time employment I was also able to provide all of her care as well on my own.
Then I got sick. I struggled to keep my job at the cost of my function at home. I was in bed at 6pm every night and left my now divorced husband to clean and care for our child.
When I finally gave up my job it killed me. I am still waiting for my disability review after almost 3 yrs since filing.I can care for my child better but still have a lot of limits. I still get very depressed at times but have found doing some volunteer work to be a great way to feel functional. I am a nerd so I found myself with the historical society. I do tours of the location but recently due to the symptoms have had to step back. Getting involved in this has opened up a whole new world for me. I have made a lot of new friends and met several people in the celebrity ghost hunting scene. The fun that comes with it helps me pull out of a funk and have some extra motivation.
Music has been an amazing inspiration. I am in LOVE with Thirty Seconds to Mars. Jared Leto is my King. I was going to see that band play live for the first time next month but the show was delayed and I am not sure I where I will be able to attend that show. Get lost in a book series. Sometimes finding something to nerd out on can help you get thru the day knowing that you get to read again or watch another episode of Doctor Who.
(yes, I am a total nerd. I go to all the Pacific NW Comic Con events in costume and work them if I can as a model to get the free admission) Well, my eye fatigue is settling in today and I can barely read. I hope you can find one small thing to give you the boost to move past this feeling of giving up. If all else fails....look at the picture below and I dare you to not smile. 
Hi Amberlyn,
I hope that you were able to get a good night's sleep, and are feeling at least a little bit better today! We care about you, you are important to us! I'm glad you came here and vented to us, just look at the outpouring of love and care that have been sent your way. Hope you can soak it up, and feel a little better!
Sending love and hugs,
SK
Hi Amberlyn,
I understand how you are feeling. I've also been there. I feel for you.
i noticed that on your home page you said you were taking Lyrica. Have you thought about the possibility of your depression being a side effect of the Lyrica? I ask only because I had such a reaction. Once I stopped taking the Lyrica, my depression lessened. Be strong, you will get through this.
gentle hugs, Kerry
You can’t give up now. Look all that you’ve been through on this journey. You’ll find someone who will get you sleeping ( took me years) but I kept going and everyone here was backing me. You’ll have a good day and them many bad days, but you are so worth it. Baby steps to live. big hug~ Sandi
I know how you feel. I had alot of days like that....giving up. Sick of going from doctor to doctor with no help in sight. Feeling overwhelmed, not being able to sleep, trouble doing housekeeping, going to bed a 6pm. In denial over my Fibro diagnosis. Waking up in the morning- opening my eyes and thinking "oh no, not another day".
I finally had enough and decided I...yes me!!...was going to become in charge of how this whole Fibromyalgia nightmare was going to be handled. First of all...I stopped the meds the Rhumy (jerk) was giving me-they gave me more side effects and no pain relief. I called Primary doc and asked him for referral to pain doc (that I had found online-not one they referred to) that I had done research on and seemed like he knew Fibro (even though my primary didnt think pain docs could help fibro). I asked for referral to Endocrinologist and I am going to be in process of asking to see a neurologist. I am covering all bases here...want to be VERY sure of diagnosis (since I had gastric bypass done a year ago and am ruling out vitamin deficiency/vs fibro) but I think i am at end of road and have to live with Fibro diagnosis. I am still in pain, but the pain doc has atleast given me some relief (thank GOD), so that I can get "normal" things done...like working and housework. I have also started on a low dose of Lyrica, which (cross fingers) I have had no side effects from as of yet. So..my advice to you (if you are able to) is to see a pain specialist that has some knowledge of fibromyalgia. Also, have your docs check your vitamin D levels- most of us are deficient in this vitamin and it causes body pains when too low. I hope you can find atleast SOME relief from this awful thing called "PAIN" cuz it sure is a "PAIN"!!!!! xoxo
I have felt like this many times. I did not want to try one more medication and deal with the side effects, I did not want to deal with one more ignorant person who simply didn't try to understand my condition or I should say conditions. Then I kicked myself in my butt and told myself I am stronger than fibromyalgia and I have dealt with some pretty awful pain and got through it. Nothing and nobody is going to ruin my quality of life anymore. Getting angry, being sad and tired seems to come with this condition but so does understanding your body and what triggers a flare-up. Through all of the ups and downs, I have learned who are my true friends, my unbelievable inner strength to handle anything and that sometimes talking it out is the best medicine there is when things are tough. I believe in you and know that you will find the strength to get through this challenging period because you are not a quitter! None of us are and our pain is real and it pushes us to the edge sometimes but we are wonderful people dealing with many conditions!
Hang in there and believe in yourself, it will get better!
ladybug3
AmberlyIn,
Please don't give up. I know how awful fibro makes us feel and giving up seems like the only solution at times. The big thing about fibro is that we have to learn how to pace ourselves with it and how to ask others for help when we need it. If you try to live your life the way you did before you got fibro, well then you're going to fall flat on your face. Frankly, i have to constantly reassess how i'm doing things, so i can find an alternative way of handling it and also pace myself for it. For instance, food shopping. i have to do it right after i finish work. if i go home first, then I'm done. Once i get to the food store, i have to use the electric cart. i also use my cane to snag things off the shelves instead of getting up to get them. I've been asked if I need help out to the car. So far I've said no but I probably will accept the help soon. When i get the groceries home, i bring up the non-heavy ones and leave the heavier stuff for my sister to get. That's because I have to walk up 10 stairs to get inside. Then I put away the groceries that'll go bad first and leave the other ones until I'm less exhausted in the day. Little by little I put them away. I may take a break and sit down for 10-20 minutes.
So you see, pacing and accommodating is critical for those of us with our illness. If I tried to do the shopping as I did before, I'd be DEAD halfway across the store's floor. It makes no sense for me to knock myself out before I'm even done with the chore. I have to do the same thing throughout the entire day. I don't know how you handle things in your day, Amberlyn, but if you don't give yourself the time and space to rest and recover, this illness will be much worse for you.
Another thing is to ask for help when you need it. Sometimes I like to play hero and refuse help because I'm too embarrassed to admit that I need it. But i really do need it! So I'm going to have to learn to say, "yes, please." This might be helpful for you to consider too.
You talk about friends who've left you due to this illness. It's not you that they're leaving, it's the illness. They just don't know how to handle it. it scares them. It IS a scary illness. I surely don't know what it's about or what's going on with it.
I know that many of us take amiltriptyline for sleep issues; I myself use something similar in the family called nortriptyline. It helps me a lot. I'm not sure if you've tried any of this meds but if not they might be something for you to look into.
Doctors...hoo boy. Sometimes i think I would have been better off to have stayed away from all doctors and physical therapists and have just taken Ibuprofin instead, since it's about the only thing that kind of helps with the pain.
I hope you stay strong for yourself. Fighting fibro doesn't mean we have to give it our every last ounce of strength. in fact, I think fighting it means learning how to pace your life so it doesn't do you in.
Gentle hugs to you,
Petunia