Hi everyone
I’ve been gone from here about a year. But I’m at an all time low. I’m so sick and getting worse. I’ve been having severe dizziness for the last 6 months. Also daily headaches and my colon had all but shut down. In having a stomach biopsy in 2 weeks. But besides that, I’m completely alone. My daughter hasn’t spoken to me in a year, nor have I seen my granddaughter. My life is completely isolated. I can’t drive or leave the house. Tonight I almost decided to kill myself. But I just don’t have the courage. Yet.
I’m at a loss on how to improve my situation. I’m sorry to lay this on strangers, but I’m so sad.
Thanks
I’m so sorry to hear about your pains and sadness. But PLEASE do not harm yourself. This sadness will pass by and as a family of fibro fighters, we will all support you best as able and give you encouragement in rough times like these. But please stay with us and allow us to be here for you. If you need to vent, I totally get that and even will encourage it because its not healthy to have pain and emotions bottled up.
Hang in there! Prayers and blessings, things will get better! I am here if you need or want to talk! (Gentle hug)
Hi Penelope,
I am so very sorry to read this. I can understand how Fibro and illness can isolate us sometimes and we can feel so alone. I am also so concerned about you saying you almost decided to kill yourself tonight. I know you said you don't have the courage yet but it does sound like you need to talk to someone now more so than waiting to receive responses tonight on here. We are all so very happy to support, understand and give advice but we are patients like you and not professionals. So may I suggest there is a help line that is posted on LWF and here it is:
Please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
INTERNATIONAL World-Wide Suicide & Crisis Hotlines http://suicidehotlines.com/international.html
I will be more than happy to write and converse with you, but my feeling is you may want to talk to someone now. Please consider this. Just very concerned and care!
Sue (aka DreamCatcher)
Hi Penelope, I’m so sorry you are having such an awful time, feeling alone is absolutely the worse thing ever !!! We are here for you, & we care because we understand what you are feeling & why you are feeling it. Have you talked to your dr about this ?? There is also a help line 1-800- 273- TALK , you can just talk to some one about these feelings. Please call ! Or call the crisis hot line in your community, every state & county has one… They will even send someone to your home to talk to you !
I know how daily headaches & pain can result in feeling so absolutely isolated & down & colon issues… When I was having those same issues I was miserable !!!
I don’t know the situation with your daughter, but talking it through with someone can really help.
I am so glad you did not try to hurt your self tonight… Please don’t do that, there is help out there, and it will get better… Thank you for reaching out to us, there are so many wonderful people here !! I live a lone also, but being connected with friends here have made me not feel alone. We are here for you, please call your dr & tell him you need to be seen & the thoughts you are having…
I care about you, feel free to send me a message we can talk more
Hugs &
Blessings
dee
Thank you
I’m here. I just spoke to my therapist. She’s great. I will be safe until I can see her Thursday. This past 9 months have been hell. My pain is off the chart and my general health is horrible. I have lost all my friends and family, merely because I’m sick and BedBound. I really want to feel better but I’m just getting worse. I’ve lost 45 lbs in 9 mo. Without trying. I finally saw a GI doc last week. He’d not sure what’s going on til the biopsy. My pain pills aren’t helping. All I can do is cry.
You're not alone. Please take Sue's advice and call and talk to someone.
I can’t call anyone here. If you do, they try to take you to a mental hospital. I tried that several yrs ago. I took myself. But you can’t have your pain meds there. Which makes it excruciatingly painful.
I’d rather not live than go thru that again
I'm glad you have your therapist to talk to, but just to say again if at anytime you need to talk to someone because you can't wait. Please call the help line. You sound like a lovely lady who is going through a very rough time and we do not want to see anything bad happen to you! I hope you will come on here more often and you'll make some friends and you won't feel so alone. Please don't hurt yourself...We would love to hear more about you and maybe through your experiences we can learn something too! Gentle hug....Sue
Well that would totally suck. Stay strong until you can see your therapist on Thursday. Do whatever you need to do to be good to yourself.
I’m not going to hurt myself tonight. I really wish I could end this agony but I can’t. I keep thinking about leaving that legacy for my granddaughter. So I’m stick here. Alone. In severe pain, dizzy, nauseated, etc. I just want relief. And it would be nice to have someone I know care enough to call me.
Thanks
Hi Penelope,
I am sorry that you feel this way! I know how tough all of this is, I think every one of us here has been through this at one time or another. I'm glad you have such a good therapist and you will be safe until you can see her.
All of the things you're going through are very overwhelming, and when they hit all at the same time it becomes almost unbearable. Talking to a therapist is one of the best things we can do, because they can help us organize our thoughts, figure things out, and help us find solutions no matter how dismal we think things are.
Unfortunately, because we are a non-profit support group that is run totally by volunteers, we don't have the resources or credentials to handle emergencies or crises. If you do feel you're in danger, please take everyone's advice and call the Crisis Line, we want you to be safe !
Big Hugs-
Renie♥
Hi Penelope,
I'm glad you came to us! We're gonna wrap our arms around you, and tell you that you're gonna be okay, tell you that we understand, tell you that we want you around, because we do! You know that even though we're not Doctors, we're not strangers either, we are more like exact images of you in so many ways!
I had some nasty vertigo and between adjustments by my chiropractor and wrist bands, I got over it!
http://www.beltoutlet.com/motbyseab.html?utm_source=shopping&utm_medium=cse There are different colors of these, with different ways to close them, but these work very well for vertigo. That is straight out of the mouth of one who had severe car sickness from birth, they'll help with the vertigo too, and there are no side effects!
I take morphine for pain, and the constipation from them is tremendous! Here is something that helps move the food through your body! It's the magic ingredient in yogurt!
http://www.medicinenet.com/probiotics/page2.htm#benefits
Having my gall bladder removed and being older, I have less and less enzymes to break down my food, I have the biggest problems with meat and cheese. my chiropractor put me on these, along with probiotics and life is a whole lot better!
And if you need a bit more help one of these with a cup of hot tea does the trick for me!
You know, I don't have all the answers, but there are answers here, there are wonderful people who 'get it'! I don't know of one single person in chronic pain that has not had that dark hour! We all fall in deep holes, but you remembered that we're here and that we pull each other out! See, you missed us! ha! You did!
Glad you are going to talk about this, it always helps to have a therapist, and it helps to have us too! Hopefully between the therapist, your Doctor, and you visiting with us much more, things can look up again, get you feeling better, and back out into life a bit!
I have been there, bed bound for 6 months! Between my MDs and my DC, and finally the right Rheumatologist, I got the full diagnosis, and got on the right meds, and I'm not great, but I'm better than I was! The weather is FINALLY warming so that is always a help!
You live in an absolutely beautiful area, hopefully you can get well enough to go out and just enjoy a nice drive, the horse farms are stunning! All of you folks are just so very nice!
We all have our arms around you, Pen, please come talk to us much more often, we want you to be as well as you can, you can't tell me that you haven't missed us, cuz here you are! So just know we're with you, you're not alone! Keep talking it will make you feel so much better!
Sending love and hugs,
SK
I also have been dealing with alot of issues with Fibromyalgia. I would like to help if I could. Please call me, I would be glad to come out to stay with you for a few days t get you through this.
Tim- (240)■■■■■■■■
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Hi sk. Thanks
I’m having trouble thinking today. Exhausted physically & emotionally. I’ll check back when I can think. I can’t kill myself. So I’ve got to function somehow. I have to use my phone to be online. My laptop has broken. So it makes it harder to be online.
Thanks to everyone. Really.
Also, sk, I take Lactulose for my colon. Dr said at the least I have mobility problems, which can’t be fixed.
When my head clears, hopefully, I’ll check back later.
PLEASE>>>>> PLEASE>>>> Do NOT Harm yourself...... Life has a way of taking us down these lonely dark roads and it is times like this where you not only have to reach out, like you are doing, but also look into yourself to find that inner strength to change the way you think. You have already taken a Huge step using some of that strength which came from within by reaching out to us. Now, instead of thinking about what you don't have, think about what you do........ Life is so precious.... YOU ARE NOT ALONE>>>>> WE ARE HERE FOR YOU...... Enjoy every minute, not looking to the future of what is to come two minutes from now, think about the things you have now at the precise moment, and it's ironic, most of the time the things we appreciate most and seem to over look are insignificant in our lives until we come across a cross road such as this when we have to reflect on life. So, be HUMBLE. You have so much to be thankful for..... Remember US each time you get weary and feel like all HOPE is gone and you have no STRENGTH left to hang on to...... TOGETHER WE ARE STRONG. You are always in my prayers.
"We may have FIBROMYALGIA but FIBROMYALGIA does NOT have US"
Much Love,
INSPIRATION
you're not alone Penelope! we all care for you. My best advice is to talk to a therapist or call the hotline number we have set up - 1-800-273-TALK
Thanks Scott
I’ve talked to my therapist. I’m afraid my health is deteriorating. But we’re having storms right now so weather pain is bad. I’ll check back. Thanks everyone. Rough day.