Just venting because I need support

I hate this condition. It hurts so much. I feel like I will explode from the inside out. I feel like crying or like locking myself in a warm, dark room all alone - except for the pain. It's just so much to deal with. I have so much to do around the house and for my children and I can't do anything. I feel that everything is such a huge, magnificent effort. I am foggy and my muscles are tense. My muscle spasms are going crazy. ??? There is no end. I want to scream, "let go of me" and have this attack on my body let loose and leave. But, it won't. I know it won't. I'll spend days like this until I start to feel a little better, more under control.....until the flare up ends. No one understands. My husband thinks I'm crazy. He yelled at me for laying down very early last night. What can I do?? I feel like I am a slave to my body. One of the hardest things about this darn condition is the war between mind and body. My minds says go. My body says stay. I'm constantly torn, but my body always wins. Will it ever end??????

Hi,

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time and are experiencing such difficulty and pain : ( Has your husband read any articles on Fibro and how it can affect us? It sounds like he doesn't fully understand what your body and mind are going through. First, stress can make Fibro flare, so the first piece I have to say is-Don't be so hard on yourself for not getting tasks completed, whether that be chores, cooking or any other task. We have to be kind to ourselves and our bodies, even if others aren't. Give yourself a break and don't hold yourself to every else's expectations. We have to form our own expectations and our "new normal".

Are you taking any meds that help with all the symptoms you are experiencing? Do you have a doctor that is following your care? It sounds like a med adjustment is in order possibly because from what you are saying, you are experiencing a very bad flare.

I read your post and I can feel the pain in your words. I'm sorry your husband yelled at you when you laid down early, that should never happen : (

As you know, we experience ups and downs and it sounds like you are in a down moment. I just want you to know that it isn't always a down moment that you will experience forever. There are times of happiness, joy and low pain levels that can be achieved with the right medical management, stress management and wellness plan. I was given some great advice on here to develop an "emergency kit" of things that help me when I am feeling horrible. Has there been anything specific for you that has helped? (hot baths, icy/hot patches, meditation and visualization).

I'm sending support your way and please know that you are not alone! I'm here if you want to chat.

Sara

Hi Hopefulhol I am really glad you reached out to the members here for support! I am sorry you are in a flare right now, that truly isn't fun. Have you talked to your doctor about how you are doing? Like Sara mentioned, it could be time for a med adjustment. Are you taking any muscle relaxers? They can help for some people. Sometimes it is just trial and error to see what works. I was put on Flexeril (muscle relaxer) this summer but didn't see any benefit to it, even though I've read on here that it works for a lot of people. I just recently switched to Robaxin (another muscle relaxer) and while it is still early, I have seen some benefit to it. Have you tried taking warm baths with Epsom salt? I sometimes also play really calming music and I use scent, especially lavender as it is calming. Regarding your husband, there are several excellent articles on the internet that help others' understand chronic illness. One is the spoon theory (just google spoon theory and it should come up) and another article is from wikihow. Please keep us updated on how you are doing. I am sending a big, gentle hug your way!