Need advice on how to control emotions at doctor's appointment

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1

For the last four months every time I go to see my pain doctor I become so frustrated that I start to cry. Like everyone else who has fibro, this past winter has been very hard on me. I try to tell my doctor that my pain can be unbearable; that I am not functioning very well. He in return tells me that all his fibro patients are complaining of the hard winter and that I "should hang in there until spring". Each appointment I go to I am in a lot of pain and I am exhausted. My emotions are right at the surface and I start to cry. The doctor tells me that I am emotional because I am not sleeping; I am emotional because I am at the end of my rope and he is not hearing me. He offers me sleep medication which I do not want to start taking again. I experienced a lot of side effects before and it took me six months to wean off the sleep medication. I take morphine ER three times a day; 30mg in the morning and at night and 15 mg in the afternoon for pain. I think that is not working anymore, but the doctor says we should wait until spring to re-evaluate my pain medication.

I could use any advice on how to get my message across without melting down. I have seen this doctor for the last nine years and am afraid of trying to change to someone else.

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What other meds are you taking? It could be one of them, I had a bad bought this winter and upped my lexapro…did wonders for my emotions. Doctors here (fl) won’t give morphine…I take tramadol keeps my pain level pretty good most of the time. I also take Savella, it has helped me lots also.

The best thing that I do is 1 try to watch that I am not committing myself to too many activities. That includes housework, work, and friends/family.

  1. I attempt to get in daily yoga…gentle stretching…and praying.
3

This is a hard one and I share your frustration. I have taken medication articles to my pain doctor to ask if the medication in the article may be a better match for my symptoms and he has responded “Yes - I know that drug - Yes you should be on it.” I am mortified at the level of research I have to do on this guys behalf but it did work.



What I do know about all of these pain meds is that they “top out” at some point of being on them. Meaning that they stop being effective because your body is too used to being on them. If it were me, I would make a list / timeline of all the pain meds I have been on, including the increasing dosage levels, and bring it into the doctor along with an article about the decreasing effectiveness of pain meds after being on them for a long period of time. But I would also have a list of drugs you haven’t tried. Maybe the next step for you might be those Fentanyl Patches.



The more patients your doctor has, the less time he has to research your specific case. So I would do the work for him and you might just get movement on the situation. Good Luck. Let me know how it goes.

While the above doesn’t answer your initial question of controlling your emotions, it appears to me that you also need help getting your doctor to listen to you and getting better pain medication to control your pain which is the root of your frustration.

4

Sending a very gentle hug your way today (((hug))). Pain is terrible and conveying how awful it can be is frustrating. Something I have done is journaling. There are several free pain apps that help me describe and track the pain. I print this information when I go to the Dr so I’m able to clearly express the type of pain and intensity. However, even with that I usually cry anyway; chronic pain and fatigue has reduced me from a vivacious fun-loving woman to a tired everything takes effort woman. I cry because of my frustration with myself and the fact that there is nothing available to help me feel like I once did.

Delores, be gentle with yourself. We’re often our own worse enemies. Know that it’s ok to cry, bc having fibro is awful. A friend gave me this quote by Maya Angelou that I have often referred to: “I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” Take care. :slight_smile:

5

You may not want to hear this but close to a year ago I was on 100mc fentanyl, vicodin 4 x a day, lunesta and others. I was in so much pain and I was on the verge of tears every time I saw my doctor as well. I told him I was done with all the medications because I didnt think it worked any more and I wasnt about to increase again. He was terribly supportive and I quit everything. I wanted to die every day for close to six weeks but my body learned how to care for itself again. I will never take pain meds again. My depression improved and my "sleep Apnea" stopped as well.

I do continue to take anti depressants and thats about it.

I do pilates, yoga and I walk daily. I moved from Phoenix to Seattle a few months ago and some days have been a challenge but I wouldn't go back to that life for anything...

If you choose to quit. I will talk and support you.

Good luck and have a beautiful day.

Keirsten

6

In addition to pain meds topping out, there is evidence that pain meds also can increase pain after a time. I think the not sleeping may be creating some problems for you as I have the same problem. I take Lunesta which only give me about 90 minutes of sleep. Maybe a medication for anxiety would help. And I agree that you might want to research and talk to your doctor about what you would like to try. They really cant know that much about medications and don't have time to do the research and see patients. I wish you well and hope that you have a few good days soon. That always helps me. Just remember not to overdo on the good days. Gentle stretching and managing stress can help.

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My dr sounds like dance mom’s. She put me on sleeping pills and took me off pain meds. I’ve tried smoking pot and nothing seems to help. My pain has gradually gotten worse. It has primarily been in my back and now all of a sudden my knee hurts and my right shoulder does if I lay on my right side. I get the full body aches also like I have the flu but it’s the other pain that is unbearable. The more active I am the worse it is.
I’m finally on some pain meds until I see my new dr to determine a plan. I am sending u hugs. I get it. I don’t think the medical field does because they don’t understand it

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I am on Lyrica and celexa.You need a med for the emotions.Don’t be afraid to ask.I argued at my last appt.My doc thinks all exercise is the answer.Your last hope is to change docs.Its not the length of time its the quality of care.

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Ps.I work and take care of a dog.

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Don't be afraid hon. If he is not listening to you . as a doctor, he should realize that pain medication will not touch the fibro pain.. I too, was in the vicious circle of the sleep deprivation. I did use sleep medication long enough to get to a better place. Tell him the way you feel.. Especially how he perceives u. Don't put him on the defensive.. But gently tell him. He also needs to see your emotions... That is part of who u are. What helped me ..I would write him a letter, print it out, take it with u to your appt. You must have a doctor with empathy not pity.. Let us know hon. We r here for u

Gentle huggs.

Karen

11

Don’t feel bad about crying. I cried one time because a doctor was nice to me because I had dealt with so many hateful doctors before him. Of course, he blamed the tears on depression but I had just prepared myself to be ready for rudeness and was caught of guard. Try another doctor who really understands fybro pain and all the symptoms. This disease causes me so much fatique and pain that I can’t work. I refuse to let a doctor rudeness make it worse. I feel those of us with fybro have enough to bare and shouldn’t tolerate rude and uncaring doctors.

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Hi,

I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. I know how it feels. I think that you should allow yourself to be emotional in front of your doctor. Let him see how you truly feel. He is the right person to be totally honest with. Letting it out will help you and it will help him know more about how bad you are suffering.

The next thing that came to mind was that if you feel that he is not listening to you and not trying to find alternative ways to help you, maybe you should look for someone else. I do not know you situation with insurance or available doctors in your area, but l hope that is something you can do.

I do not know if you have tried alternative medication (ex: homeopathy, Chinese medicine, natural supplements) sometimes using them for one symptoms may help. I was prescribed Zipoclone, which I think is Lunesta, and it worked for me. I slept and woke-up fine. Then I decided to try natural supplements, so I added Relaxamag from Wellness Recourse and I no longer need to take Zipoclone on a regular basis.

Since I have been on Cymbalta, things have been much better for me in general. Hope it continues that way. What are you taking? Maybe playing around with meds could help. It took me 4 years to find something I could deal with.

Good luck !!!

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Don't feel bad that your emotions are so close to the surface! When one is in pain and frustrated, the natural reaction can be tears. I can't remember a time where I didn't cry when talking to a doctor about the pain, lack of sleep and misunderstanding from the medical community in trying to get help. Yes, some doctors would say that it seemed like I was depressed - I would admit that I was out of frustration for not having doctors really listen to me and direct me to someone who could help me!

I only take fioricet for migraines and flexeril (muscle relaxer) for tight muscles. Everything else made me worse. Many other fibro friends after years of being medicated have completely gone off all the fibro drugs and feel better without it. You have to remember everyone is different and yes our bodies become so used to the drugs that they become ineffective.

Maybe seeing a pain psychologist, who understands a person in pain, would help. I started seeing one and was able to talk about the frustration of how doctors treat someone in pain. He listened, understood and even offered to be my advocate for all health issues. He now talks to my primary and pain management doctors to make sure they are listening to my concerns and Im getting the best treatment I can. He's got huge boxes of kleenex and thinks it is good for pain patients to cry - a catharsis to help get it out. We have enough anxiety to worry about without trying to hold in emotions!!! Hugs to you, Delores :)

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Most of the time body pain of any type can be expressed as a lack of blood flow to the area of pain, that is how asprine and other pain releavers work by reestablishing blood flow back to a area, then there is fibro-my-algia and nerve pain or peripheral neuropathy, is your nerve being damaged my inflammation and or surger diabetes or other damage environmental exposer to pollution (alergic reactions) nerves need blood flow too, I worked in aluminum and steel foundrys for 30yrs with exposer to many pollutants smoke containing all forms of gases and heavy metals. My suggestion to everyone you may need to try giving up your favorite make up or hair spray, I gave up working with welders working on cars anything I can do to reduce exposer to smoke and oil. Good luck I feel you're pain because I have it too!

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I am not sure if it will help , but I find myself getting used to my meds easily and they stop working as well. I have found a couple that work in the narcotics, musle relaxers, etc. My doc lets me rotate them every 3-6 months. This seems to keep my body from becoming immune to the effects. The emotions are just hard. Between the pain, bad winter, lack of sleep and just life in general with this we all seem to stay at the end of our ropes. Thoughts and prayers for you.

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Hi, I cry at my PCP doc sometimes too and I stopped going to the Rheumatologist after he stopped my somewhat high dose of Prozac cold turkey for Cymbalta and I almost went nuts. I take the Prozac for OCD, migraine prevention, depression. My PCP started me on Lyrica (pregabalin) several years ago which I take along with my Flexeril, and my Topomax (migraine prevention) about two hours before bedtime. By bedtime, I can't hold my eyes open. It keeps me from hurting as bad and on a good sleep schedule. I also take Vicodin "as needed" which depending on stress or weather, could be every few hours or once a day. Plus I tend to "wind down" in front of the tv in the recliner with my dog for the last two hours. That always helps.

Don't worry about crying at the doc. He needs to understand your pain. And maybe see about getting something besides just pain meds to help ward it off as well. Weather, stress, disturbed sleep all get to me still but nothing like before the lyrica.

Praying for you and sending you {{{HUGS}}}}!

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Answer to suffering with fibromyalgia

Hello, I like others are sincerely sorry to hear what you are dealing with. I too deal with a lot that you have mentioned having F/M & C/F, and as a male know that each moment or day can be a battle, and we all can get tired of being tired. I have come to find out that my body is not responsive to anything offering lasting or even a time of temporary relief, the only thing that does seem to help me to take the edge off at times is Soma. I have heard that the climate in the area ones lives in can be a factor. Hawaii really does sound great to me! ;0) LOL! What I am about to say is not with an intention to offend you or anyone else, but what I personally have found that helps me to cope with the situation I am in, and the peace I have found in the storm. With this being said... it is sometimes soo easy to dwell so much on our health that we do not have (since it is always present), that it makes it very easy to forget what we do have and the opportunities to look beyond what we feel and see. I had to consider that we are not just a body (though the body wants to rule) but we are comprised of body, soul, and spirit... and that I still do have a choice in the matter. For me personally I have found that my soul and spirit has become even stronger in these last several years even though my body is going in the opposite direction. I know this may sound "old fashioned" or "out dated" to some, but I have found that my perspective is often determined by my choices, by what control I still do have to accept or refuse many things, which in turn affect my emotions in a positive or negative way (I am not talking yin and yang here). When answers appear hopeless or the unknown seeks to torment (which is a huge area to overcome on our own) I have found that by looking to the source of hope, I have found an inner strength, a peace in the midst of this battle. The peacemaker responsible for my peace is Jesus Christ, and the more I learn the truth about Him and His desire to help us when we struggle, the more l find "when I am weaker, He does become stronger" in my life as I study and learn more of Gods great plan He has for even my life, even in my situation!. Though it does not diminish the physical pain, the spiritual side He offers helps me too put life into perspective and gives me hope that even if things do not get any better, one day life will be much more the better forever, as I put my trust in Him who is Known to raise even the dead, and not in the torment of the unknown. I am already reaping great benefits and will be rewarded even greater one day as I will have the privilege of being with Him, to be directly face to face in His presence! The cost of meds are out of control, and the cost of eternal insurance is beyond what any of us could ever come close to paying for. The good news is that the price for eternal life with God through Jesus Christ was paid on the cross 2000 years ago as God sacrificed himself, giving His all n the form of a man that we may come to Him freely, and dwell with Him forever where there will be no evil, no suffering, no pain, and yes… no taxes LOL!. We all try to cover our bases with health, car, home, flood, disaster, etc. insurance, yet the most important planning is to consider our souls eternal insurance, for the odds are 1 out of 1 that we all will eventually be a statistic. Gambling with our soul is like continually playing Russian roulette until we eventually lose. I am not talking about playing religion; Jesus Christ came down hard on religion and severely reprimanded those who "practiced" religion, for religion is only man attempting to work toward God on his own flawed terms. Religion simply put is passion without compassion, the letter of the law without the spirit (compassion) of the law involved. Jesus Christ is Gods way to man who offers a personal relationship, compassion; peace and wisdom which is sometimes so great that in this natural world that we exist in, it can seem beyond our understanding at times. I have found that while the chance is given I need to discover all the promises that I am able to hold on to, not as someone who is not incapable to think and process as one walking blindly, but with logic empowered supernaturally from the source of all that is good whom I can draw from and find peace even if my weakest moments. I have found that by starting in the book of John (the New Testament) and reading slowly (to digest truth) the journey to spiritual strength through Him became exciting and took some focus off of myself and onto the one who not only offers understanding, and help, but promises hope and to provide peace when given the chance to reveal Himself:0) I know that the best of doctors can come to the end of the line with their suggestions in treating such a diverse array of illness. This does not mean that your doctor has stopped caring, or stopped believing that you are really ill. The bottom line I have found is that I cannot put my trust totally in a person or thing for comfort, for in doing so I set myself up through expectations which often lead to a fall. My motto has become "Faith over Fatigue". Yes, this dog is going to push on and hunt by the grace of God until his tail stops wagging. 0)

Blessings to you my friend, with prayers for all,

BlessedJohn

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Can I suggest a serious twice daily meditation program to help manage your emotions and seeing a counselor to help you deal with your feelings about this diagnosis and its symptoms. Im doing both and have more help with these two things than any medication. I currently don't take meds but if I stop either of these two things I get worse so it has to be a serious part of my daily life. I started this new thing with my counselor that I do not allow myself to release adrenaline for any reason,no anger,no fear ,no excitement. Just a calm meditative and rational state of mind throughout my day. Its a difficult practice for me as Im anxious and have anger outbursts but as time goes on I am gaining more control over my ups and downs and have signifigantly less pain. Adrenaline makes fibro worse for me. So no adrenaline for me. If Im the one that releases it then I can learn to not release adrenaline into my body. It agitates the nerves. Like an alchoholic that cant have alchohol, I cant allow adrenaline into my system. Counseling helps me see why I allow myself to get emotional and she gives me new copeing and communication and boundary and problem solveing skills. So that's what Im doing. Im on a emotional healing program and not suppose to say the word fibromyalgia anymore or come on these boards LOL but Im getting better so I figured it wont hurt to come on here a bit. What I call the fibro now is Chronic Myofacial Tension syndrome. All I know is its working and Im getting better. The pain is said to be repressed emotions. Mine is deep grief and unresolved anger from past stuff and present lack of assertiveness and boundaries and not takeing care of my needs first. Counseling is very helpful for me. I had this syndrome in my twenties and was bedridden but it went away completely when I ended a bad relationship I was iun. I did not know then how to relate in a healthy self fulfilling way in my relationships. Now Im learning. Maybe none of this applies to you but Im getting better and so Im shareing what Im doing. I read freedom from fibromyalgia in 5 weeks. Well its taken me longer than 5 weeks but Im 75% better. Good luck and gentle HUGS.

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I'm sorry you are having a rough time. While reading your post I think you must like and respect this Dr. I understand that he wants you to wait...I understand the motive behind it...no treatment should be changed based on the weather...it has been a bad winter. Now, in saying that...maybe you should try the sleep meds again...something mild or an antidepressant that helps with sleep and mood...i find that i cry some with my GP...we are friends so its a little weird at times...but like all Fibromyalgia suffers...depression is the most horrible part of this illness. It effects everything....hope you find a answer. :-)

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Print this out and show him sometimes I have this problem and I dont know that its not because i am not wording things right so show him that youve reached the rock bottom and you are trying to keep from being swallowed hole by this monster called pain who refuses to let up even for a second and ask that he gives you something to at least hold u over until spring begins