Crying and feeling hopeless

I woke up yesterday barely able to walk the pain was so bad in my hips. I worked 8 hrs came home and so tired and in pain with my hips, hands, upper back. I took a 50 mg tramadol for pain. Within 3 hrs I had a severe headache, vomiting, itching and my heart felf like it was gonna beat right out of my body

What the h$%% am I supposed to take? I am crying like a baby right now. My husband had the nerve to say they wont give me pain meds because of my anxiety. Really? You kidding or serious? Not that

the goverment is making it harder for docs to perscribe pain meds but me? OK got it!

Sometimes I feel like giving the ______ up! The one person that I expect to understand doesn't have a clue. How can you not feel hopeless. My mom called today and said are you better? Like it just goes away! Please someone tell me how to educate other people! I know its not her fault. She 71 years old and knows nothing about medicine or health issues. She says she understands some people have a higher level of pain tolerance than others! Oh God I'm gonna lose it today.

I flushed the tramadol down the toilet. Now i'm just sitting in bed with my dogs ( only thing that brings comfort) crying and trying to let out the frustration by writing.

I dont beleve in suicide but sure wish there was a button to push for I give the ____ up and want out!

I had only taken tramadol one other time and it was when I was on savella and buspar so I didn't have a clue that I couldn't take it either!

Tina I understand everything you are saying, my mother is 71 and it gets really hard because she just don’t understand as much as I try to explain it to her she still just says " I don’t understand how you got this " what helps for her and my daughter is that they know other people with fibro, in both cases they seem more understanding after talking with some one else that has similar complaints.
You should have taken the tramadol back to the dr. And said I need something else, I think there is a reaction between the bus par and tramadol ? I have to look it up, but I take savella and tramadol and don’t have adverse reaction, but everyone Is different, I also see pain management , & have been given Lortab for years for my herniated & bulging discs in my neck , but the stupid Lortab gives me a terrible headache I can only take 1/2 tab, anyway last dr. Apt they offered for me to try Nucynta , I think I may try it . Can u call pain management and make apt , tell them what happened with the increase in pain from working, can you go on disability ? I worked for 2 years and struggled every step, been out since may, I want to work , but can’t imagine going back to feeling worse than I do.
You know men say some stupid things, I’m not defending him, but I’m sure it’s so hard for him to see you in pain.
I sure hope you feel better, it’s so hard to find what helps and trying to balance life with fibro, add working and it’s even harder, I got to the point that when I worked 2 days in a row, I knew I could not do anything the next few days. I never thought I would have to give up my career and the money that went with it, but fibro is cruel !
Hang in there , your not alone
Hugs & blessings

Dee the pain management doc is the one that gave me savella and buspar. When I went in to tell him how many side effects I was having and needed to go off it, his response was "Its not the medicine Tina, Its your high anxiety!

I told him I wanted to go off it anyway! He wrote me a script to go for cognitive behavioral therapy which I will not be doing. When I ask him what I could take for pain so I could work 8 days per month he gave me tramadol and a muscle relaxer.

I took a tramadol that night and was very sick but thought it was because I was still on the savella and buspar. He literally thinks all my problems are caused by anxiety! I know last night the severe headache, vomiting, itching and increased heartrate were caused by the tramadol. Obviously I cant take it at all. I was doing well after coming off the other meds. When I checked this morning these were clearly SE fo the med.

However, the pain has come back and I still need something for that esp after working all day.I'm just at a loss. I cant stand the doctor. He is arrogant and doesnt listen to anything. Thinks its all me not the meds. So he is not an option for help.

I love the work I do but more importantly I cant afford to work less than 8 days per month. I was able to drawl unemployment when I first lost my job and I had a short-term disability policy but that only lasted for so long . Now I have no choice but to work and I want to work.

I'm upset because I was hoping the tramadol would allow my to work. I'm not sure what to do next. If I were working to just enjoy extras that would be different but I'm not. We need my income to pay our expenses.

Not sure what to do next.

Dear Tina,

So sorry to hear of all this trouble with the meds! I don't know the answer, but traditional medication may not be the way for you to go, unless you have just not found what works for you!

I could not take tramadol, I just felt awful on it! I am not able to take many meds, I know when I get an infection, it is tough to go around what I am allergic to, have adverse reactions to.

Why don't they realize that intractable pain and bad reactions to the meds are the perfect recipe to high anxiety! Why is that so very difficult for these highly educated people to GET?? Geez, does it make too much sense?

I hope that you can find your footing on this slippery slope, it is not easy going with your injuries, I know. I understand back pain very well. Some days, even with meds that I can take, the stenosis just kills me! It goes beyond everything!

My only back up plan, in case my liver ever gives out on me from taking morphine and Enbrel is LDN. You cannot take narcotics with it. We have talked about it. Some can go along with the idea, some can't but I do have it in the back of my mind as hopefully a last resort, but I don't know if I am dreaming, could be.

We are here for you my friend. What you are thinking is something we have all thought at one point or the other with such injuries and illnesses.

Big hugs to you Tina,


Hoo boy! Oh Tina, how we can relate, girl! I feel sooo badly for you! And your question is SO valid. And it STINKS that we're kept from the better pain meds because of the Michael Jackson's of the world.

Have you tried sports massage or accupuncture? Maybe one of these techniques would help with your pain. I've gotten temporary relief from sports massage.

Is it possible that all of the sickness you were experiencing was due to the Tramadol and not the Savella? Do you think you could take the Savella again for the pain?

Can you go to another doctor? You definitely need someone in your corner. Maybe another doctor would help you to get a better pain mgmt option. And would believe you. And wouldn't make you feel so disheartened.

I do definitely hear you, Tina. I'm back to taking the occasional Ibuprofin, which DESTROYS my stomach because my other pain hurts so much. It's like robbing Peter to pay Paul. I so wish I had a better answer for you!

We're here to hear you, Tina. Please let it out here. We know EXACTLY what you mean. We feel your pain. We'll try to help you as much as we can. Rant away. We know. We care.

I'm sorry you are having such a tough time :/ sometime I don't think doctors actually read the side effects of medicine. I have a great GP, but she didn't know about the withdrawal symptoms of anti-depressants -.-. It isn't surprising that they try to chalk it up to anxiety, it's sure easier to say it's you than it's their precious pills! On that note though, I do believe it's good for those of us dealing with chronic pain to go to counselling. It won't fix pain, but it can help with managing the hopelessness and depression that come with chronic illness as well as teaching coping strategies.

I know with my husband, though he is wonderful, he doesn't really get it. It's helped to show him information from health sites about what fibromyalgia is and also to show him some of the studies being done using MRIs about how the brain of people with fibro actually reacts differently to pain than those without fibro. I'm thinking I might show some of the studies to my doctors come to think of it ;).

Hey Petunia,

All the problems I was having was when I was on savella and buspar for the three months. I only took one tablet of tramadol during that time.

I have not taken anything now for 4 or 5 days and the pain is back full force. Since I was not taking any other meds for pain I thought I would be ok on tramadol. So last night was only the second time I had ever taken the tramadol I did call the doctors office today to tell them what happened.

I told them to let him know that my problems were with the meds and blaming it on my anxiety was bullshit! Yes I actually used that word and it felt good to tell them just how I felt!

Dont know where I going from here but it wont be back to him!

Hugs, Tina

I wonder if you also have sensitivities/allergies to some meds? At any rate, I'm sure sorry that both meds are a big fat ZERO for you.

But at least you got it off your chest! Ha ha, lol, I wonder if that office worker had the nerve to tell Dr. Arrogance what you actually said?? LOL.

I'm glad you know what's what regarding anxiety vs. meds. Good. At least you believe in yourself and your gut. Go with it.




I have been thinking for a while about going to counseling. Do you find one that deals with chronic pain issues? I have been to counseling before when I was going through a divorce and found him to be very helpful.

I guess I could call him and see if he deals with chronic pain issues. Maybe I can learn to deal with the pain and depresion that come with it. I think that would help alot at this point.

Thank you so much for your support.

Hugs, Tina

Thanks Petunia,

Yes I did say exactly what I was thinking and didn't hold it in this time. At 52 I know what anxiey feels like and what it doesn't feel like. My feeling today was how dare he tell me again it was anxiety so I didn't even give him a chance to go there! Lol

Boy, Emma's suggestion is a good one. It's nice to have someone in your corner. Esp. when you're depressed and in pain. It's terribly hard to think straight. Maybe he can come up with ideas that you haven't.

And if he doesn't deal with chronic pain, you can ask if he knows of someone who does.

Good luck.


On a different subject entirely. I love the pics of your dogs. I'm so attached to mine. I'm holding them both in my profile picture. How many do you have? Do you find them comforting like I do?

I thank God for them everyday. My male just turned 14 in Aug and my female will be 8 in Dec. They bring me so much joy! I really dont know what I would do without them.

I just wrote a long response to you and lost it, Tina. My cursor loves to jump around and if it lands in a small rectangular blue box below the typing area of this box, your message is erased! And it happens to me a lot because I wear wrist wraps and they seem to hit the wrong key, sending the stupid cursor down into that stupid box.

I wanted to add that I too have been admiring your two little Fluffernutters for some time now. They are absolutely adorable! I can see how much positive energy you get from them and vice versa. You are kind of glowing as you hold them.

Are they Malteses? I absolutely love them! Just sweet as can be, like little teddy bears.

Well, gulp, my sis and I combined households and we have...6 dogs between us. Three chihuahuas for me, 2 cockapoos and a dachapoo for her. But we actually all share and the dogs love us all the same and vice versa. It's one big happy dog family! I will add that they're all small dogs. Some are teensy.

Yes, they do give me so much strength to carry on, Tina. I feel as you do. I was bed-bound from my back pain for ages and my kids were there with me, day in and day out, giving me love and comfort. I love even feeling their soft, warm bodies pressed against mine.

It's good that you have your kids too during this dark time. They help to give you relief from the pain and depression. They love you without fail. What better of a friend could you ask for?

I had a dream…where we got a doctor and a rheumy and a pain doc down. We poked them and pinched them and bruised them and made them cry and beg us to stop… and we all stood there triumphantly saying …SEE!! SEE!! Now imaging that everyday all day!!!

I shouldn't laugh but...OMG, so many doctors deserve this treatment!

Betcha they'd have more empathy with us if we did it.

My counselor specialises in grief I think, my GP recommended her. She has helped with teaching me coping strategies and finding a good spin on things :) she's also helped me come up with ways to better communicate with my doctors and family about what I need. She's a great person if I just want to whine about something but don't want to bother my family.

Oh what an excellent resource! Love all of it. Wish I'd known of this resource earlier, as some people here really needed something just like this. Great suggestion!

Hope you are having a better day!

Wow, GOOD for you! You're absolutely right, of COURSE you know what anxiety feels like and when you AREN'T feeling anxious. I'm mentally fist pumping for you for not allowing him to tell you how you feel and give you another wrong dx. GOOD FOR YOU. Now go get him on Tuesday!