I’ve been having a couple of bad weeks and today my husband told me he wanted to go to the movies. He told me he was going to work for 2 hrs and when he got back we were going to the movies. It took me two dose of meds to start getting ready and I was able too. 3 hrs went by so I called him and he said he was staying longer. I told him it was hard to get ready but if he wanted to stay it was fine. Because I wasn’t feeling good so I was going to bed. He said ok. I am a little upset because I feel he doesn’t understand how hard it is to make the effort to please him. So now I’m depressed and feeling left out. I just wanted to put it out there and get it out of my chest. Sorry if it’s to much negativity but I hope you guys don’t take it the wrong way. Praying tomorrow is a better day. Love and soft hugs to all.
Thank you for responding and making me feel that someone understands and is there for me when I need to vent. Truly thank you TinaWi.
Nope! Not too much negativity at ALL! =) It is hard and very frustrating! My in-laws, especially my mother-in-law, just don't get it. I have a wheelchair, so she's like we can just strap you in and we can do this, that, and the next thing. I've tried going along with her craziness at the beginning of the summer (she'd come to stay with us so I could attempt to get better - don't think we had the wheelchair yet) and I pushed my body so far one day and even though I'd rested that that night I actually couldn't even feed myself. My whole body hurt and my nerves were so worn or something from being pushed too far, past too far that it was like the brain signals were only getting halfway processed if that. It's only happened very rarely, but it's really upsetting, humiliating, etc. when it does. I've always had trouble with my legs and now I'm starting to have the same trouble with my arms. It can be very frustrating! Like now I'm also losing or having to readjust to the few things I found I could do and enjoy. Even then I think most days I "get" as much done, well it's probably pathetically little, but it's a lot more when I get up and just do stuff. Showering can be hard enough and some days I just can't. But getting all ready! Seriously, when my choices are doing x, y, and z or getting all ready for the day... I often go with x, y, and z. Not to mention I've got a two-year-old, there's so much I HAVE to be able to do that everything else gets put behind! So, yeah it's very frustrating, upsetting, maddening, and so on. And when other people just don't get it and we're doing all we can and then get dismissed or left out all together it brings all it's own emotions! On top of that we feel invalidated because this disease/illness/condition is invisible and that makes the whole being assertive just that much harder!! Seriously, shoot me a message anytime! This is dang hard and sometimes all we need is for someone to just validate and encourage us!
Sending you many warm, gentle hugs!
Butterflydragon
Thank you Lovett and Butterflydragon for taking the time an effort to respond to my message. I have a mother in law that drains me physically every time she comes an visits so I know exactly what that is like. But I really want to thank you both for taking the time to making feel like there is someone out there that is listening and understand. Thank you.
Your welcome! *Hugs*
Karlaacuna, there is definitely not too much negativity at all!! I would feel just as you did. Then when your husband didn't keep his end of the bargain and he didn't phone you to let you know I would have a hard time to keep the tears away or to say something nasty to him which isn't good and doesn't solve anything.
I'm hoping that when you have calmed yourself that you can have a chat with your husband and explain what you had to do in order to get yourself ready to go to the movie.......and then he didn't call you to discuss changes and in the end you didn't go to the movies and how that affected you. I hope he was able to understand. And I hope you have a movie date another time.
Keep smiling. And come anytime to share with us. That's what this website is for........to share and be understood.
I thank you for using the little bit of energy u have left to make me feel better. Sometimes a simple massage makes a whole day. You made my day and I thank so much.
It is really hard for family to understand our energy levels just arnt there. I try to use differnt examples in communicating them to my family, I figure maybe if I keep trying they will finally get it. Dont get too frustrated with them, they have to get used to this too, it isnt always easy for them.
Thank you FM Rattled for the amazing, thoughtful respond. You know it has crossed my mind about living alone and wondered if it could be easier or harder. I don’t know I guess I just feel overwhelmed with racing to teenagers and having my husband. Don’t get me wrong I love my family to death but I sometimes feel like I’m not doing my job as a wife or mother. Specially this last few days when I can’t get out of bed and all I can get up to get id water, a banana and a few apples. Believe me this is my whole meal because my teens are so preoccupied with homework, karate, band and all their electronics. My husband works 12 hrs shifts so he doesn’t get home until 11:30 pm so I’m stuck not having lunch or dinner. So see this is why I’ve been wondering if it would just make me feel better to live alone because I would know there is no one to give me anything and this way I’m living now I see they can but they just don’t bother to ask if I do. I might just be over analyzing things and the depression doesn’t help. Anyhow, I truly thank you for your cute teddy and your message. I hope you had a GOOD day and may tomorrow be pain fee for you. XOXO’s very softly for you.
i am understanding we are what we are only for a season just remember god is greater than our problems,people that look at us think what they will so pray sorry for short not feeling that great today my name is steven