Spent the holidays alone, unemployed and running out of money. My future is uncertain. No support from family or social services. Going crazy without the regular routine of not going to work each day. Just put on a fake face to the world everday. Nobody truly understands. No money or health insurance to continue any treatment or get medications or to see the doctor. Wishing I lived in a country where assisted suicide was legal.
Hi Dani, I am sorry you are having a really tough time. Have you talked to a doctor about how you are feeling? There are lots of medications that can help with depression / pain. I know you mentioned you don't have health insurance, have you tried to see about local or state medical assistance? There are clinics or urgent care that can help for a sliding scale or low fee. Also, anytime you are feeling really low, you can also call the assistance line at 1-800-273-TALK, they have friendly people available 24/7 to talk to. I know Fibro can be very challenging but you are tougher than it is and can get through this. For me, I spent a few years really down / desperate for any relief. Finally, I just decided I had to start making changes, including how I looked at the condition. Instead of fighting it every step of the way, I learned to listen more to my body and take steps which helped. I started practicing mindfulness techniques, worked on controlling stress, started taking walks to get the blood flowing / endorphins released, etc. It is an ever-evolving process but I can honestly say I am in a much better place now than I was before. Please keep us updated on how you are doing. I am sending you supportive hugs.
Hi . I am sending good thoughts to you for your well being and healing .
Ps Anne gave you some very good advice and suggestions.
I understand the feelings and am so sorry that you are experiencing such hopelessness. Please hang in there and continue to reach out for support. We aren’t alone, though sometimes it feels like we are. I hope you can find support locally that will help you through this dark time. Stay connected. It’s important for each of us as we learn how to live with these challenges and have victory in the midst of them.
Hi Dani . Just stopping by to see if anything has improved and mostly to say hello and send you much love .
Thanks to everyone for their replies. Didn't mean to scare anyone, just needed to vent. Survived the holidays and now preparing to go full out searching for a job this week. I only have another 2 weeks in the hotel. Preparing to go into a homeless shelter and put my stuff in storage. Told I can only take one bag into the shelter. Also told I couldn't go straight into a transitional housing program without going through the shelter first. Afraid I might be pushed to desperate measures to avoid going into homeless shelter. Praying for a miracle this week.
Also looking at possible volunteer options through my county just to have something positive to do. Going crazy sitting in my hotel room all by myself.
Been experiencing severe migraines, joint pain and shortness of breath. Also severe anxiety due to my situation. My head feels foggy and heavy on my head. Can barely stay awake sometimes. So exhausted.
Homeless shelters aren't as bad as they seem, I lived in 1 in Lincoln, NE for 3mos. I had a 9mo old & a 10yr old with me, The hardest part was letting my 10yr old take the city bus to get to & from school. Each woman is given a daily chore for 1 wk such as sweeping & mopping the hallway floor, keeping the laundry room swept & the lint catchers clean, keeping the bathrooms clean & sanitized. I did mine with a broken hand. You can offer to volunteer in the kitchen just to have something to do. There are 4 bunkbeds to each room, I & my children shared our room w/2 single ladies.
The homeless shelter has a social worker who comes in every week to help you figure the ins & outs of the help you can receive from the various agencies out there. Most of the ladies who have been there the longest will tell you which staff members are trustworthy. I kept a diary to keep myself sane.
I know it is tough living in this world we have to live in, "We will do better when we know better." Dr. Phil McGraw. I have hit rock bottom 6 times in my life so far. My children kept me picking myself up, dusting myself off & charge ahead like a bull in his prime.
The 3 books I wish for you (of which I found in a used book store) "You can heal your life, by Louise L Hay" & :"Self Matters by Dr, Phil McGraw" & "Positive words, powerful results by Hal Urban".
If I may, you can friend me & we can talk - I don't have all of the solutions, I am not a mental health therapist, I am just a human trying to help the best way I know how. M
Luna: Thank you for sharing your experience. I tried one more time to reach out to my older siblings but they turned me away knowing I had no other options. My heart feels crushed because now I realize I have no one in this world that will love or support me. Not sure why. I don't have a history of instability, only these last few months while I've been dealing with my health issues. I wish I could be the one in a position to help them instead of the one needing help. I would never turn anyone away. Trying to prepare mentally and physically to go into homeless shelter by this Saturday. And have to figure out how to get my belongings into storage.
The worst part is that I was offered a full time job with benefits, but the start date was delayed until the 19th of this month, and if I go into a shelter I would have no way to get to my job or maintain my job.
I have no children so the only shelters available are the ones you can only stay at night and you have to carry your stuff around during the day. I wish there were more transitional shelters or goup homes available for single people with special needs like me.
I'm almost out of miracles, and trying to find the strength to keep going.
I, too, had no family members to help me & children I had thot that no one would "let" my children, have to live in a homeless shelter. I was so desperate that I started calling friends of my sons' dad to see if I could set up a group of people we could stay with, a week at a time so as not to drive folks CRAZY & still stay out of the homeless shelter. Nope.
It wasn't until 12yrs later that - That, was a teaching opportunity for my Soul & Mental Wellbeing. It didn't FEEL like it at the time. I felt as if God had abandoned me. When friends & family shook their heads at me & no matter how much I begged God to help me......there was NO help!
Could you talk to the person who offered you the job & see if you could get help to stay in a hotel until you have the means to get something better? If you are gonna lose the job if you have to live in the shelter, why not give it a try?
As long as you do the BEST that you can do. If this is a teaching lesson for you to learn, or you are the teacher, then there is no such thing as wasted time.
"We are all students & teachers. What did I come here to learn & what did I come here to teach?"
~ Louise L Hay ~
Lately, everyone seemsto think I'm crazy, and I'm starting to believe it. I had to call out work both Thursday and Friday because I couldn't get help with moving my things into storage, and so had to do all the lifting and moving on my own, which
left me in the bed for the next two days. I told my sister I was thinking of quitting my job because of the pain I go through everyday, and she said I need to stop the cycle of quitting jobs and that she and the rest of the family wouldn't help me. Well, if theyd help me move then I wouldn't have to take off days from work. Ive tried all the suggestions already, calling the crisis center and going to social services and even going to the doctor. But there doesn't seem to be any clear answers. If anyone knows of any support groups in Maryland or the DC area, preferrably during the weekends, because im too tired and sick to do anything after work. All the homeless shelters are closed for the spring and summer, so don't know how im going to do this on my own.
The moderators keep censoring and closing down my posts which also makes me feel like people don't want to listen to me even on this group. Im not going to censor my feelings and if I cant express myself here, I dont know where else im supposed to.
What I really want to say is just forget this life and let me go to the next, maybe ill have a better chance surviving in another world. Especially since no one really knows or cares about me in this one.
They'll probably censor this one too since im so crazy.