History: My husband used to be a medical assistant for rheumatology and actually diagnosed me and got me into see one of the top fibromyalgia doctors at the Oregon Health and Science University. Formally diagnosed in 2004. I have since had two children disabled and done so much to hopefully feel better. Breast reduction 2005, 1st.child 2007 w/high BP and gestational diabetes wight gain upto 275, gastric bypass 2009, lost 130lbs in 2yrs. Had my 2 nd child 2001. I have as of gained 55lbs back. I can’t exercise except in a pool. I have a 2 1/2yr old boy who is all boy. Can’t afford gym memberships and being a stay at home mom is really exhausting.
My husband over the years have been getting less supportive and decreased in compassion.
Prior to this illness I was active cross country runner/track long distance runner in high school and was in the Army for (1993-1997) 3+yrs. I ended up with Migrains and tendinitis in both feet and knees from the army.
Since the army I (1998-2010)Worked in retail, assisted living caregiver and a medical assistant for 4+Yrs used up all my family medical leave right after my first child was born. Do to days off before pregnancy and modified bed rest during last trimester. I tried going back to work when my daughter was 18mo. My pattern of extrem pain comes about 3 months of work whether put or ft. Tried retail then in 2009 went back to school to be a medical biller hope for a sit down job. Well then worked in a hospital Emergency room for about 4 myths before I was let go do to absences. Knowing my history I then decided to apply for disability November 2010.
So know my marriage has really been tough since we had kids. My husband has been a hospital nurse since 2007 and works 3/ 12hr days and 1/ 4-6 or day. I understand he needs to rest to from work but I get the feeling he doesn’t understand what It takes for me to be a stay at home mom and that I feel guilty everyday for the things I can’t do with my children, husband and family. That each day is a battle of decisions.
I agree 100%!!! My sweetheart does everything for me and never ever complains one bit…I do see the frustration on his face though when I’m smacked with that truck and can hardly walk down the hall to the bathroom. It hurts my heart for about one second but then I know it’s because he can’t fix me. He is also in the medical field and is completely in the know about my issues He has always been a fixer, will always be a fixer. It’s not that our helpers don’t love us…it’s that they love us to much!
My advice to all of us is to (when you are feeling halfway human)…take an evening and my your husband feel like king of the world. Show him and tell him out loud how much you appreciate every thing he does and then stop talking about if all together. Have a few laughs, talk about some silly stuff and reconnect. You will both benefit and be richer for it. Blessings…Bevie xoxoxo
Some times our spoucess get frustrated that they can not help more. It is hard for them not to make things better have you tried to talk with him. I am a nurse and my mother has dementia and other illnesses and i no how frustrating it is trying to help her and i tend to get mad at myself because i feel i should be doing more and the nurse in me no's what some of the illness can do as they get worst. Try talking to him
