When we feel jealous

Hello friends. Today a MUCH younger cousin announced him engagement. I am truly happy for both of them. BUT i cannot help feeling jealous. Sometimes I get so consumed with my illness and taking care of myself that I forget about the normal and nice things that happen in life. I am 41 and never married. I am not saying that I give up hope to find the right man, but I ask DOES IT NEED TO BE SO HARD. I mean, really...does everything need to be a challenge. Sometimes I get so mad. We all deal with so much that is really difficult that I would like to have some things in life go smoothly. Anyone else have similar thoughts?


Yes, Maria. I know I do. I so wish I'd had another child (I only had one, then divorced when he was 2.) I'm going to be 50 in a matter of days and know that even though it's technically still possible, it's not going to happen and I feel a lot of pain about it. Of course, having fibro would make it pretty difficult anyway...but yes, I feel jealous of people who had normal marriages, kids, careers, friends...yep. You betcha.

You still have time though. I won't promise false hope but if you want to find someone and have kids, it's still possible. That's a good thing. I feel like that's your blessing. Time is still on your side. It may sound a bit silly but trust me, it isn't. It might be difficult to find someone but maybe if you hook up with other fibro groups, you might just find someone. Or just some kind guy who likes helping others. My next door neighbor is like that. His wife has hand fibro for 30 years. He thinks the world of her. They're out there.

Oh yes! All the time. Everyone else has all the energy and health and opportunity in the world and I feel like I'm being left behind too. It would be great to meet Mr Right. It would be nice if some things would be a little easier for us. Even if we're blessed with an extra couple of hours sleep we still feel like crap. I would never wish the fibro on anyone else but if they just had a week or month of it as a trial they would maybe then understand what we suffer and that the most basic things are difficult for us. And when you sort one problem it creates another one doesn't it. Grrrrrr. Like just going to the shop, even with a shopping list, then get home and realise you've pigging forgot something. And you can't go back coz u feel awful, so it's another mission you haven't got the time or energy for. It's good though if you can be around positive and helpful people to experience some happy things in life, instead of the whiney healthy people. I haven't got time for them.

Dear Kit,

You are so deserving of a good guy! They are hard to come by, but out there, usually you meet them when you least expect it! Now that you have the cast off and are getting the leg back in shape, you will be able to soon be out and about again. Seldom heard of any of them knocking on your door, girlfriend, so just put it in your very intelligent head that when getting the leg back in action, you need to start going out for coffee or tea, or a mocktail, or a coctail, depending on the meds, and meeting and greeting people!

I met my husband in an antique shop! It was an immediate friendship, and one of the things we still enjoy when I can go out in the car. You have a great city, full of museums! It was on my list of cities with the best museums, haven't made it back yet, hope the Enbrel will do the trick!

I know that the internet is where many people now meet, but to me, nothing like the person to person thing! Nothing like feeling that 'click'!

Who knows who you may meet at the wedding! Time to start looking for a beautiful dress! Be good to yourself!

Stay positive, you're a great gal, someone is bound to notice that!



Fantastic post, SK! Really says it all.

Jo, I like that phrase, "the whiney healthy people" Thank you

Thank you Sue,

What a great story, meeting in an antique shop. I heard of a woman who turned 40 and said to God, "if u want me to remain single, I am ok with it" Few months later, meet her husband---IN A MCDONALDS--love Gods sense of humor

I’m still new to this whole thing, but I do know a thing or two about finding a guy. I met my husband at a bar (neither of us were drunk) I was working there and he wanted to talk. So my only advice is find places where you can meet people in a crowd. I hate the noise in most bars, but they have nice speed dating things and wine bars tend to attract people who arn’t alcheholics. Anyways good luck and I hope life brings you all the happiness and joy you deserve :wink:

Thank you Katie...I also have a friend who met her husband at a bar