Wow! That was difficult!

Hey all,

Controversial material ahead...

I have not really been on here since July or so because well I didn't want you all to know.. I got pregnant but ended up needing to get a termination. While pregnant I had seizures due to hormones (I am epileptic controlled by meds.. then August rolls around and my neurologist got me in for a week long study where I am slowly taken off my meds to see how I react the entire time connected to an EEG. During that stay I had approximately 9 grand mol seizures. And so the week after I get out I had to go to school and walking was beyond challenging and I started using a wheel chair and doing exercises at home to strengthen.Thankfully at this point I have strengthened enough to get t using just a cane for a bit of a distance but it's hell and all of this was so scary. And recently my boyfriend broke up with me so there's an emotional whirlwind and of course it's midterm week oh and my license has been taken too. I am in a ton of pain and it feels so impossible, so often. But I've been getting through this all and I think I am just getting stronger and stronger.

Thanks for reading my rant and if you have any suggestions please comment!

Dear Shawna,

I am so very sorry to hear of all of this! I know how hard you are working to complete your college. So sorry for the loss of your child and your boyfriend, and the siezures, but so very glad to hear that you are coming out from under it.

All of this trauma is so very difficult to deal with, but I know that you are very strong and determined, I recognized that in you immediately, and I am so glad to know that you are giving life your all!

If all of this builds strong character, and compassion, you would have to be one of the best people on earth, I think we have quite a collection of those wonderful people here, and you have always been one.

Chin up, keep up the progress, and come to us anytime! We are ALWAYS here for you!

Love and hugs,

SK

So sorry to hear about all you’ve endured. Just know people do care and your attitude is just extremely brave and touching to me.

Thank you so very much! :)

Thanks SK this means so much to me!

Rants are a good way to deal with emotions. My niece lost her license for a year do to seizures she is now controlled by medication and has had her license back for about a year. I hope things improve for you.

Wow ! Sometimes when it rains it pores ! I’m so sorry to read about the rainstorm your going through at the moment. A true example of “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Please remember that ranting on this site is kind of what its all about. Everyone here knows that ranting is exactly what we need at times. I wish I had some answers for your troubles but all I can say is we are all here for you.

God bless,

Michelle

Wow ! Sometimes when it rains it pores ! I'm so sorry to read about the rainstorm your going through at the moment. A true example of "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Please remember that ranting on this site is kind of what its all about. Everyone here knows that ranting is exactly what we need at times. I wish I had some answers for your troubles but all I can say is we are all here for you.

God bless,

Michelle

Thank you! and you are right, rants are great!

Thanks and yeah it does feel like a thunderstorm but whatever! I gotta deal with the lightning! :P

Hey Shawna, sorry you’ve gone thru such a tough time, but it sounds like you have a really excellent attitude, and like you’ve been making mature, smart decisions all along - even if some of them have been hard. Controversy or not, YOUR life is of paramount importance, and escalating, uncontrolled epilepsy could have cost you AND the baby your lives. My one suggestion is, from now until whenever all your docs give you the green light for another pregnancy, take double & triple precautions where it comes to birth control - if I remember correctly, they don’t even like you to conceive on some of the seizure meds (like depakote), much less carry to full term. But it sounds like you have a great neurologist, too, an in my experience one of those I’d worth his weight in gold!

Keep in touch with us here - and I haven’t looked, but I’d be willing to bet there’s also a support group here on Bens Friends for Epilepsy - there seems to be one for just about everything! You might find some people there who’d been thru very similar experiences. Take care! hugs

Thanks so much hun! The little thing I don't think I mentioned is I don't really want a child especially with my medical conditions and age.

Bless your heart Shawna - I am so very sorry. You have had a lot come at you at once. It is so true that what does not kill us makes us stronger. You hang tight Sweetie and take care of you!! Be kind to yourself and keep getting better.

Love and Hugs,

Linnie

Just look at this all of this love! Haven't you missed us? We surely have missed you! Please don't be a stranger, it's so wonderful to have all of these warm, caring people rooting for you!

Thanks hun, that is so sweet.

I am so sorry to hear you have had to go through all of this! Your attitude is great, I'm not sure I would be so positive with so many terrible things going on at once. Rants are good for the soul. Keep on keeping on!!

Thanks! I am controlled by meds again and have been for a month. I am in business administration majoring in marketing. Hugs.

You rant all you want to. You are allowed to here!

I'm so sorry for the loss' you have experienced. And it seems like all of these things have happened so fast. All since July? Sweetie, just sit back and allow yourself some time to process all of this.

If your pain is mainly fibromyalgia pain you might ask one of your doctors about the LDN (Low Dose Naltrexone) that some have talked about on here. I started taking it a few weeks ago. I am still at a minimal dose, which will be increased in incriments, but am having great relief from it. Just a thought for you.

http://med.stanford.edu/snapl/research/ldn.html

Keep your chin up Shawna. And congratulations to you for continuing through school through all of this. You can do it! Here's to getting stronger!

Kitty

Hi Shawna,

First let me say that I'm sorry about your abortion. That had to have been extremely hard.

Secondly, I'm sorry that your seizures have been off the wall lately. I hope they're better and you're back on your meds. ( I'm guessing that it would be hard for anyone on here to get off their meds.) I'm presuming that you knew of the risk of seizures as you were on anti-seizure meds but the experience must have been terrifying. Unless you don't remember what happened during them. Are you any better? I would think so or you wouldn't be going on campus. So that's very good!

So sorry to hear of your breakup and loss of license. That has to su...stink!!! I had to take a competency test to keep mine but I barely drive anymore. It must be darned hard to want to go somewhere but have to wait for someone to bring you. I hope and pray that at some point your situation improves enough for you to drive again.

And I'm sure you'll be going through rough times due to breaking up - it's kind of like withdrawing from pain meds in that it causes you pain, you don't want do go through it but it sucks you in regardless. So here's to you - and a nice strawberry margarita or a virgin one if you don't drink. You deserve some time to get over your grief so be extra good to yourself right now.

That's good that you've gone from wheelchair to cane. That's a big difference! ( I now have a wheelchair for distances but use my cane for very short jaunts. I got the wheelchair in bright red.) I shouldn't say this but I feel comforted knowing that someone else also uses a wheelchair as I feel a bit ashamed to use one at so young of an age. Was it hard for you to accept that you needed to use one?

You seem to have gone through one heck of a lot in a short period of time. Don't be surprised if you do have some feelings come up after the fact. That can be a pain but they go away a lot faster if you just deal with them.

Ugh, mid-term week! That's stressful enough as is. Try to relax a bit - an engaging book is good, then do your best. You're getting there, Shawna! Stay strong!

SG, There are plenty of men. Get you one who will take care of you. Stay in school. You form lasting friendships there.