Hello,
I am 24 and have a 1 year old daughter. I was wondering what your biggest struggle is with every day mommy life.
Hello WonTaun! Well, I'm not 24 anymore but I raised 4 children as a "single married parent". My husband spends over 300 days a year on the road.
I've been a FM sufferer since the 80's. My daughter has had Fibro since her 2nd of 3 children was born. She has a heart condition, bulging/ruptured discs, migraines, kidney disease... She works full time, so does her hubby. Her brother and I watch the kiddos while they work. I'd have to say that my biggest challenge is with my youngest grandchild (4). I put together a craft basket with everything from soup to nuts and if I'm flaring or not 100%...keeping her pleasantly occupied is paramount. A whining child just wears ya down. Sometimes I just have to "care" for the kids and not worry about housework/chores getting done. When I have all 4 to contend with it gets a little bit more complicated. I try not to get myself feeling rushed and if I can get the kids used to a "ritual" it takes the guess work out of "what comes next"
Now I would say that my daughters' biggest struggle and one I would have to agree I had raising my 4 is "how the heck do I keep up, I can't keep up"
Your situation is different from ours but you're not unique so I would imagine you will get lots of responses and I hope lots of help.
Plain and simple, you have to cut yourself some slack. After a 10 hour day...what do you have left to give your child? You both have been missing each other all day and when you get home you get "bumm rushed" by your darling that missed you so much and you them but.....dinner, laundry, housework, prep for the next day....all await you and you just want to sit and snuggle.
I'd say, go for the snuggle! Choose your other battles by priority or procrastination....I'm a great big procrastinator....runs in the family lol!
We choose our battles carefully. We want not to deplete all our energies in one place...that only serves up massive stress into the mix. Stress = strain Strain = pain Try not to sweat the small stuff and there is always the hour or two you get after you've put your child down for the night, that you can be productive and knock off stuff from your list.
I don't know if any of this helps....I've got back-up at my house, thank God, or I couldn't manage, not anymore...my own kids ran me ragged, now my G-Babes are 4,6,9 and 12 and they've got wicked skills.....their Uncles thought it was funny to teach their nieces and nephews all of their rotten little tricks....it was funny until my daughter and I started to turn the tables....The "uncles" now put in equal time with the kiddos and the Karma ;) LOL! They really are wonderful with the kids...we are very blessed.
What are the things that challenge you, my friend? We might be able to give some suggestions... Anywho,...Welcome to the group again. So glad you are here and that you're not shy about using the site for what it is intended to be used. That's awesome!
Take care today...hope this finds you feeling warm and well.
PeacenLove Always~Laurel
Hi WonTaunTaun,
I'm 29, have a 7 year old, a 2 year old and have had Fibro for ten plus years. Man it's a struggle!! My two-year-old is usually pretty good at entertaining herself - her sister was another matter. My biggest struggle I think it not being able to keep up, to play with them and just be a mom. The house works always slides which can be frustrating, but if the choice in energy is housework or kids, spend it on the kids. House work will be around forever, kids won't. I think it helps them know that though mommy's sick and can't do much or is limited or what have you that they mattered enough to have the energy spent on them. Does that make sense?
When I could do more I tried to tidy things up, cooked once or twice a week and froze up what I could - usually I made extra large amounts of whatever and that's what we ate. Things are worse for me now, so my husband has to do the cooking. He and our seven-year-old do pretty much all the housework - I switch laundry when I can or "little" things like that. Our apartments small enough it's usually not to hard to do a quick clean up at night.
I used to burn myself out with trying to keep up and now my body simply won't go along with that idea anymore. =/
Tips I think are worth it, are having easy go to meals handy, using or at least having on hand paper and plastic (I know it's not environmentally friendly, but dishes are our killer and more than anything else it's impossible without the disposables). Really cutting yourself a lot of slack and being willing to let things get done as they do however they do. I was a bit of a neat freak, got it from my Dad, I had to really work on letting others help out and doing it their way even if it messed things up or what have you.
I think at the moment everyday life is having to tell me girls "I can't" and not being able to let my little one get outside, like at all. Poor kids gets so coop up stuck in the same 4 walls day after day with me. =/
What's the hardest part for you right now with a 1 year-old? They get into everything and make every task ten times harder!!
Big gentle hugs!!
Butterflydragon