Hey all. I came back across this site in my bookmarks and remembered what a cool bunch of people were here. I've had a cruddy couple of years since I was last here. I think about the time I dropped off was either right before or right after my mom passed away suddenly from COPD. (She smoked all her life) That was very hard to cope with. Then, about 6 months later, I lost one of my darling kitties, Lynx, to liver disease. He was the one who always cuddled with her and was her lovebug. Later we got another cat, Varric, to keep my older one, Teeshie, company. Very early this year, I lost my older cat to old age. (15 and a a half) That broke my heart, I'd had him since he was 8 weeks old. Several months later, we got a younger cat (Zoey) from the same shelter as where i got Varric. She was an amazing lovebug, very cuddly and affectionate. Within 2.5 months, she died from fatty liver disease. I still have Varric, but that's not where it ends.
My sister who lives in another state has had breast cancer for just over 2 years. Over that time, it's metastasized to nearly everywhere in her body, including her bones. I went to see her in June for two weeks, it was wonderful, but she's deteriorating rapidly now and likely won't make it to Halloween. (3-4 weeks at most) We're incredibly close and I miss her so much, but finances are such that the "last" trip I take to see her is the only one I can afford. She's living with a mutual friend and is very comfortable. Hospice care where she is currently is of such a quality that I am extremely impressed. They've done everything for her. I've found a company to transport the cat she's leaving to me, to me in late October.
Needless to say, the stress, though, is causing havoc with my fibro. I'm the kind of person that powers through a crisis and takes charge, then breaks down once it's over. Between the depression, the pain, the insomnia, the exhaustion, everything else, I'm worried I won't be able to deal with it even though I know I'll have lots of help. Then I feel guilty for being "whiny" because hey, at least I'm not dying, right? Sigh. My significant other is very supportive, but nothing will make it not happen, of course. At least he steps up and does more around the house and things. But I do believe the stress and everything is causing what's feeling like a near-constant flare. I'm just so darned tired. Anyhoo, I'm back. Hi.