I often (aka every day) find myself thinking that if it weren't for my daughter, I wouldn't be here. I'm only 23 years old, and I hardly have the energy to work. Sometimes it hurts just to play with my 20 month old daughter. I get tired so easily. My body hurts. I get so irritable. I forget to do simple things.
If my daughter wasn't here, I would give up the strength it takes every day to push forward. There would be no reason. I already have no idea how I'm going to go back to school in the fall.
This disease is so depressing. And you feel so alone.
Just wanted to let you know that i'm thinking of you.
One way I chase away the blues is to go to Ebay and look at postcards of my favorite childhood place. In fact, I've even started collected some and ma put them together as a scrapbook. You could also do this with places you've been to as an adult that were happy/meaningful to you.
I also saw a program recently that took people on a tour of the Louvre art museum in France. It was a fantastic show because I got to see places that I can't currently get to but want very much to see. I would think you could find similar things on Youtube. You can also learn to do things on Youtube, like knitting. It's a great way to redirect your brain, if you're not in too much pain.
Fibroerr, I'm so sorry you're struggling right now. I think many of us get to a point where we just can't seem to get out of that valley. My rheumy told me years ago that anyone living with a chronic pain condition should expect to have a time of depression. I was taking care of my dying mom and not handling that and the additional pain very well. I completely broke down in his office. I'm thankful for those tears now. I've learned that it's okay to cry; it's okay to cry out to God; it's okay to get angry; it's okay to get down; it's okay to ask for help- it's just okay! And it WILL be okay!
Please take the advice someone gave of reaching out for help. Call the number on the home page or someone close to you. Most importantly, call your doctor and tell him how you're feeling. Don't be afraid to take an antidepressant to get you through this time. It may even help with some of the pain you're having right now.
Hang in there and know that you are not alone in this! We are here for you! We truly understand exactly how you're feeling. Know that I'm praying for you tonight and will continue to do so! We don't always understand why we're here and our purpose, but God does have a purpose for your life. You'll be able to look back and see how the struggle have made you stronger and has enabled you to help others.
I'm new to all this as I have just joined forum and was only diagosed in January after 5 years of tests and seeing different doctors. Over the past 5 years I have often felt this way and felt I was losing my mind at times. In worst times I didn't know what to do then a close friend advised me to scream and scream and let it all out. Sometimes it helped. Always remember you are a beautiful and valuable person and the world would be worse without you. You have a lot to offer, being on this forum and helping others to deal with this is one of the most worthwhile things you can do, the courage you are showing in being able to ask for help is an example for all.
Hi Annann,
Thank you so much. I have been up and down with this since I posted and I’m trying so hard. Its been a struggle. I appreciate that you thought of me. Thank you for your advice and I’ll do my best. I might even try and scream once in a while. : )
I’ll keep in touch. Take care. Fibroerr (Lisa )