I'm a positive person I really am ....I'm just so discouraged right now. Sometimes I cant help but think I'm better off dead.
I feel this for so many reasons. I' ve tried to be positive through thick and thin, I have seeked out God, I have spoken out on here on this site ( which was really hard for me) , put my trust in a friend to explain what having fibromyalgia is like. I do for others and am there for them no matter what is going on with me.
Everyday I wake up to something wrong with my body and im tired.
Im tired of fighting. My pain has been so bad lateley.I am doing all that I can do to take care of myself . life just isnt cutting it anymore. I honestly dont know how much more I can take.
Hi fibro err, hang in there, I do understand where you’re coming from, I said to my husband as we came out of the gym today " why am I doing this to myself, I’m not getting any stronger", I was basically in tears. He smiled and responded " for me?"
I find my drugs and fibro, do something to my brain and can make me pretty emotional. We can’t always be positive, but tired or not we need to look after ourselves and keep fighting for those days when it’s better.
Have you contacted your doctor(s) or people who support you to see if they can help you through this difficult time. If you’re more than discouraged, please seek professional help to guide you through this.
Asking for help from others is difficult whether it be directly or even on the forum, but we are here if you need to really vent or see if anyone has tips to help you.
it is hard to go through what we go through it is bad right now and might be bad for a long time but eventualy u will find right combo of meds that will make your life better and make u a better person for working through it stay strong dont give into the pain we have all thought about it
if ur really thinkin about doing something go to the er right now or call 911 or call someone to watch over you i have had to do it more than once it is nothing to feel bad about it if you need help right now go get it please
i totally understand how u feel. i am glad to see that u r not harming yourself. please try to think of the good in your life. i know when our pain is so bad we often think we will never feel good again. maybe try writing down the good things in your life it will help.
there is a number on the main page for when we feel like we r at the end of our rope. i have called many times they do help. i even programed their # in my phone. please call them if u feel like u need someone to talk too. they r there 24 hours a day.
i have found that music can help when i am really down. just be careful cause some songs can make u feel worse. i posted a song on the main page where we can post songs. the name is "every storm runs out of rain" its a country song and it may help.
i can give u my number and u could call anytime. i will send u a friends request and then i can send u my number in a privite message. let me know if u would like me to give u my number. i know some people dont like being on the phone.
(B2chi, Brent and Eeyoreluver ) you all have given me things to think about. Thank you very much. I am doing my best but the pain is really messing with me. In a very dark place and I am scared that I won’t be able to live like this anymore. I’m sorry if this is depressing and negative . The last thing I want to do is be negative but honestly I’m so scared at what my future might be like… If any of you pray , please please pray for me. Thanks again . You really are appreciated. Lisa
Youve got my prayers and thoughts. I know that you are stronger than you think - its a rough time right now. Do you see a therapist? If so, now would be a good time to talk to them. If not, and the pain is more than you’ve ever had - maybe it’s time to hit the ER. Don’t worry about the future - just think about today. We all need to live day to day with Fibro. We never know what condition we will wake up in, or with no sleep, it only gets worse. If you want to talk, please message me and I’ll send you my phone number - I’d be happy to talk and laugh with you To better tomorrows - and many tiny hugs~ Sandi
I know where you are coming from, I am so tired of fighting too. Getting up everyday, feeling like "Oh God, what will happen today?". I even find myself praying for the day to be over just so I can sleep (even then I can't but I am hopeful) and wake up and hopefully feel better. I have been in this place, escpecially now that the one thing in my life that made my day something to look forward to, is gone :(. But I am still here, and I am still fighting. Even though my family ( Mom, Dad, Brother) don't talk about my illness or acknowledge it half the time, they are still important to me and I think, there has to be something out there, one day, that will let me finally live my life with more comfort. I think it's that little bit of hope that has kept me going. Try going for a short slow walk and clear your mind. Even if it's to the end of your driveway. Think about what you want to accomplish and set small goals for yourself to get there. I am a teacher and I cannot teach full time, but I have found a way to still teach (part time) and still enjoy it. I will pray for you, I am not very religious...but getting there. I hope you feel better. I hope something in life changes to lessen your pain. :)
Also, I haven't tried this, but my mom had fibro too, accupuncture got her out of bed with her fibro. I was thinking of trying it too. Just an idea :) It's very relaxing too!
I too can understand how trying it is to fight with this pain day after day. People just dont get it and I understand that. If you dont live with it you just cannot comprehend what it is like to be constantly in pain. When I say to a friend, that all my pain meds do is my pain somewhat tolerable, but it is never completely gone. They look at me like I have three heads! I only tell you all of this so that you will know that I truly do understand how you feel. You have been given lots of good advice so I am not going to offer you anymore advice but the one thing I can do for you is pray for you. So know that I am praying for you. Please keep posting. We are all hear for you.
Yes, I know about chronic pain and the AMA run around involved in getting to the cause of it, then what to do about the cause of it. There really is a lot that is lacking in good care and ability to make more precise and concrete diagnoses.
I think I'm on the way to going back to the neurosurgeon as I think the spinal degeneration is getting out of hand. It is past medicine. I say this not to upset you, but so that you know that I understand the pain, and what most of us go through for someone to believe that we are in such pain, then wait, and wait for them to determine what can be done.
Seems that until our very heartbeat is threatened we hang in limbo for years on end, and we get more frustrated, more depressed. Can't give up though! Just cannot!
I'm going to L-Kitty's page to look for that place that will find you a Dr who takes your insurance.
You are having a really tough time; I was almost where you are a few weeks ago when I found this site--had a terrible day at work because I came to the realization that fibro-fog and the chronic pain making me gritchy was interfering with my work. It is tuff, but something else I found was a note from a dear friend from years ago when my Dad passed:
'Remember, no matter what is going on it is important to take things one day at a time, if you can't do that then take them one hour at a time, or one minute at a time, or even one breath at a time'
Not sure why, but this helps me now too, I hope it helps you
Hi Lisa, I know living with fibro is more than just a challenge ! It’s a process of learning what helps and what doesn’t. And I think we all have those moments that we wonder is this my life ?? How can I live like this ? And I think if we allow ourself this thought process, with the intent to not let it control us… We can keep fighting, fighting for what we can call our Norm ! There is hope ! There are things that can help, and I think for me not allowing those nasty dark thoughts in, has helped a lot. I know that with those thoughts comes more pain… Both physical & emotional !
I’m so glad you flagged me to chat, and I look foreword to getting a message from you, we can help each other !
My prayers are there for ya !!! For sure
Hugs & blessings
dee
Sorry that you feel like this,I wish that I could instantly lift the feeling even if only for a moment. Sometimes but of course not always tiredness equates to depression, do you think that this could be what’s happening for you? If it is, perhaps it’s time for some anti depressants, if it’s not, I understand that too, because I have experienced that awful chronic fatigue, what a dreadful feeling it is. For chronic fatigue it’s a matter of one day at a time, and the belief that it will improve. Because it eventually lifts, and just as well. Hope that helps Barb.
I've felt this way myself when the pain got too unbearable. It's the pain talking. It's not what you really want at all. It's just the pain taking over.
I went to my doctor and asked for an increase in my anti-depressant. I said to her, "If I can't have the pain adequately treated, I want to feel like i can at least handle it emotionally." So she upped my meds. And it has helped. I DO have more patience and ability to handle my pain when my anti-depressant dosage is right. It really, REALLY helps. Would this be something you might consider?
The other thing I do is read a lot online, to distract myself from the pain. If it's too bad, I try to sleep. Sometimes ice helps with the pain.
Please please remember that the pain is doing this to your poor mind. And why should you have to give up? So the fibro pain can win? There are ways to deal with mental stress caused by physical pain, which I'll be learning and will share, if you like. We need to feel that we can reestablish some control over our own lives. We do NOT need the pain to push us into a dark corner.
If you do get to feel that you are going to hurt yourself, please please call 1-800-273-TALK. You absolutely deserve to talk to someone who knows what you're going through mentally and can help.
I totally agree, Petunia. It is the pain, it causes such a chain reaction of emotions, and in the end, this emotional avalanche just intensifies the pain, no area of our lives are left unharmed by this either.
Having at least ONE Doctor who believes you, believes in you can make a tremendous difference in how we feel too, being ill treated, only makes us more ill.
Fibroerr, were you able to use the link from L-Kitty to find a Dr in your area that takes your insurance? I certainly do hope so. Let one of us know if you need more help with this, with finding a Rheum in your area that accepts your Insurance. There must be more of these sites available. Please let us know should anyone be familiar with such a resource.
I hope that you are able to get to a good Dr, and get some substantial relief very soon. You know that you can post anytime and we will be there for you. Go to Urgent Care or the ER if you must.
Just letting you know that I understand and am praying for you. I want to encourage you to hang in there and keep talking to us. We are here for you. I believe God hears us. Sue.
I understand your feelings. I can't help but feel the same way too - a lot of the the time anyway. It just gets so exhausting and to think of having to live a lifetime like this seems like hell on earth. I consider myself to be a really positive person and I (like you) am always the one to be there for others no matter what I am feeling. I don't think anyone can fully understand what it is like to feel the pain that we feel. No one in my family and none of my friends understand - that's for sure. But I believe and I hope you do too that God understands. You have to know that no matter what you are going through right now God loves you and is there for you. It is a sad fact of life that we suffer in this world. Life is unfair - its just a matter of fact. But, you are brave - I can tell by your words. You can get through this - one day at a time or one moment at a time if you have too. Just keep telling yourself - you are here for a reason and God cares about you. And...make sure you are taking time for you. Don't push yourself to be there for others when you are really tired. You are just as important and anyone else. Rest when you feel like resting and don't feel guilty about it. It may take some practice....but you can do this! Life, even with all of its sufferings, really is still worth living. I have this picture hanging up in my living room. I bought it about a year ago when I was feeling so depressed and discouraged with the pain....like you are now. It says this - LIVE: Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love, to work, to play, and to look up at the stars. Its a quote by Henry Van Dyke. I read it often and remember, Well...I remember simply - TO LIVE
Just want to tell you, thank you very much for your insightful and kind words. I am very luck to have people on here in my path that help so much. Thanks you again. Love Lisa
To better tomorrows - and many tiny hugs~ Sandi