Sorry but I need to vent. I am getting more and more depressed as time goes on. I'm finding it more and more difficult to do things. I am in so much pain all of the time. I do have some "good" days where the pain isn't as bad. I'm trying not to complain to people and I'm trying to continue doing things without letting fibro get in the way. But it's soooo hard. I feel so isolated because i've noticed that people don't want to hear me complain. I am amazed at how insensitive people are! I have a friend that asks me every single time I have trouble walking or standing up straight- "what's wrong" I keep telling him it's the same thing that's wrong with me every single day of my life. And I tell him that if it annoys him that I complain about my pain - he should imagine how annoying it is to have this pain everyday 24 hours a day! I am so stressed about this. I am on medication which has helped somewhat (I'd hate to think of how bad it would be without the meds) I am getting so depressed because life has become so difficult. I hate it!!
I'm sorry-I don't get to complain to others that much :)
I know exactly how you feel. I can't stand to hear myself complain of the exact same thing every day. It's like I have nothing else in my life to talk about anymore. Just my pain and fatigue. I stopped depending on others to give me emotional support because, honestly, they don't. Except on here with others who can relate.
Sometimes you just can't win it seems like. If you tell people how bad you feel they get sick of hearing it, and if you say nothing they think you are just fine and dandy and healthy as a horse and should be bouncing off the walls with energy. So what do you do? I depend on myself to get myself out of the slump. We can be our worst enemy or our best advocate. It's a choice. I try to think of things that I can do and enjoy, whether it be reading a book that is interesting or informative to me, or going out into nature, buy new plants to grow, or playing with my cat or going to the library or just doing things in my house that I've put off for too long. I buy myself flowers sometimes. Think about something that you always wanted to do, but didn't, and then go and do it. It works for me and gets me out of the "feeling trapped in my illness" state.
I have several doctors who understand and are compassionate and they also are uplifting to me.
If you are a spiritual person in any way that is another source of strength to get through the bad days. Remember, your well being doesn't always depend on others understanding and being there for you. Sure, it would be nice, but that's not always possible. I look for ways to put some joy back into my life. You have to in order to counter act the daily wear and tear of the pain and fatigue. I know how difficult it is but you have to deliberately put some positive thoughts and actions into you daily life. I hope you have more and more better days.
THIS IS WHY WE ARE HERE !!! We ALL need to vent, we all have the same issues about complaining too much, insensitive people, feeling isolated, and the main thing: feeling depressed. ANYONE with a chronic illness, especially an "invisible" illness, feels exactly the same way. I could write you a book on my experiences alone! (I'd have to trade you for veterinary advice tho....)
Take a look at these discussions, just so you can see you're not alone, and get a good giggle!
CarolAnn, that is just fine to vent here. Yours was a mild vent, but I know how it feels to have people around you wondering, Aren't you better? What part of chronic do these people not get!!!
We support you because we know exactly how you feel. Why? Because we feel the same way. That's why these websites are so valuable because you can vent safely to us because we feel the same and we understand. Unfortunately the people in your everyday world just don't get it. Just be thankful that you found an online support group that understands what you're experiencing.
Thanks for the amazing words, Allergic. It was quite similar to what I was thinking of writing, but reading it from someone else gives me a little extra sunshine this exhausted morning.
Life gets so hard sometimes when dealing with fibro and that’s when you need family and friends the most but when there not there it makes thing so much harder so that is why we are here for you so from me to to you here is a big hug and this will pass there are good days ahead!!
Aloha everyone. Yes, even with the sun shining everyday and living in Hawaii, retired, wonderful husband, adorable kitty, condo with a million dollar view of the beautiful blue ocean, financially okay, I, too get depressed. If someone offered me a million dollars that wouldn't even make me happy. I would so rather be able to walk and have no pain and live again. I had an appt. with my therapist the other day, with written notes and my feelings, things I have tried to get rid of this pain, both medically and alternative, which have not worked, and basically, bitching about my life. I was prepared to complain, bitch & let it all out. But, by the time I got there, I realized I didn't want to rehash this old story already. I'm so tired and drained, physically and mentally. I decided, instead, that I wanted to concentrate on the future and what I should do with my life. I'm lost. I'm going to try to be more positive and not complain as much. I'm going to try to do things that I like. If I have pain, I will rest. The pain is horrible but I know if I just lay down for awhile it will soon pass. If I feel okay, I'll do what I can. They say, if you think more positive you'll be happier. So, I put a smile on my face, go out in my scooter, say hi to strangers, even talk to some; everyone has a story. Some may be worse off that you. I am grateful for another day and I shall make the best of it, since it is a gift. A gift that I shall not take for granted.
Hello I LIKE the name and spelling MY 23 year old daughter has the same name.
Pain management clinic is what you need. I am 63 (MALE)and have had FM for I believe over 30 years I have /had been diagnosed over 15 years ago. The Mayo clinic has a FM program I was able to use be in the treatment programs Before my wife Died in Jan 08. with in a year I was not able to work and ran out of money and DID NOT PAY MY IN HOUSE INS so I lost my Mayo care, and have no Insurance In late 09
In AUG of 08 I went to/ was enrolled in the pain management program that the MAYO CLINIC has/ Does, they tell me it one of a kind. it is six week program with classed and one on one counseling and you are over seen by a lot of deferent types of doctor , MEDs, are adjusted , your are involved with daily exercise and showed how to work smart and handle and live with your pain. The best part of the program is your family is in the program to AS many as can come to classes, groups and more are offered for FAMILY. My girl friend went to the family parts with me and for her this helped her have a understanding of me and my DAILY STRUGGLE WITH FM
I say all this to tell you you need to learn to MANAGE THE PAIN , and How to get family members to understand and help you with your pain find out what BAD DAYS are and times to say NO I need to rest.
I have been in sales for many years and the fact that you are in pain shows on your face also body signs and actions tell people you are not UP TO PAR. they miss read you pain and it effects your work and how much a sales person can sell.
No one can tell me that FM does not effect you every day its with you even on good days because the lingering effects of pain and fear of not being in control.
I was the last person in the world to admit I had depression BUT THE PILLs/meds I am on = HELP ME with the daily grind of FM. also knowing that there are over 100 different things that happen and effect a person with FM lets you know that its real and others have learned or find a why to live with the CONDITION OF FYBROMYELGIA
try to get your doctor to send you to the PAIN MANAGEMENT PROGAM HERE AT MAYO.
You have had so much good advice so far. I would like to add a couple of suggestions. Talk to your doctor. We don't have to live in pain over a 5 or 6. We needed to experiment with different medications to help me. GIve each some time to take effect. Also I found acupuncture (plus some herbs he gave me for a tea) extremely helpful for mood and pain. It also provided me an hour of quiet time to meditate and just recharge.
The fact is we live with pain and mood swings that take away some of the quality of life. However we can fight with the symptoms or use that energy for other things. My therapist (yes, she helps me too by giving me ideas of how to treat myself well) said to do one nice thing for me each day. It might mean an extra nap, a fresh piece of fruit (treating myself to something healthy), watch a funny show or something on the Comedy Network. Laughter is a great distraction.
Journal if you are a person who writes. I am a writer who forgot the joy I found in writing to entertain myself. I use my blog to ponder life and share things I found powerful. I am watching a movie right now called the Letter Writer which again reminded me of the power of words.
We all have different things we love - music, comedy, nature, sunsets. Someone could wheel you around a museum one day if you love art. You have the key to unlock happiness in your life if you choose to allow it to enter even for one hour a day. You have the right to be frustrated. Your body betrayed you and depression is a symptom that can be relieved with medication. Choose life and happiness and don't stop seeking solutions with doctors until they help you.
I truly know how you feel.I hate complaining about my pain/fatigue .I am isolated,depressed.I have given up trying to explain to others.They just see me "who looks well" just moaning all the time.But when I am quiet everybody thinks everything is okay - ITS NOT.
I hate complaining about my pain too, but when you're in pain, you're in pain. I know I groan and moan a lot and you can tell in my facial expressions, and by the way I try to walk! I am so crooked! I want to go to a chiropractor but I know that will hurt & might even make it worse. The best thing to do, for me, is take my pain pill, lay down about an hour, read, just stay still & wait. Then the world seems like a different place, for awhile at least. I'm having lunch with a friend today & I don't really want to go & I definitely don't want to talk about me because I just might have tears in my eyes, but I know she will ask how I'm doing. I don't want to go there, I'll just say fine, even though I'm not. Maybe she will pick up my spirits!
I know, I have a friend who asks me why I'm walking funny, dah, I've told you before I have fibro & it hurts to walk. She finally got it when I got a cane and now a scooter. One of my friends told be to take Ibuprofen for relief. Ah, I'm on so meds & they don't work, you really think that will do the trick? Unbelievable! I'm sorry, in a yucky mood this morning. They just don't understand. But, when somebody does have an ache or pain, I tell them welcome to my world!
I've found that giving them reading material about our pain and symptomatology is helpful. For some reason they trust words written by others more than they trust us. We must also keep ourselves educated so we can be the leaders in our own healing campaigns. Or else you can keep them awake for several nights until they start to experience some of fibro's aches and pains, and cognitive impairment...Hee Hee!
Thanks everyone. I know we are all going thru the same thing. I like the pain management advice. I'll be seeing my rheumatologist in a couple weeks and I'll ask him. This whole thing is just wearing me down. I find myself not caring about things anymore. I used to always be upbeat no matter what-but now I can't be. I feel like there is no hope of ever feeling good again. That every day of the rest of my life is going to be painful. That's a VERY depressing thought.
Please take this the right way. I acknowledge and feel (literally) the pain you are in because I am in pain. Cry about it, get it out of your system. Then find something to take your mind off of it. Read a book if you can see clearly (my eyes blur print because of side effect of Lyrica when I read too much). Do Suduko puzzles. Taught myself how to do them. Helps with brain fog/farts. Sing. So something that doesn't take energy or the need to move around. EAT DARK CHOCOLATE- it is a mood elevater, about a 1/2 ounce - not a giant bar.
That is a great attitude, Aloha. I think we all can benefit from your advice. I, too find it better when I really listen to my body and accept when I need rest. I drop any guilt I might put on myself for "wasted time" resting. It is NOT wasted time. God gave me this body for better or worse, and I have had to learn to respect it and rest when needed. I am both body and spirit. Feeling badly on a daily basis does not mean I am bad or that the essential "me" is sick. My body is only part of me. And yes, it is important to get out and socialize, even if it means sitting outside your home and saying hello to neighbors.
Carol...I went through a period when I thought every day would be the same-full of pain! It is depressing. But chronic pain does affect our brains and it is easy to believe the lies we are subconsciously telling ourselves. You WILL feel better. Just keep trying anything you think would be good for you. Start the day with a hot bath with Epson salt or better yet--GO SWIMMING. I recently began going mostly every day and the difference is tremendous. Also, try and remember that we have all been given crossed to bear and even our "healthy" friends have crosses. Granted they might not be as severe as ours, but they are there. Do not compare your life with your family or friends. Take care of your own cross, but ask for support when needed. I find it better to be specific. If I call someone I first ask if they have time to talk. Then I tell them i need to vent because of my pain. But I try and remember to ask them how they are doing. Everyone has problems, but when u have chronic pain, it is easy to forget that. I also think that journaling is so great. It helps us dig through the layers of sadness to what we are really feeling. Left out? Hopeless? Jealous? Angry? Disappointed....
