Hello all! I haven’t posted in awhile, but I have been following along by reading other’s posts. I want to reach out and ask for advice and support.
I got married to a wonderful man a month ago. He has supported me throughout the fibro diagnosis and everything that comes with it. The problem is my new in-laws and the stress they are putting on me and my marriage. I feel like I am falling apart and my fibro is flaring out of control. I am more depressed than I have ever been. I can barely function.
Without going into specifics, my In laws have managed to completely alienate me in the month since the wedding. Previously, we had gotten along fine and I liked them very much. Now they are controlling and domineering. They become angry when my husband and I try to talk to them about things. They threaten to take him off the trust for the family farm if we don’t do what they want. I know it’s breaking my husbands heart too. All I do is cry and sleep. I’ve never been so miserable. This is supposed to be a happy time.
I am going to the doc on Monday and am calling to make an appointment with a counselor. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to cope with overwhelming stress? Any thing I should talk to my doc about? Please pray for me and my husband. We need it. Thank you for allowing me to vent.
It is always hard when there is trouble in the family. Without specifics, I have no advice for you. I will keep you in my prayers. I am glad you are seeking a counselor and feel this may be your best bet for both stress relief and advice at this point. I wish you all the best.
When things are really stressful it helps me to take a minute to ground myself. Touch something. Notice how it feels. It’s temperature. Its texture. Take a deap breath and relax and just try to remember it will pass and tomorrows another day.
Hi Laurie,
I am so sorry you are going through so much stress with your family. I have recently been dealing with issues involving my mother-in-law as well. I can relate to what you are saying and how much it can make our lives miserable. We have enough to deal with concerning all the medical issues and symptoms that we definitely don't need any additional stress : ( I think seeing a counselor is a positive thing. They can listen, provide support and hopefully offer techniques to help cope with the circumstances. Marriage has its own challenges and it doesn't need to be complicated with family drama. That just makes it harder. It can create a lot of stress on the relationship. I'm sending hugs and I hope this resolves soon. Something that has helped me that I repeat to myself is, "I can only control myself and I have no control over other peoples actions, attitudes and behaviors. I can only be the best person I can be, and if they aren't happy with it, that is an issue they will have to come to terms with". I also keep in mind that people have the potential to be rude, nasty and selfish...but there are still good people in the world, like you, who try to make a difference and are not liked by others for no reason that is our fault. I've come to terms with the fact that my mother in law is jealous of the relationship I have with my husband and she no longer has the "power" she once had over his life, and mine. We can't always control why people treat us badly, but we certainly don't have to put up with it : ) Now that being said, I know we can't control who our husband's parents are, but we can seek services like counseling to help us cope with how we feel about the situation.
Many hugs,
Sara