Awe, Sweetie...I get what is happening to you and I'm so sorry. Sounds like my hubby when he tries to"help" It's more like the absolute worst scenario he could come up with like...go off all your opioids, here's a little flag you can wave when you're symptomatic and we will spritz you with water to cool you off! SERIOUSLY? How bout taking me out back and shooting me?...because if that's all the understanding you have about my conditions...I'd be better off...offed. Right?
My family actually has been in cahoots to get me off the Oxycontin...felt it was making me a different person and just plain didn't like me on it, no matter that it's for pain they can't even comprehend! They got their wish...cept Doctor turned around and put me on morphine instead...that one kinda bit them in the hiney huh?
Anyway, Ms. Fightergirl...your name says it all and I know that fighter spirit is in you. Have you ever tried to make a routine list for a normal day? things that you can or try to get done? I know when I have a routine to follow, even though I may have to omit a thing or two from the list depending on my ability for the day, I feel better about myself, just having tried and accomplished even a few things on the list. I live with 8 other people in the house, most quite able bodied so if it's something that HAS to be done and I can't get to it, they can do it for me. It's the asking that is the hardest part for me. It's like admitting defeat. I have to erase that kind of thought from my head, it's no good for me to tear myself down any further.
So, dear friend, you need to try to get to a point where you don't blame YOURSELF for what you cannot do..it's the damned Fibro and you've got to start blaming Fibro, get mad at Fibro. If it wasn't for the Fibro, I could do many things but Fibro will limit us from time to time, accept that and take the break it gives you from the things too difficult to do today.
Perhaps hubby should take that walk with you, let him see for himself your inabilities....sometimes it just takes a visual aid for our spouses to get where we are coming from. My hubby had to get reamed out by our doctor before he understood.
There are some very good DISCUSSIONS about a thing called the "Spoon Theory". If you enter that in the DISCUSSION search box the story will come up for you to read. It is very good and has helped me so much to cut myself some slack about what I think I should be getting done every day in my condition.
You know your body and it's responses to stress, illness, chores, etc. You know what it takes to get even the smallest of tasks done in your condition. Hopefully this story will help you to gauge your abilities, accept them and dole out the effort where YOU best think it will be utilized/needed.
Fightergirl...you hang in there. Sounds like you need to educate your loved ones about Fibro, maybe even read them some of the discussions that other members have written. My husband is always blown away by some of the accounts I read him here..it helps to put a face on this disease, for them to understand. Just this last week, I was going through withdrawals from meds, about out of my mind with pain that I couldn't get a handle on, and my knee decided to not support me anymore. So I'm limping, crying, sweating, ornery, bitchy...but I never got a "how ya feeling or anything I can do for you" not a one. They felt bad for me but couldn't even look at me for the guilt they felt for secretly being together on the Oxycontin withdrawal thing. I finally bitched, for all it was worth. Like I said, they were left scratching their heads because of the switch from oxy to morphine. Big Meanies!
Sweetie, trade that sadness in today...congratulate yourself for even getting up out of bed...all the little things that nobody but us understand, brushing teeth, combing hair, etc. Every step you take on these bad flare days is an accomplishment, a spoon that you spend. You decide how many spoons it takes you to get through a day and then only ever give yourself that much. You will learn what takes more spoons than others and you will be able to tell your loved ones how this works, your daughter will be able to understand how the spoon theory works and I bet will gladly join in on the tally and hearing what you spent spoons on today.
I'm sending you just a TON O LOVE today and I ask that you be sweet to yourself today...and every day for that matter. Start Now!
If ever I can help you, please, just ask!
PeacenLove ~ Always~Laurel aka Northwoods