I’m new here but no stranger to fibro. I was diagnosed in 2001 but my symptoms started in 97’ after a car accident. I’m gonna give my story in a nutshell but I plan on writing a blog soon to share my story in detail. I hope you will all read it because I really need to share with/vent to people who understand. Looking through some of the posts here,I think I have come to the right place.
I’m a 42 year old single father with 3 school age children. I’m currently unemployed,alone,very depressed & feeling like my feet are hovering a hair width over rock bottom.
I have no friends,my family turned their backs on me long ago & ever since my mother
passed in 04’,I have been dealing with this on my own with virtually zero moral support. My “family & friends” took the tough love route telling me inspiring gems like “Man up”, “You’re a man & you need to provide for your family,figure it out”. Not to sound over-dramatic but if I was any less of a “man”,I would have put a gun in my mouth & pulled the trigger long ago. The man in me has pushed on through exile,being homeless several times,having no medical insurance throughout most of my fibro experience & so many other things I could be here all day & tomorrow writing it out.
I’m not saying my fibro story is unique but I have yet to meet another man with fibro. I know they are out there but I feel so alone & alienated in my struggle. I really don’t know what to do. There are no support groups close enough to me & I just can’t do this alone anymore.
You're not alone. I'm new here too and these people have helped me immensely. I too have no more family or "in person" friends. But the friends I do have that I've met on other sites and this one, get me through the aloneness.
Feel free to message me if you need an ear. Or just post a discussion..".Please help" and people will jump in here for you.
I noticed no one responded, probably busy reading there links to other discussions. Don't take it personally. I get more replies than I can keep up with on discussions I've commented on. We're all in this together. Let us know about your blog. :)
No, you're not alone. We have some male fibro members. They may be less common than female members but they aren't rare.
I never realized what a man with fibro faces. I'm guessing this is why men with fibro try so hard to hide it. Who would want to hear the comments that were lobbed at you? What awful things to say to someone!
As you know, fibro is dreadful to suffer with. It's impossible for most of us to work with it. Without work, most of us don't have access to health insurance. Without health insurance, we can't get any kind of pain relief and must suffer even more with fibro than we should have to.
Have you applied for disability? If not, you should. It's not an instantaneous process and there is no guarantee that you will get it but if you do, you could also get medical insurance. You can even apply through a lawyer who won't charge unless you win.
Your story is so sad. It's horrible that people can end up homeless and alone simply for GETTING SICK.
You are right to come here. You can tell your story and seek comfort here because we've been through pretty much the same things as you have, except possibly the homelessness. It's empowering to speak to others who have the same illness and who keep on keeping on, regardless.
Thank you for coming and sharing your story, David. I hope you can find some peace through talking with us.
Hi,Petunia. Thank you for your kind words. I did apply for disability & had a hearing scheduled back in 04. Unfortunately,my mother passed away the day before my hearing. I was so distraught & devastated that it had slipped my mind. My lawyer told me that the chances of getting another hearing are very slim so I never tried again. I do have medical insurance now through the county & I have a very good doctor who treats fibro more holistically than medically. That is one positive thing I have going for me but the way everything else is going I’ll be homeless again soon. I live in Minnesota & winter approaches fast so I’m getting a bit worried.
I do get some support through the county but it isn’t much. I wish I could say more but I ruined any chance of anonomity by using my real name. -face palm- When I was making my profile I didn’t realize my name would be displayed. Do you know how I might change that?
Can you contact social services? Or Catholic Charities? Or the Baptist Church? Or the Salvation Army? I know that the last 3 are known to help people in dire straits. Your local elder services might also know of an organization that could help you, even if you're not an elder. The people who run Meals on Wheels in my area are also linked up with social services that help older people (again, if you are older.)
As for disability, I say, go for it, try it again, if you can stomach doing the paperwork. What do you have to lose? Your lawyer might have just been feeling extremely sour grapes over losing his potential fee so perhaps he colored the truth for you.
Are you eligible for TANIF? I have no idea what the eligibility requirements are, but here's a link, if you're interested:
Please let me know if you were able to hook up with some help through any of these agencies. If not, I can rack my brain to see if I can think of anything else.
First of all someone has just asked about a separate sub-group for men, that is in the works, we have a dozen or two men here, perhaps more.
My problems kicked up after being rear ended for the third time and many years later it was finally found that I suffer several autoimmune diseases, the primary one being Psoriatic Arthritis. My Rheumatologist has told me that many times it takes something like this trauma that we can never 'get over' to finally be diagnosed with a genetic disease.
There are many here with a car accident in their history, I have always said it's a great world until you get sick or hurt", most of us got the double whammy. I hope the info given here is helpful to you. If you go to the top of the discussion page and go to the search engine, you can search for things like 'filing for disability' and you will bring up all the discussions and threads with helpful information.
Nice to have you in the group, take care of yourself, and don't give up!
David, I’m so sorry you are having such a hard time, you are not alone! Sometimes life just doesn’t seem fair
we can be your moral support… We understand & I’m not kidding when I say soooo many have posted discussions about loosing family & friends and just feel so alone. do you take something for the depression?
Hang in there, I look forward to reading your blog,
You are blessed to have 3 children
I also lost my job after 23 years, I always supported myself so it’s hard… I try to think. When one door closes another opens…
Hugs & blessing
Btw - personally I think it’s harder for a man, and the fact you have delt with so much… You must be very strong… You deserve the disability … Go after it
