I have been fighting with Major Depression for over 10 years and just when I thought I was gaining some emotional control of my life,I get slapped in the face with this horrible disease. I have felt misunderstood for so many years and now I feel like my family and friends must think i've invented it all. I feel very paranoid at times and become and have become defensive and almost hostile with the people around me.
Can anybody help? I haven't sought out help until now because quite frankly,I didn't know where to look. I hope I've found what I'm looking for.I know I can help others as well,at least with the depression aspect of it all. Unfortunately, I have a lot of experience in that area. So I would love to help anyone who is struggling in that area.
Hi fightergirl and welcome. This is a good place to come to for help in dealing with your fibro. You're definitely not imagining it; it exists. Many of us struggle with the issue of family and fibro. My suggestion to you would be to print out some of our conversations about how difficult it is, and show them to your family members, so they get a real idea of how awful this illness is. In fact, I'll gladly tell them for you: it's awful! We feel badly much of the time and are exhausted from our bodies constantly fighting the pain. We love our family members but we can't interact in the same ways we did before because we're in too much pain and/or very exhausted.
Depression is a very big aspect of fibro. i'm really sorry that you've been hit so badly from it. I've been there myself so I have a lot of sympathy for you and hope you're feeling some better with it. If not, I think that a lot of people here can related and share with you on it.
Please feel free to come back and use the discussion board, chat room, blogs, etc.
Hello! I have also been fighting depression for about 10 years. When I got diagnosed with fibro I was glad to have a name for everything however several people in my life don't think fibro is real. That being said, it is real and I believe you will find a lot of support here. I am no expert and also pretty new to the fibro world, but there are days I sign off here and am ever so grateful I checked in. There is a lot of useful info here as well as some great friends. Best of luck in your journey.
Great message and great advice, Lovett! You've given fightergirl a good start towards understanding how one feels fighting this illness. It's kind of like when you get divorced, first you feel just pure shock, then horrified with disbelieve, then eventually anger seeps in. And finally you reach acceptance and you want to try and move on as best as you can. It's great that you mentioned this, Lovett.
Fightergirl, your name says it all. You’ve fought your battle with depression and hopefully you are winning. It’s hard for people to believe we always hurt with no relief. Most people only hurt when the do something to hurt themselves or for a short period of time but that is not our case. My pain meds hep of I take it at noon everyday. If not I’m in a lot of pain. Also it’s weird that clothes make us hurt. Some people don’t understand that but if I wear anything that is tight on my skin I hurt. Also if my children lean against me or rest their feet on me it hurts. It’s hard for people to understand this and they may not think were crazy but they just can’t understand.
My daughter is 11 and since she was little,her favorite thing to do with me is play"Tickelish". It's quite hard on me but we have the best belly busting laughs. I've had to tell her though that we can't play like that...at least not the way we use to. I would react all the time because she can't grasp that what is just a poke in the leg to most is extremely painful to me! She came up and gave me a big bear hug from behind and the pressure of her little arms around my ribcage was excruciating. I couldn't understand it.How can I possibly expect her to?
That's the biggest heartbreak of all.I can live with a limited social life ect...but it kills me to be constantly disappointing her.She was just getting her head around what depression is and now,eventhough she wants to not hurt my feelings,I get a lot of eye rolling and frustration. So sad.
Welcome fightergirl,
I know all to well about major depression for over 20 years. I’ve seen a psychiatrist for over 20 years. You want to pull the covers over your head and never get out of bed, but you can’t live that way. It took a long way to learn that and each day was a struggle to force myself to get up and go to work.
Unfortunately, I had a lot of other health issues that eventually lead in my mind to my fibro. You are lucky to have control of your depression now. Now it’s time to start to take care of your physical self. The discussions offer many different ways people are trying, what works and doesn’t. I love to read what others are doing. My personal favorite is peppermint oil massaged into my aching muscles. Just be yourself in your posts. Watch out for any voodoo science. It isn’t allowed. Enjoy browsing around.
Aromatherapy was a big part of my life up until the last few months. I was very passionate about it.Since I got really sick though I just have lost interest except for my favorite few. Peppermint is great for cooling and soothing inflammation. It's also great for headaches but I don't use it at night as peppermint is a stimulant so I switch to Lavender. Its not very attractive by the time i have massaged it into my scalp but it's very relaxing and helps me sleep.If I take a bath I always use about 2 cups epsom salts along with a few drops of essential oil.
I hope that's not considered voodoo;-)I have about 35 different essential oils and have been blending for my friends for smaller ailments for over a year. I deluded myself into thinking that I could get off my meds last fall and tried to go all natural.Just because I've been on so many meds for so may years and at times was over-medicated. I did manage however to work it down to what was essential.I also stopped using commercial products for skin care and home cleaning supplies.I think that exposure to all of these chemicals Is wreaking havoc on peoples health all round.Aromatherapy i find is good for the mind.All natural essential oils. But I had to break down and realize that it would not be a replacement. So now I enjoy it as an add-on.
I love my heating pad for my back.I have arthritis in my spine and when I've really overdone it I head straight to the heating pad.
I find though my feet and legs are the absolute worst. It's hard to get relief at all.Is it normal to wake up in such extreme pain and stiffness. I have to hold on to the dresser and then the bannister for dear life when I first get up.
I'm on Tramadol. My doctor said its a pain med that you couldn't become addicted to. I also have a 11 year old. oops 12 year old, we just had a birthday. So I know what you mean when you say its heart breaking that they can't play with us like they would someone without Fibro. Try to find other stuff that the two of you can do together that doesn't involve rough housing. I got my daughter a jewelry making kit for Christmas so we are learning to make jewelry together. I also got a heating blanket last month and instead of using the heating pad I know wrap up in the heating blanket and she loves to snuggle with me under the warm blanket. She will also bring board games out that we can play together. I also use the heating blanket at night and that has helped with waking up stiff. If I use it on low at night I'm fine if not then like you I'm holding onto the dresser to get to the bathroom. The heating blanket has also helped with my cold feet and hands.
Luckily,my daughter and I love to draw...I put 2 soft high back chairs at her art table in her room so we can sit comfortably and draw away.
The heating blanket is a great idea! although as it is I end up with the full duvet on me because my husband runs hot and the room is warmer than her would prefer so he ends up sleeping with just the sheet.lol I didn't know that the cold hands and feet we part of it. Definitely noticed that the cold makes it worse though. In general I don't take the cold well.
What about excessive sweating? I have to take a break after I shower before I dress to cool down. When I return home from getting groceries I'm in a total sweat. Very little activity and i'm a sweaty mess.....Gross! There doesn't seem to be any middle ground. Is that normal?
Thanks Lovett...I'm only allowed 1 percocet 3 times a day and I think its only 5/325...I know it's easy to become tolerant but it's frustrating to think that just because it's addictive , they won't give it even though it's the only thing that really works.
Hi Hun
I have been diagnosed since 2009 after an accident in 2007. I have battled depression all my life and am now 39. You are not crazy but believe me it may help to be just a little.
I sometimes think to myself i must be exaggerating, when my hair hurts and my skin. When my feet are so sore i can’t walk or I’m laying on the floor with waves of pain rolling through me as i cry. But its real! Don’t blame those around you for not understanding because its too difficult and horrific for them to get there head round. I am right cow to be around at times and don’t like anyone even my own family.
This all sounds a bit grim but with your diagnosis comes help from others that do understand. Tips on how to manage the big F and places like this that offer non judgemental sounding boards. On here we send soft hugs, warmth and i sometimes send sunshine from the UK which believe it or not we have had for the last week or so. I send mine from my sofa which is where i spend most of my time. These are of course sayings but what they say is we understand how your feeling and what is fitting for our illness.
Every sufferer is different and how you feel is right for you, whether it be pain or emotional, good or bad. Keep your chin up and look on this as the start of understanding and treatment not an ending. Feel free to contact me. i personally am struggling with the depression part right now and have been for a while. I am on anti depressants but they are not helping much at the moment.
Best of luck to you and yours from me and mine x
Nicola (not on the sofa on the floor instead) 315-2724939B365E4FEDB19DE808AD6AFCE0.JPG (2.45 KB)
If you need anything in regards to the depression please don't hesitate to ask. Whether it be about medication(which I've think I've been on all of them} or to voice the disturbing thoughts swimming around in your head.Believe me,I know how the bottom feels and it's absolutely horrifying. I can't express how my heart breaks for you...anyone struggling to claw their way out to the top. What I've learned is very simple but has saved me more than once. Just because one day is so, bad hang in there because tomorrow can be different. It's like alcohol for me...take one day at a time. Haven't has a drink in over 2 years and I find recovering from depression,or surviving one more day, is much like that.
I made a serious attempt to take my life 3 years ago.I wasn't messing around. I would be dead if my husband hadn;t woken up and found me. I woke up in ICU 3 days later.....I was furious....
I can't tell you how many times,when I'm playing with my daughter or while enjoying anything,I think to myself that IF I HAD SUCCEEDED I WOULD HAVE MISSED ALL OF THIS. My point is that even when we think it won't ever get better, tell yourself that tomorrow might be different and just focus on getting through that 1 day.
I've had major depression for 5 years. It sucks!! at times I would think it was all in my head! I went to counseling for a year and a half and now have a better handle on that. We can't control what others think and really it's not our business. We are better when we just let that go. It's dayum hard :) But it's better for us! You're not alone!!
I also had experience with all sorts of depression. The Bruno Goerning Circle of Friends has a healing meditation that is quite powerful. I prefer to take as few meds as possible as the side effects make me miserable too. Right now I am struggling with seasonal affective disorder, but as it will be spring soon, I expect it to resolve shortly. I've found the best natural antidote to depression is gratitude. I'm ecstatic that I'm not chained to an oven with a bag over my head in the middle east! I'm grateful I have use of all my fingers and toes. When I go "there" I try to find something to be grateful for and don't let the depression pull me down. I don't know if this will help or antagonize you? I hope it helps though.
I’m with you. Peppermint oil masks the pain of my greater opcipital nerve in my head that causes my migraines. I go Wednesday to get my 3 month Botox treatment.
This year I spent $4800 on meds. I did my taxes today at an agency. I’ve got to cut back. My new teacher’s insurance is terrible. It will be more. Sorry, I’ll be positive! I understand. Aromatherapy is great. I have candles everywhere. I’m glad you are proactive and have a positive outlook even though you’ve been dealt such a hand. We all have. Gentle hugs and hopes for a blessed tomorrow.
