I really appreciate my dogs. They lay by my side everyday. And they give me reason to have to get up out of bed. Like when they want out, and when they want to play, my little Shih-tzu is very demanding, when she wants something she will stand down next to the bed and bark very loudly until I get up. I get very frustrated with her when she does this, but on the other hand , I believe she is a very smart dog for being able to communicate and let me know these things. But I feel so guilty at times because I know they would love to go out for a walk, or go to the dog park. I used to take them every day to the dog park, now I very rarely get them there, and the only walk they get is around my large back yard. I hardly even get myself around to doing that anymore. I’m thinking of hiring someone to walk them a couple times a week. I put that off though because I feel like I should be walking them for my sake also, to get a little exercise.
There is a lot of guilt with this disease. I HATE IT! When my husband comes home from work I’m in my bed. I feel like he thinks that’s all I do. Then I always feel like I have to explain myself so I tell him what all I did when I got up in the morning. That’s usually the best time of the day for me to get stuff done. Unless I’m having a super bad day. No matter how bad I feel when I get up in the morning I make myself do as much as I can, and I tell myself when I finish I can lay down, so I don’t feel like I did nothing. My house always looks tidy and somewhat clean. I don’t exercise because I feel like when I have energy I use it to clean or cook, whatever needs to be done. Lately it seems even my weekends are the same, I get up and do a few things until noon 1:00 and then lay down. I wish it wasn’t so darn hard to get up after having a nap. But it’s actually worse getting up in the afternoon then it is in the morning. Then (I hate this) I get a burst of energy or I feel better about the time when I should be going to bed. So I don’t go to bed until 12-1:00 sometimes 2:00am, and I wake up early every morning. I don’t get nearly enough sleep at night , I guess that’s why I’m so tired in the afternoon. Can you all relate to this?
I know I got off the subject of my dogs. I guess I should have made the topic, “Feeling Guilty”.
I was wandering for you folks who have had FM for more then 20 years, does it get worse? I just seems like it has been for me these past few years. I want to exercise and I can’t bring myself to do it. I want to loose weight and I can’t be consistent with anything.
I try to always keep that slogan in the back of my head " One Day At A Time". I just try to do the best I can everyday. And accept that this is what I’ve been delt with. And Pray, Pray, Pray! I guess that’s all I can do.
I also want say, one good thing is I don’t get depressed to much. I’m taking Cymbalta for that and I think it works really well. (((((HUGS))))))) To All!
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Lori, Welcome. I am sure your precious dogs know you love them and would take them out on more walks if you could. Animals are very perceptive. We do our best with this disorder. Are you also talking with anyone about your feelings of guilt such as a counselor? I have found it a great help in past as it can be isolating to have an illness like Fibro. It can have a way of creating barriers to support from family and often counseling can help.
Glad you are here, Lori.
Hugs,
Laurie
Hello,
My little Shit Zu died in October at the age of 13. He was also like yours a huge part of my life. He fought right until the end and a part of me went with him. I buried him out next to my patron with a plaque I had made. Pests are so comforting when dealing with Fibro. There is no way I can get another puppy. I would not be able to give a puppy the care they need. Just like your baby, they feel our emotions and as long as they are close to us is all they want. Sure I felt sometimes bad since I could not do more with him. Please know our little Angels some day and I took all of my photos of him and am making a memory book of his life and the joy he brought me. I took him on trips on the air craft and was always able to bump up to first class with him. We spoil our babies but they become such a huge part of our lives.
I will try to post a photo of him.
Hang in there!
Lori - I have guilt AND a dog. I had 4 but they have died of old age. I have my elderly shit-zu yet. without her it would be hard for me to get up and do things. its important to keep moving. I have had fibro 40 years. I am 71.. 5 years ago I was having the use motorized carts while shopping and crying from the pain. Cortisone took all that away and I felt normal again. however, there are risks to any meds. this spring I found that it affected my bone density and am now on only my codeine. this is not an easy disease. try hard not to feel guilty. we did not do this to ourselves. chin up. keep trying.