I was hoping to be an encourager to others through this site, but today I don't feel very encouraging! I feel guilt. I have been in a lot of pain since last night. I was unable to sleep at all and didn't go to church with my family this morning. My husband is a pastor so I feel really bad when I can't be there to support him. He is great about it but I am so tired of feeling so guilty all the time! I want so bad to do what I used to do and be the "super mom" I once was. My husband and girls say they understand but I don't know if they truly can. I'm missing out on so much. How do some of you deal with guilt and feeling left out?
I am so sorry you feel this way!
I hope you feel better! M
Sounds like you have a great husband who understands and lets you have the time you need when you need it. Keep your head up and don't make yourself into something you are not. We are all children of God, and he loves us. :-)
Thanks everyone!
It's a hard thing to get past. And trying to be who you used to be just leads to more frustration and guilt.
I decided years ago I wasn't going to feel bad (or compare myself to others) when all I could do in a day was read or watch tv. I made a goal, that as long as I had accomplished One thing in a day, than I wasn't going to feel guilty for all that Didn't get done. Of course, some days that One thing may just be getting dressed or brushing my hair, but sometimes it's all I can do.
I'm struggling with this really bad right now. I don't know how much I have to offer you as far as how to get through it except to say...SHARING YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT WHAT YOURE GOING THROUGH HAS HELPED ME. So don't feel any added guilt for not contributing something positive. Youre asking for help, and in doing so you've reminded me that i too am doing my best and have to stop beating myself up about all the things I'm not able to do, and try to focus on the little successes of the day.
Thank you
Hugs
Carolyn
I am sorry that you are suffering so much right now. Sending positive energy and lots of hugs.
One of the things that I love about this site is the freedom to support others and be supported when you need it. I don't think anyone can understand the ups and downs of fibro better than a person who experiences it for themselves. There are times I struggle with posting when I am down or suffering because I didn't want to burden others. But then I realized that I don't feel burdened when reading others stories about pain and suffering. I feel connected because I know what they are going through, it has happened with me.
I bet each and everyone of us has felt guilt at one time or another, in not doing what we think we should or feeling left out. But we can only be who we are; no more, no less. Sometimes I think we focus so much on who we were instead of recognizing who we are; we get stuck in a rut. Yes, who we are today is not who we might have wanted to be, but that doesn't change who we are now. And we have to learn to know this new person, with new boundaries, and strengths. This is a new way of thinking I am trying to embrace. I am tired of placing guilt on me when I am doing the best I can in the circumstances at hand. I think that is all we can ask of ourselves.
It sounds like you have a very supportive family and that is excellent support as you learn to deal with the ups and downs of Fibro.
Wishing you the best,
Singingtrees
There are so many way to be encouraging to others. Sharing your story and letting others know they are not alone encourages all of us.
My feelings on guilt may differ from some but I choose not to feel guilty for who I am or what I can do. I said goodbye to the person I was a while ago. Now I celebrate the person I am today. And that changes everyday. Some days I do more then others but I respect what I do on each day. Cook, cleaning, even going to work does not make me a good person. My compassion, love and respect that I have for myself and others is what makes me a good person. And pain can not take that from me. My family knows that I love them and I believe that is the most important thing there is. I don't know why things happen, I do not know why I was given this situation and maybe I will never know. My daughter has to deal with things maybe other kids her age don't have to but I have to believe that she is also in this situation for a reason. There is a plan for all of us. I have seen my daughter grow in so many ways. Her compassion towards sick and inured people has shown itself in beautiful ways.
Pain affects my body everyday, but it can not change who I choose to be.
I used to feel a lot of guilt till i really over did it now i can say no and i feel i dont have any thing to feel quilty about i did not choose this and i do all the things i am supposed to most of the time i no when i do get down and am in bed i have to remind myself the longer im down the harder it will be to get up but that i must. Maybe some ladies from the church could come see you for prayer meeting just by beeing here and posting you are helping some one when they read your post and the answers you get please dont feel quilty
I am also feeling guilty because just last November I lost my job because the pain got so severe and the stiffness, my headaches don't stop and get very, very bad. Now that I have been home, I still see myself doing those things and working out and trying to evade the pain that had been persistently getting worse and worse. This condition started long ago, and has been over looked for too long. I've been in denial about it for several months after the doctor diagnosed me. With everything that I was doing, and I can't even imagine doing it right now. Not even a 1/4 of what I once did this time last year. I feel like a failure as well, but I did not all those feelings in my journal. I can't wait to start treatments and talk to a counselor. I'm broke all the time and well I'm too young to retire but if I can't do the job, then I can't do it. I don't know what to do.
I agree that trying to do what I used to leads to more frustration and stress which leads to more pain. I would just love for them to find a cure.
Thank you. I do have a lot of support but still no one can understand. I do have a close friend and church member who also has fm and we try and encourage each other. Still hoping for a cure!
Maybe you can qualify for disability. I have thought about applying myself. I only substitute teach right now and the bonus is I can say no when I can't. Lately it's a lot of no's. I'm not sure of your faith and I don't want to be Ms. Preacher's wife, LOL, but I will pray for you.
Thanks for reminding me that it's my heart that makes me who I am, not what I can do!