Just got some bad news

So I remembered my sister telling me that our dad wanted to "talk" to us on our visit to see him this Thanksgiving. I asked her again today what it was about and low and effing behold, My dad has colon cancer. He was diagnosed 3 yrs ago. He's doing chemo and everything but doesn't look sick. His doctor told him that whatever he is doing is working. . I think its that he's not stressing. I haven't spoken to him yet and am gonna wait til T-Day as I can't deal right now.

My father and mother were highschool sweethearts who got married and had 3 kids. They divorced LONG time ago and moved on with their lives but remained best friends. They went thru hell together. When my mother died last Nov 11th, our dad came with my moms sister to be with us in the hospital before we took her off the ventilator. He also is a pastor and proceeded over her funeral. To think he was doing all of this, being there for us and laying his best friend to rest while suffering cancer shows me where I continue to get my strong will from.

I can't believe this. . I am in total shock. I need to get away. I was speaking with my sister and she informed me that she noticed that I have changed. Meaning I am back to how I was 4 yrs ago. I didn't think she'd paid attention to even know but she knows my job is killing me. She says I was happy earlier this yr and last yr, I was healthier, eating right and smiling more and not taking meds. . .once I tol her how I felt she knows now. I promised her I will quit my job and get back to that person.

I didn't know anyone knew or noticed my change but me. She says she needs me to get right because shes stressed. Losing mom, now dad is sick. . .I can't be sick either. Our brother is in prison, been for 12 yrs, could be facing life once he is released, we take care of him, his kids, our own. I can't leave her with this duty alone. I have to get better, I js have to.

Vent. Over.

and by better I do not mean pretending that I don't have this condition but where I am now, i was not here 4 months ago. I was in so much of a better place. . . I aim to get back there.

Mo, I’m sorry to hear about your horrible news. Please remember to take care of yourself. You can’t take on the world and not have it affect you in a negative way with FMS and others. Unfortunately, our special kind of sick doesn’t discriminate wether we are happy or sad. In fact it feeds on stress and makes us more miserable. Like I said Please take care of yourself and your in my thoughts.


Mo, wow, I'm sorry about your dad BUT it sounds like he's beating the cancer, so that's wonderful.

Here's what I suggest, Mo: go away for a few weeks. Rest. Relax. Get your head together a bit. Then come home, and quit, like your sister suggests. Your job is just too much for you. Your sis is right and she sounds like a good person.

And yes, your will seems to match your father's! That's a great asset.

Mo, it really does sound like your life will get better now that your sister knows and can help you out. My sister helps me out. I couldn't make it without her. With this illness, we need help. And it's not shameful or a crime. We're sick. I think your sister finding out is a blessing in disguise, because I think you could have cracked, otherwise. Let her help you a bit. Things will work out.

Dear Mo

That is devasting news about your father, but there are some good things. He does not look sick. I'm hoping that he doesn't feel sick. If he was diagnosed with colon cancer 3 years ago and has been undergoing treatment since then and is neither looking sick nor feeling sick, that's great news. Hopefully it was diagnosed early enough and he has been on treatment for some time so I would consider that the treatment is effective.

But Mo, you have just received word of it so it is a shock to you. I hope you can think about your father and the strength and support he has been to your family. Now he is passing his strength on to you and the rest of his family.

You have many friends here on this site. We love you and support you.

Love and gentle hugs


Dear Mo,

So sorry to hear of all of this sadness in your life. You are very strong and determined, and if anyone can do it you will get my vote. Be good to yourself, as good as you can, I do honestly hope you can get better!



Oh not good news, but he at least seems ok. I personally wouldn't wait to talk to him, you know your situation best, but from my past experience I never wait to tell someone how I feel.

You rest and get strong Mo, it's good you've got your sister, and that she's looking out for you and able to tell you how she feels.

hugs for you all xoxo