Every morning I make an evaluation of how I feel. For quite some time now things have been pretty difficult.
Literally when I try to find a part of my body that does not hurt, I fail. Today its the same way.
I've been working really hard to hold things together, to not cry in front of my daughter and others.
My poor baby has seen her mommy cry too many tears. I'll tell her to go to her room, and she simply replies mommy I'm not going to let you cry alone.
She is 12 years old, and feels like she has to be a mommy to me at time. My God, I truly hope this change one day very soon.
Till then, I will vent here, just get it out of my system, so when she ask mommy how are you, I won't vent to her, or burst into tears. I want to simply smile at her and say, "pumpkin mommy is blessed."
My heart goes out to you, I am sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. Your daughter sounds lovely, and probably is quite happy to help you. But I know what you mean, you feel you should be there for her, and I'm sure you are. Is there anyone else in your family who could help out sometimes? If you find you are crying a lot, maybe a visit to to the Doc? But yes, please vent on here, it's a great place to offload, and we all understand.
I see my doctor so often that it seems I keep him in business. Lets not even go into the specialist I have seen. I am very grateful that my primary doctor is very patient and understanding with me.
My mother was my greatest support, but she has now been resting in peace for almost 3 years. I truly miss her so much.
I'm going to continue to work on being strong and pray that I eventually find a way to manage my health.
I'd like to second the idea of venting on here if it helps. We all know how difficult it can be too hide pain from people who you would rather protect so empathise with you. I don't have any answers I'm afraid but sending very gentle hugs anyway.