Risk of passing fibro on to your children

Hi, I'm just wondering if anybody knows what the chances are of passing fibromyalgia on to our children? I really would love to have children but I would feel so guilty if they ended up getting it too because of me. It's a tricky one...

I don't know if anyone knows the answer to that one, Jo. It would seem that fibro runs in some families. But there could well be a cure by the time any child of yours was an adult. Also possible they might never get it. And, on the other hand, no one else in my family has it, tho my grandma had rheumatoid arthritis. So maybe some people just get it...and some don't.

Not a big help, I'm afraid.

Thanks Petunia Girl, I understand. I just worry, because I am good at that. I am 34 and getting past it anyway, but I guess I could use that a enxcuse to make myself feel better. haha. Also, I worry about being a single mum if I do get to have children because I don't know if I could cope on my own. It's hard enough to look after ourselves isn't it. I will try to find out if there is a chance I could pass on the fibromyalgia somehow, maybe when I see my doc next. Thanks for the help again

Yes, it's a good idea to have a heart-to-heart with your doctor at this time, to see what his opinion is on the matter. I know, it's realistic to consider how it will be to act as a mother when you feel so poorly yourself at times, especially if you're doing it on your own. And, of course, the passing on the illness is another concern. Your caring concern shows me that you'd be a good, loving parent, something that isn't a given for all children. That's the biggest plus, in my book. I think children can handle almost anything when they have a loving, caring parent.

Here's another suggestion for you: why don't you ask people here who are parents if they'd do it again and how they cope. Get a feel for what it's like to be a parent with fibro from the experts. They'll tell it to you straight.

I do have a son but he's grown now and I wasn't experiencing most of my symptoms when he was young, so I can't help you with an answer to this question. However, I will be honest: yes, even at my age and with this affliction, I would love to have another child. But it would be extremely difficult, given all that we go through.

Thanks for the kind words Petunia Girl. I really appreciate it. I do love and care about kids, and used to work with children with learning disabilities. It would be great to have children and I will do some research into the risks involved. It's a shame that there's so many women who can't have children that would be great mothers, when there's some out there who really shouldn't have them. I know people have their problems but the kids should always come first. Thanks for sharing your experiences as they all help to build our futures in the best way possible.

You're so welcome. I think it's a great idea to do some reasearch into the topic, to learn as much as you can. Ask people who've been there. See how they manage to cope. I know the same question came up on another board and every single person said they'd do it again.

That being said, don't wait until you can't anymore. I'm almost 50 now (in a matter of days.) Waited too long after I got divorced to meet someone or have another one on my own. The time went so fast and before I knew it, it was too late! Well, technically I still could but the odds are totally against it. That's my other bit of advice - if you REALLY want a child and feel you can afford one on your own, don't put it off until your body won't do it anymore. It's totally unfair that we women end up out of time but that's how nature is with us.

Good luck on it, Jo!!! I know I loved my time with my son, Lennon.

Thanks again, bless you. I have not been putting off other than not finding the right person that I can trust to be a good father and partner. Again, money is always an issue. I'm pleased to hear that a lot of people with fibro can cope with or without support. It does worry me that I may run out of time because I could not imagine not having children, and I think I would be seriously depressed if it never happens. I guess my best way of coping with the thought of it is to blame the fibro etc. Fingers crossed though, I may find Mr Right soon.

Well, I don’t now the answer to passing it on. I have fibro bit my dad has rheumatoid arthritis. I love being a mommy but with my 2 being so close in age right now I do sometimes wish I had more help. While I do have a loving husband he works all the time, but I would never give up my children for anything, they are my heart and soul and for the most part what keeps me going. They make me get up and do the things I need to do. They are so young right now that they don’t know anything is even wrong. I defanatly think you shouldn’t wait too much longer and on the plus side I felt best when I was prego. I had some prego related pain but my fibro seamed to almost completely disappear. After the birth of my second child where she came so fast I didn’t even have time for an epidural I literally felt like I hadnt felt since before my fibro. Good luck finding mr right.

I heard before that people's fibro improved when they were pregnant, which is quite considerate of mother nature. haha. I'm pleased to hear that you are doing so well, and I can understand that your children are a motivation for you. They are so sweet and innocent and I'm sure they will help mommy round the house etc when they grow up and realise how hard you have strived to give them the best upbringing. Thanks for the luck, i really need it. Haha!