I feel like I'm stuck. I have to continue to work because my husband and I need the income, but I feel unable to work about 50% of the time. Some days it is 100% of the time. I have missed more than 4 days of work the past month and I feel miserable when I am at work. I have been on vacation the past 2 days and I have never felt more able to handle this diagnosis. I'm able to stay home in my pajamas, do housework when I am feeling up to it and take naps throughout the day when my body needs it. When I am at work, I feel like I'm in a headlock. I take my regular breaks, listen to relaxing music on my breaks and try to keep my stress level low, but my job is very stressful and busy. All I can think is how badly I wish to be home on my couch to rest and relax. In the past few days, my body still hurts but I feel emotionally and mentally better. I feel like I'm able to do things to help my pain at home and am able to cope better. I can't do the things at work I need to do to feel better.
On another note, I was helping two clients the other day at work. I dropped a pen cap and bent over to pick it up from my chair and fell over. I bent down too quickly and got dizzy, which caused me to fall. It was horribly embarrasing. This is the first Fibro incident at work that I wasn't able to hide or put on a smile to pretend like it doesn't affect me. It is difficult day after day to pretend I am ok and put on a happy face. People ask, "How are you today?" and I want to scream that I'm not ok, that I'm in pain, that I'm stressed out but I'm here. Instead, I'm just smile and say, "I'm Ok, how are you?" in return.
I hope things are looking better for you. Have you spoken with the doctor to see about changing meds? Stress if very bad for us. Do you have fmla leave that would give you more time of work? We all feel like this at times try and take one minute at a time.
Sara, I have felt that way many a day! I have to carry the health insurance for both my husband & myself; it is not offered to him at his workplace. So, while my income helps out, it is my medical condition that I need the health insurance for. Right now, I am the one that has all the doctor appointments, procedures, & prescriptions that would be astronomically expensive without some decent health insurance. There are many days where I feel really lousy & am less than enthusiastic with having to work. Sometimes I miss several days a month but I try my best. My husband & I do have a plan in the works; our house will be paid off in 4 years. At that time, if I am still pitifully puny, then we will better handle my not working because we should then be able to get some sort of insurance since we won’t have the house payment. That plan is what keeps me going when I am having those painful “I don’t want to be at work” days. I hope that you will feel better really soon & find more days that you are feeling good instead of feeling bad. Hugs from Deb
I know money is an important factor for almost everyone, but your health has to come first. Even if we feel obligated to work, eventually our bodies are going to shut down as a safety mechanism and to remind us that the weight we are carrying is too much to bare. Have you tried talking with your boss or HR about your fibro? Is there anyway they can work out a better schedule for you if you must work? It may also be helpful to get a note from your doctor and seek his/her professional recommendations on how to manage your pain and fatigue a little more.