How is every one doing haven’t written in a while but on once in a while. My depression is at it’s worst I don’t care to do anything even get out of my bed the pain is extremely bad and feeling alone .my husbands daughter husband four kids and two dogs are still in my house since July and was only suppose to stay 2-4 weeks and it’s going on 9 months they are crazy and their kids have no rules no structure and it’s making such a mess out of my family we have my husbands other daughters two kids who are special needs and when there isn’t any structure or routine it sets them off also my husband been in and out of hospital since sept and I just feel no one is here for me doesn’t matter when I’am in pain can’t move I’am just sick of everyone in this house they are all about them selfs and I’am the one who has to worry about everything and I can’t no more and people don’t understand we told his daughter to get out she said call the cops lost my job I loved because of my illness and because of everything else in my life and been diagnosed with other things so I’am not getting better but worse please some advise or guidance .i just don’t care about life anymore thanks for letting me share hugs melissa
Oh my gosh you poor woman! That is way too much to deal with! You wrote alot , but is your husband also asking them to leave? I have a special needs child so I understand about that routine being thrown off. If he is in agreement with you about them leaving…they need to go. It sounds like you should be the one calling the cops. Where does she get off threatoning you? I got really pissed when I read yoûr post. If you have to, get help removing them from your home. Ask a relative…don’t have one, call a social worker or the police. Adult abuse is rarely talked about but happens all the time. I wish I could do song thing for you. Once they are out of there you will have a chance to settle down and get that depression in check. I’m sending you huge hugs. Don’t put up with that crap and ask for help. I know you can do it! Hang in there!
Mel, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255), where you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.
Also, ask your doctor about the possibility of medications for your depression. Sometimes there is a chemical imbalance that can be helped with medication. Hang in there, and please keep us posted. Get those guests out of your house! Call the cops if you need to. Who knows? The call might bring a helpful social worker who can help turn things around for you.
There are social workers who deal specifically with adult abuse, as previously stated. People should not be mooching off of you. Your primary concern is yourself, as it should be, and you have the right to "live in peace" and use self-care techniques to function the best you can... I'm with the other people about getting the family members out of your house. You don't have to be mean to them, but you could put your foot down, maybe offer to help them find a place to live at the same time. Just a suggestion. I am sorry to hear about everything going on... sounds like you have a ton on your plate right now! I'm new to this, but I am sad to hear you don't care about your life anymore... praying you are surrounded with encouragement and love and find the strength to keep fighting!
Oh Mel, that is much too much, no wonder you're depressed! I'll bet that most of it would disappear once your husband's daughter and kids leave. I too understand about life with a special needs kid and they don't need having their schedule changed at all because it sets them off.
Yeah, I agree, call the cops to get them out. It's your house, not theirs! If you don't want cops, have your hubby tell his daughter that rent is due immediately and you'll be charging in hereonin. Or if your husband has any burly relatives, have them come over and escort the unwanted guests out, pronto.
And please do call the helpline because everyone else is right, this is too much for you to handle alone and you deserve to talk to someone caring. The number, once again is: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). We're not equipped here to help you with any suicidal thoughts, I'm sorry to say, but the experts listed above are. Please call, Sweetie.
Pet
Hi Mel , I’m so sorry you are struggling with this, what a very difficult situation !! I think if it was me I’d go to a hotel for a weekend just to get a break , swim , sleep, watch TV , order room service and put them out of your mind for 72 hrs … I know easier said than done !! But it would give you some strength to carry on 
Do it for you !!! If its at all possible, you deserve a break !!!
It’s so hard to cope with fibro & when you are in a situation like this , the stress is just out of control , please take care of you !!! Put your self first , you have to !! I’m sending you a huge hug and many prayers !!
There has to be a way to get them out … That’s just so horrible, I think I might actually call a social worker and get some legal advice , perhaps counseling for you to help figure out how to get them to leave and of course giving them a date and then calling the police , to get some support . You need peace back in your life !!! You deserve peace in your life & certainly it would help with the depression …and then the pain stress results in pain & pain results in depression , it’s a crazy cycle ,
My heart is with ya , my prayers r with ya , & we r here for you :))))
Hugs & blessings
dee b
Hugs Melissa,
Wow you do have a lot on your plate. Take one day at a time and don't forget about your needs. Take care of yourself and keep as much of your schedule for your two little ones as much as possible. Sorry I don't have any advice but I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Gentle Hugs,
Stacey
I've known people with bad family problems who owned the house they were all living in. Now I'm not suggesting this for you, but she sold the house and moved into a smaller space. Other than that get outside help to move the relatives you find making your life that depressing out. I'm so sorry to hear you're in this situation! You need your peace and quiet.
oh my my my, I really feel for you Mel. Just when we think we have it bad someone else has it worse. With your husband going into the hospital seems like he may be feeling the stress of all this chaos.. I would suggest that you speak with your hubby about your feelings since these are his children. Thats how I dealt with situations when it came to my husbands children, though they aren't a factor anymore. Those people need to move on & let you have your life back because I know from experience that stress will put you in the bed with excruciating pain & fatique.(((((((((HUGS))))))))
Mel, I hear your frustration and lack of understanding for your own challenges. Everyone in your family needs a wake up call, and as hard as it might be for you to do it because you seem caring towards others, you have to draw boundaries with everyone.
We all deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, and it sounds like you aren't getting that. Chronic illness is hard enough to deal with. From this moment on, you have to take care of yourself first, and everything else waits in line. I know how hard it is to do this.
jot down exactly what you need. it's your home, your rules, no exceptions. Having your husband back you up will really help turn this situation from chaos to a more loving way to live. Be firm but kind, keep a level head and heart when you talk to everyone all together at once to save your precious energy. YOU CAN DO THIS. People will learn to treat you the way you expect them too, if not forgive their unloving ways and rid your life of their toxic behavior.
I hope better wellness and peace are with you, huge hugs, OM
You need to go on a vacation for 3 weeks at a undisclosed location and let em all take care of themselves you are important you can still visit you hubby in the hostpital but just don't go home .
Tiffany thank you so much yes my husband wants them out but I’am the one to get yelled at because of all the stuff that goes on because you see before I became sick I was the strong one did what I have to do I don’t have the energy some days to do my own life forget about all this other mess I’am sleeping on the couch tonight haven’t slept yet but I kept waking my husband up and he was getting mad this is what I mean I take care of everyone and thing in my home even get up every night with our four yr old granddaughter who is special needs and we have custody of his other daughters child but at night she wakes in tremors and fits all night every night then her brother has special needs and this mess don’t help and both the kids only want me makes me feel good but not when I’am not well and if it’s not them it’s my husband for everything not him the other grand kids look for me because they don’t get anything from their own parents who is there for me no one when is it me time never and I don’t have the will to fight for my time anymore or some help me I shouldn’t have to ask the all see me bad days can’t move I do love when MY SON MY ANGEL comes home from college you feel positive energy walk through that door but he don’t want to come home to visit with all this sorry venting again thank you hugs melissa
Thank you for your advise you care and concern I also took the number down up another night in pain .i do take cymbalta for depression and Wellbutrin will see my doctor again this week she wanted to put me in the hospital last month because blood work wasn’t good dehydrated pain off the charts and for rest I refused my husband would of flipped a lid if I did .I do all his I’ve medication wound care and take care of our two grand kids we have custody of his other daughters but I don’t know if I can keep going like this was just diagnosed with two other things but thank you sooo much for your care hugs melissa
Thank you Lovett for your love and concern I’am up again in pain no one gets here but at least it’s peaceful no one up at the moment and don’t have my husband getting mad I’am on the computer thanks hugs melissa
Love your advise wish I could thanks melissa
I want to say thank you to all of you for your kind words and awesome advise I was trying to reply to all but not feeling well at 2am in the morning so I want to thank you all you all make me feel so special how much you all care things still aren’t good have had many talks with hubby he tells them to leave then that’s it doesn’t follow through and when they do something to upset him I have to hear it no one cares how sick I’am just so use to me being the one to figure everything out well I tell them that’s not me no more don’t have energy please leave me alone but no one listens I do have my brother in law involved now who is a retired FBI He giving them 7days to get out and if not he will be here I try not to involve other people to deal with my issues but I had to so everyone please pray by next week they are out thanks to all of you are such amazing friends and I wish you all to be pain free and happy BIG HUGS TO ALL OF YOU XXXXXMEL
The brother in law sounds great! Don’t you feel bad for involving him. Give that guy a hug from all of us! This is great news. Next, do you think you can call your county extension and ask to speak to a social worker or counselor? I know its hard to reach out but it can only help at this point. You have been through a lot. You have these children that need you, a husband that needs you…and you are exhausted with nothing left for even yourself. I don’t want to judge your husband because you mentioned he is sick also. If it wasn’t for that fact, I would have something else to say about him…you can gain access to counseling, good advice, and perhaps respite services to hep you with these children. Once these other folks are out on their own, thats a good start, but I have a feeling this is where the work just begins. I noticed when you said you have no me time. I have had to fight tooth and nail to get time alone time or help with my daughter from my husband. She has autism. Frankly, some weeks, I get none. So I completely understand. I have had to resort to going somewhere else to get any alone time. I would rather relax at home but that just doesn’t happen. When you are in a place where you can manage it again, make getting that time off/alone a priority again. Be proactive, try to be strong, call to get advice from that social worker/counselor. You have so much going on and I feel for you! Hang in there!!
Mel, stress makes our symptoms worse and my husband has a way of taking his stress and anxiety out on me. Until I learned to say no. Now I tell him I don’t need the stress because it makes me hurt. Maybe you could try that with your husband. Let him know you need to minimize your stress. I know this is easier said then done but since I’ve learned to try to stay calm my pain isn’t as bad.
Gentle Hugs,
Stacey
I really wish I had people understand. My pain in my home it’s so unbearable last few days thanks Hugs mel
Mel,
I'm so sorry you aren't getting the compassion you need at home. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Gentle Hugs,
Stacey