I Hope who reads this is having a good day. I haven’t been on in a while because my life been a living hell having my step daughter her husband four kids two dogs. Are making my life horrible I haven’t been on my iPad in 5weeks I don’t have me time the pain is unbearable and all 11 people in this house don’t get so I lost it and said I’am going to have me time so here I’am .they all think I’am a witch but guess what I’am the only one who gets up for work 4:30 in the morning then when I have a break I come home hook my husband up to his Ives do his wound care and sponge bath and no there isn’t anyone in this house who helps my house is gross their kids broke my frig after I’am done taking care of my husband go back to work then come home deal with my two special need grand kids I’am raising because my other step daughter is a real loser and their cousins being in our house make my two a lot harder then back to taking care of my husband again Ives and all the stuff that goes along I’am burnt and tired always think my life will get better but it just gets worse their r night I come home and fall asleep sitting up my job driving a school bus is becoming to much for me and last week through the hospital into the mix because my husband had a partial amputation to his foot why because he didn’t listen to his doctor so know I have to take care of him not that he ever took care of me just gets angry when I’am down in pain or fall asleep sitting up not that wow my wife is really having a rough time so sorry to vent after not being on here in a while I’am so angry inside and once I start writing I keep going I pray for all my friends wish you all a pain free day which I haven’t had in some time now gentle hugs to you all
Thank you very much I will be looking into this with my MD hugs mel
Mel, sounds like you have way more than your share to deal with. Sometimes we have to say no. With that many people in the home, I would post a list of chores for each one old enough. Even small kids, say age 5 can help fold towels! Is there any way home health could come in to take care of your husband's medical needs? At this rate you will burn out to the point you end up hospitalized very unwell. You don't have to be superwoman, and sounds like everyone expects it. Trust me, when the kryptonite hits, it hits hard. I'm ver ysorry you are struggling so much!
say no.
hugs,
Perplexed
Perplexed thank you for ur kind words and I feel the same way about everyone helping out in the house but when u have a husband who doesn’t speak up for you and our home it’s hard being the only stable structured one his daughter who lives with us has her kids all four ages 14 to 7 tell her what to do get them something to eat I Don’t run my house like that but don’t have the strength to fight all of them all I know I did good raising my boys to college boys first one graduated and bought his first home at 23 and is doing well but my step daughters Gor for give me and today is a really bad day I’am flipping on everyone I explain when the pain is so server and my body hurts nonstop I need to be in my room so no one understands they can here my mouth thanks for caring Mel hugs
You need to learn when to say no! I have the same issue, and I am learning quickly how to not overload myself! My issues are with work, and clubs! I pick up extra hours all the time at work, they come to me to fill every empty spot, and I hardly say no. I am members of different clubs at my kids’ school, and sign up for stuff all the time. My typical day starts at about 6am and I am non stop on my feet, going going going untill bedtime about 11:30pm-midnight…and then i am lucky to actually fall asleep. I usually only get 3-4 hours of sleep each night.
Well, this past week was a 65hr week at work, 3 kids football games, serving team meal for 1 team, and painting 2 banners for Homecoming Football game! Today was my first day off in 8 days, and I was unable to walk for a majority of the day! Leg muscles are contracted andwill not relax, I am unable to relax and have been in pain all day!! And tonight is my oldest son’s Senior Homcoming Dance! I am in so much pain, I have considered going to the ER all day!
JJ, When one of us considers to going to the ER....then ONE MUST GO!!! Jeeeesh already!
Mel, You are taking on too much !!! Even for any (NORMAL) person to do!!! Call the Dept of Human Services & request for a Public Health Nurse for your husband. & since you have 2 special needs grands I am certain you can request respite care. & you could mention to the DHS your crowded home & see if THEY have any ideas. OR better yet wait until the PHN shows up at your doorstep & let the Nurse "absorb" all the chaos that just little ol' you, are trying to contain.
Dear Mel
It's little wonder that you haven't been on here for awhile. You have no "Me time" and that is essential. It makes my head spin to read about all you are doing and all the people in your house.
Last evening I went to a restaurant in the city where I was shopping. After I was seated at a table I started looking at the menu when suddenly the children at the table behind me started being very unruly. Their young mothers had no control over them at all. The noise and running about the table had me tightening up. I almost asked to change to another table, but I didn't. I should have and next time I will! They just spoiled my dinner time. And I am a teacher, retired now for 15 years. But we fibromites are extra sensitive to noise and lights. It stresses us and has us tightening up our muscles and we cannot stop it.
What you live with every day is unconsionable. I am utterly amazed at what you do. BUT you cannot continue this way. Yes indeed you will end up in the hospital a very sick woman indeed. Then the rest of them will have to do something for themselves. You are now doing the work of about six people..........six HEALTHY people.
I am glad that you vented. Do not be sorry about that. You can do that here and find support and some good suggestions which I really hope that you will follow up. Yes indeed you need to have some me time......quiet me time but that never happens. The more you keep doing the more they will all let you do and complain if it isn't exactly what they expect. Please Mel take some action before you completely fall apart and end up in the hospital.
We care about you very much. We support you and with some suggestions. Please act on them. Of course you will meet with some resistance at home, but you must do this for your own health needs. I hope more people respond to this with some other good ideas for you. That is what you need.
Healthy people would collapse under the load of what you do.
And just a few months ago you witnessed the birth of your granddaughter.........a nightmare in which the granddaughter died...........needlessly. You have not been able to really grieve the loss of this granddaughter.
Gentle hugs
Rachel
I am so sorry
Mel, women so often do this to themselves, don't you think? Almost every one of us has said at one point or another how much we STILL do at home and how we are the only ones to do it? Well, I'm not included there, but I've noticed over and over again how most of us put ourselves FAR too much out on a limb at home, even though we just can't deal with all of the housework, etc., anymore. And this after having done the same with our jobs!
If only you could pick up your letter to us and pretend that one of us had written it. If you could do that, then you might get a fresh perspective on it. Such as why you allow the disrespect from your husband and his family? Why not ask the step-daughter, her husband or their kids to pitch in? And why not set limits so you DO get "me" time? Of course, I'm not you or living your life so it's easy for me to say these things, and no doubt hard for you to consider them. But maybe it would be helpful if you did try to put yourself first sometimes because if you don't, you WILL burn out spectacularly from the fibro. You don't deserve that so i hope you can find a way to take back some of your own time for YOU.
Gentle hugs to go with my big mouth,
Petunia
Oh, I agree whole heartedly with you, Luna. Mel, this is the correct course of action.
I know you do not feel well. I had my daughters family of 6 living with us. They are no longer here. It was way too much for me to handle and wore on my mental health as well as my physical health. So I know how awful you feel, BUT you have to do this, if you aren't the one to call help in, nobody will. These are services that you are entitled to! And there is a reason they are available.
Kitty