You are a very wise woman. Thank you for your inspiration. Some days I forget to say thanks, that I opened my eyes this morning, that my house didn't blow away in a tornado and that my family are all ok. Opening my eyes and saying thank you, and I will not be my fibro today, is a wonderful start!
Except, as with the many various symptoms of Fibro, these don't all apply to everyone.
I am NOT blessed with a loving family & friends. As for my faith, for the most part, I have a relationship with God but we have agreed to disagree on why I hurt so much. What have I done to deserve to be in such relentless pain? Sure, all of my illnesses make me appreciate the good things and good people in my life and I certainly know that there are people in far worse shape than myself. But I'm pretty sure I could have learned that with a good, solid six months of pain. Instead, this summer, I celebrate the 31st anniversary of chronic pain. To make matters worse, I feel like I've been circling the bowl in 2013. Everything that could go wrong is going very wrong and there appears to be no answers on the horizon.Show me how to balance the scale as my Rabbi was unable to do and then, perhaps god and I can once again talk on this subject.
Honestly, my spirit is NOT high and my soul is NOT free. I don't those chains coming off anytime soon unless God lets go of my spine (it feels like his hand is wrapped around my spine and squeezing HARD.
However, it is the last lyric that I have the biggest problem with "I will not give up on you as long as you promise not to give up on me." I've had the two loves of my life bow out (one, after twenty years of marriage and one after twenty months). They both cited my disabilities being too much as the reason they dumped me. With the exception of one of my sisters, everyone has given up on me. I only live 150 miles away but I am told that I am young (aka: 45) so I should be able to come up these, bring the dog and my kid. Talk about impossible dreams. Hell, they will not even get Skype so their kids and grandkids can be seen when talking to them - no computer and no interest other than the list of recommended books I read to my mother (her library actually mails to books to her) or TV (despite the fact that both she and my father know how LIVE TV works and how to simply push the PAUSE button, I'm not allowed to call between the hours of 5-7 PM b/c I might interrupt their news.
It's a nice poem, but too much is said that angers me and would anger me if this were supposed to be THE Fibro anthem. BTW, I cannot buy birthday cards with the thoughts and sentimentality of the writer (employed by Hallmark) for certain family members because the sentiments NEVER apply.
I am truly sorry to shoot down this idea. 99% of my contributions to these forums have been positive. You simply struck one of my nerves. To someone unfamiliar with FM or chronic pain, this represents well and you have a lovely poet voice.
Marc...I am so sorry you lost your wife and others because of this disease. I too lost a husband because of it. He understood what Fibro was--was supportive in the daily grind of it but in the end it was my inability to have fun the way we used to. We used jump in the car and just go over the hill to Tahoe or down to San Francisco--all over the place. We owned a B & B, Restaurant and Bar in Gold Country so it was hard to get away and our trips were fast with a lot of driving. We even tried to throw a twin mattress in the back of the Explorer for me but it got so I was just always exhausted when we got anywhere and he would have to go exploring and to dinner by himself. He just couldn't take it anymore. Insisted on divorce. Lost him and the business (which was our social life too) both. I'm sorry about your relationship with God. I don't understand why he allows my pain and fatigue either, and sometimes I get real mad at Him. But I know he is there and I plan to ask him when I see him!!! You probably look just fine to your family and they don't understand why you can't just jump in the car and go see them. My daughter is 32 and I have had this for 30 years so she knows exactly what I go thru, but she still expects me to come see her. Very very hard.Sometimes when I go (4 1/2 hr drive) I can help around the house, play with the grandkids with just some rest periods. Sometimes I just splat when I get there. Last time I came home from there was May 6th. I worked for 3 hours the next morning and I have been in bed every day since. I have gone to church 2x, 2 BBQ's and walked twice since then. Still in bed. Can't figure out why. Anger is good...it is the opposite of depression. God Bless You!
I am sorry you feel this way towards my poem . I didn’t intend for it to hurt or bother anyone in a negative manner but what I won’t apologize for is that it is my motto for being able to make it day to day. I know there’s people with a lot more symptoms than I but we each suffer on our own ways. How we react to that is totally up yo us as individuals
For instance I went to my cardiologist today and yet again was brushed off because he seems to think that because I am a woman my issues are stress and anxiety related… I have a follow up in July with a different doctor for a second opinion. I have a pacemaker which I’m sure to him is just another accessory for a woman( yeah gotta find the humor in it) tomorrow I go to the neurologist because of the issue with the stroke. I definitely
have rough days but I also am thankful for those days as they give me one more day with my children. I didn’t have that as I lost my parents when I was in my mid- teens. I wish you well and will pray for your health. Sending hugs your way >*< - clara
No I didn’t make it but I am planning on getting it as a tattoo just so I will always have strength no matter where I am or what happens. The infinity is just a plus life throw us so many curves why not have smething to fall back on and have as support.