You ever have family members who get on your last damn nerve? The kind who you love but only because the norms of society says you have to? My sister is that person. She is the most irresponsible idiot I know and the more she frustrates me the more tense and in pain I become.
What happened is, she told me my nephew needed his hair cut for school on Tuesday & that our imprisoned brother needs money & since I am the only one with any $, I reluctantly agreed to take care it. Then I paid for the food today for my uncles bday feast. My sister has a bf who lives with her and he is as much of an idiot as she is. Tonight, we took my aunt n uncle to this nice bar/lounge for his bday, I don't drink nor do they so Idiot 1 & 2 goes off to get drinks & later, another. Each drink is no less than $12 so that times 4 is $48 right? NOW I am trying to compute how her MAN, who lives with her can buy her drinks but cannot get her son's hair cut for $15 leaving me with that duty and I'm a single mother!! I only agreed bcus I thought neither of them could afford it.
When I tell yall that I am PISSED!! I am so angry that my shoulders are now burning with pain. She has caused me to have a flare-up. My sister is so irresponsible, always have been and I am so tired of it!! I borrowed her $1,480 for daycare because her idiot BF can't help and he's leaving to live in NY in a few wks. What makes her think I want to borrow her 14 dollars let alone 14 hundred dollars?
I truly dislike her as a person, since we were children I disliked her. I don't see how anyone can be so irresponsible. Here I am breaking my back to support her damn children, our brother, his children, my child, and everything in between while in college on a PT paycheck & she js lives life all "la la la la" in her idiot world with her idiot bf doing idiot things!
I know that what I am about to type next is harsh and mean and no one should ever type/say it unless they mean it AND I DO but I truly with all of me hate having her as my sister. She is pathetic, an idiot, a waste of a mind and to think that we came from the same womb makes me want to vomit. She is the epitome of selfish and she doesn't understand that when she angers me like this, I hurt and now I have to deal with that. Then my brother and his 2 children! My sister agreed to get them for the summer next yr, but didn't clear it with me 1st. Who in the hell is going to pay for them to be here? WHO? I'll tell you who, ME becus that idiot has no $, no savings, no nothing. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I want her to move so far away from me and I am sure about 20% of my FMS pain will be relieved. Why couldn't I have been the only child?
This will be so easy to say but soooo hard for you to do,Just stop let her , them take care of themselfs they keep doing this because they know you will take care of it.Call your brother tell him you will not take care of his kids, Really you donot hate your sister you hate what she is doing and girl you are helping her do it to you. Just tell her know more and stick with it,hard oh yes but its for your own health,be good to you soft hugs
I know this is easier said than done but it her off. You are just enabling her to continue using you. I know she is your family and that would be the hardest thing to do but you need to do it. If you want to still help with your nephew, make sure you pay the money directly to the barber, daycare or whoever to meet his needs. Don’t take her word that the money is going to a particular place cuz she may ask for money for daycare and then spend it on herself and then theres no money for daycare. Or she may tell you it is $1000 when it is $800 so she has money for herself. I have dealt with this before. It may. Seem incredibly selfish to you but you have to put Mo first.
you are so right, you both are. I just feel bad. . it's in my nature to take care of things. Since our mom passed I feel like I have taken on mom's duty and its not my duty. They are her children, not mine. It's so frustrating. . . .it's like I am her bank. I buy for my niece and nephew because I want to but my niece is 6 months old and my sis has barely brought her anything. Sure I splurge on her but she's the first girl and I want to because I can but it seems like I am raising 3 kids financially and I only have one. I put food in her house, gas in her & her bf's car. . .I am a patzy, an idiot myself and it hurts to turn her away but she has to gorw up. I am 30, she's 35 and her bf is 40. . .its sad that they act ilke teens with no responsibilites.
The crazy thing is how much her frustrating me, upsets me and my pain.
Oh Mo! So sorry that you always have to be the responsible one! Gets old, huh?
There are some people in this world that you can never seem to do enough for. After my last car accident, I ended up with a psychologist for a couple of years, she not only helped get me back behind the wheel, but taught me some good coping skills.
She taught me to say "No, I cannot do that, but this is what I can offer, THIS TIME" She taught me to say it nicely and firmly at that moment rather than have it build into an explosion. That way you don't end up with it all on you. It teaches others that you have limits, but you have to let those limits be known. She took on the responsibility, let her have most of it!
It is hard not to feel bad when we are the nurturers/ caregivers. In the past year, I have gone from being the person who did it all to almost nothing. It sucks but it took illness to make me slow down. I hope you work things out with her so that you can have a loving and reciprocal relationship. And I like SK’s advice to talk to her before you blow. It always helps. For example, my husband listens much better when I talk to him and not blow up as I have a tendency to do cuz I hold stuff in way too long. Hugs and prayers
Poor Mo, you are a decent person and a caring sister and aunt. You do things right and get taken advantage of. I think everyone else here is right - if you're going to pay for things, make sure you do it yourself and not give it to your sis or her BF. And now that you aren't working, you have the perfect excuse for no longer splurging on everyone else. I know it must be hard, you care about your family and want what's best but it's their responsibility too. I mean heck, you're the sick one. They should be helping you out. Right?